"Here's a dollar donation to get yourself some therapy, you nutcase"
 

So yesterday my sorority had a philanthropy project at our local mall. We had our annual Teddy Bear Tree, which we've been doing for quite some time. One weekend per year we go to the local mall and hang teddy bears from a Christmas tree (not as morbid as some of you are thinking :p). We ask people to adopt these bears for the local police department, who gives these bears to children who are taken into custody. Sometimes children are taken in because of an accident, domestic dispute, child abuse, etc. These kids are usually very scared and think they've done something wrong. The police give them a teddy bear to hang on to and hug to make the kids not feel so alone. There is also a tag that says "I've been adopted for you by ________" so that the kids know that someone out there is thinking about them. We ask for $3 for small bears and $5 for large ones. It is completely non-profit, as we buy more bears with any extra money we receive.

So about an hour into my shift I ask a lady, "Would you like to adopt a bear for a child in need?" She stops and asks what our project is. After I'm done explaining she says, "Those kids don't need teddy bears, they need their parents."

Apparently I haven't done a very good job of explaining the whole idea to her. So I say, "Well, this is for when they CAN'T have their parents. I know they obviously would rather have their parents, but if they're in police custody they can't."

The woman says, "It's not good enough. These kids don't want toys, they want their parents."

Apparently this woman thinks I have some sort of control over what the police do with their families. So I try to give her a scenario. "Well ma'am, say there's been a car accident and the child's parents are seriously hurt or dead. The child will have to be at the police station until they locate the next of kin to come in and take care of them."

"No", she says, "they'll be taken into foster care."

Okay, by this point I'm realizing this woman is trying to pick a fight. She then launches into how she was raised in an alcoholic family and how she wanted clothes, not a stupid toy. We try to calmly explain to her that it's only a temporary solution, not a permanent one, and that we've also done such projects as adopting families who need food and clothes at Christmastime. One of the girls also replies that her dad was an alcoholic as well, and she would have appreciated the fact that someone was thinking about her.

The woman finally leaves. The other girl, Becky, and I are pretty incredulous that this woman would go off on us for just trying to do something good. It's not like we're killing puppies to raise money for these teddy bears, we're simply asking for donations. The two other girls who went and grabbed lunch come back, and we tell them about what they've missed.

All of a sudden, she's BACK. Once again she's ranting and then she throws this one at us: "How do I know that you're not just pocketing this money?"

I've had enough of this woman. She's been preventing people from coming by and making donations, and she's just trying to cause trouble. Why can't she go mind her own business? Or better yet, why doesn't she go save all of these children herself since she thinks she knows what's best for them?

I said, "Well, for one, I don't think the Melbourne Police would allow us to associate their name with this if we were not legit. Two, we've been doing this for several years, so I would think that the mall or the police would have caught on by now if we were scam artists. Lastly, the mall doesn't just randomly give people a table and a place to solicit for donations to any random person who asks. They've checked out our background and made sure that we do what we really do."

"Well, I have a problem with police as well," she says, and finally leaves.

Good God, what was this woman's problem? As I was telling my dad this on the phone he said, "You should have told her 'Here's a dollar donation to get yourself some therapy, you nutcase'".

I just don't understand why people are going to be so pissed off that a couple of girls are trying to do something good for others.

Because some people are pissed off by anything, everything and nothing. The sun rises and they get pissed off.

Sounds like you handled the situation very well -- and it also sounds like a great charity. Good luck!

Your dad's advice was great--but it's a good thing you didn't do it. <GGG> You would REALLY have had a fight on your hands.

Blow it off. This person had issues, plain and simple. I've seen this type too. Nothing you can do but let it run its course.

The charity sounds *excellent*!! Here in SE Texas, we have more than our fair share it seems of crime, prisoners, families involved, etc. It would be great to see a program like that join forces w/ HPD, the Huntsville Penitentiary, etc.

Adrienne
:)

You should have told her well hold on and let her know that you would contact them for her so that she could tell them how she felt!

AstroAPHI, hats off to you and your sisters for continuing with your charity even if not everyone in the community realizes how much good you are doing.

Another great children's charity for this time of the year is run by the post office in many cities. The post office collects letters to Santa that poor children write. Frequently the kids ask for very poignant gifts, like a warm hat or mittens, or something for their little brother, not just toys for themselves. Community groups pick up the letters and then buy the gifts the children asked for and deliver them on Christmas Eve. The children think that Santa really read their letter (and he sort of did).

Ivy

Yikes.. sounds like the lady has some serious personal problems.

At any rate, I think what you and your sisters were doing is an awesome project, and it's good to know there are people that do care about others, and I think it's also cool that you ladies handled the situation with such class :)

AstroAPhi -- You handled a bad situation in the best way you could. By keeping your cool and dealing with the woman in a respectful but firm manner, you showed class and definitely did your organization proud. :)

IvySpice -- I love the idea of the Santa letters. What an awesome program!

Geez! That woman had more issues than the National Enquirer!

Yep, heard that one before. The woman alluded to her *possible* psychiatric problems, and lots of psych patients just love to stir things up. They get something out of people spending all that energy on them. I work in a psychiatric hospital, and I have people call on the phone just to stir something up. As soon as I say ANYTHING other than hello (and sometimes THAT sets them off!!!), I get a ranting, raving cussing for 30 minutes!

Best thing to do is say something like "OK, thank you!" and move on.

I think your philanthropy is GREAT!! I have seen teddy bear drives where people collect bears to donate to the police, but haven't seen it as an "adoption" idea. Cool. Keep up the good work!

go girl
 

good charity...
one cannot do enough for little ones particularly this time of year.
re the lady...she is just a jerk, maybe she needed a bear when she was little.
keep up the good work.

That is a fabulous philanthropy idea. Three cheers for you guys!

My boyfriend suggested that perhaps she was the alcoholic parent and that she was feeling guilty. :p