A white woman's question to Black Men...
 

Maybe some of you all saw this article in Sister 2 Sister....but what do u all think? Is this white girl right?? Even though the Black man that responds does a good job defending us.....the white girl did make a few relevant points...:rolleyes: what do you all think? (I hope this hasn't been posted before! :eek:


This letter was written in response to an article in the Sister 2 Sister Magazine (January 2000 issue).

Dear Jamie:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.
I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking,
educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes
about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings
amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too
loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying
too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get
and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.
Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA.

************************************************** *
RESPONSE:

Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.
Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated
from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta,Georgia with a
Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself
to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious
time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day,
one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because
they were considered easy. The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in
the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity
and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would
look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they
turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of
insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by
the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be
more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair
Underwood, Samuel Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women. And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot
light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson,
Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want a disgusted
white girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are white that you
are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like
Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in
Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating
each other over the head with clubs. Read your history. It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breastfeeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure
watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail.
Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a
woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the black
women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women.
Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their
ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they
believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest
potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen
in love with black women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared
more toward jealousy and envy than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are
so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale
skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with
unnatural
and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I
think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what
the black woman has.


BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman. Someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. I guess you are just S. O. L.

No offense taken,

none given.
Signed,

Black Royalty

And that's the end of THIS subject. ha ha!! Well spoken, my Brotha.

Been around before
 

This "letter" was circulated via email all over the place 2 years ago. Shortly afterwards the "response" was written and circulated. Last I heard they had both been staged to generate publicity for the magazine. Anyone else hear that?

IT does kinda sound and seem staged to me....but if there really is a brother that wrote this, he is definitely to be commended!

...and actually when I first read it, I didn't think a white girl could have put a letter like that together...

Not to invade your forum or thread, but I have a question.. And I'm not tryin to be a smartass or anything like that. But.. Had that letter never crossed your eyes, staged or not, woul the response be the same upon seeing the second letter? I mean, would things like 'I didn't think a white girl could put something together like that anyways' cross your mind during every day life? Just curious.

Let me put my spin on why the "I didn't think a white girl could put something together like that anyways" comment was made. The entire letter was to throw the ball and let us run with it. You mean to tell me this white person wrote to a black mag to get other black opinions to justify her white idealogy as to what is wrong with black women?...right..;) Now let's move on to her name... Disgusted White Girl. Now why is she disgusted if she has what we (black women) desire? Exactly who is the disgust directed towards and why is she looking for other black men to be her cheerleaders? The name alone is used to start a messy debate in hopes to futher justify her point of black women being mean, bossy, and argumentative. You know the stereotypical adjectives you've heard. Then she continues with the "let me tell you what my black man said about you black women" rhetoric. You see that is to get us writing in because I guess we're supposed to be fuming. It also looks as if Disgusted did a little research to support her "theories." Do I think a white girl could put that together or do I think this way in every day life? Let me just ask this, how many white girls know Kofi Anan and the race of his mate for that matter? She went beyond the call of duty with her interracial relationship examples. I'm not saying a white lady couldn't have written that, but the writing style is suspect. The letter sounds more like a setup for the letter pool rather than an interested white lady looking for answers. These letters have been around for two years now and it's still circulating. Sometimes it's even reprinted in the mag. It's to get the consumers to talking and hopefully money in the pockets of the mag. So don't take the comment as a direct aim or hit to a white girl's intelligence or lack thereof, take it for what it's worth....a response to a marketing ploy.

Very...Very...well said Afrochic :D It's not often that I don't have anything to add! :p

DigitalAngel126: YES, my response would've been the same. This is obviously staged, in my opinion. But, there are white women (and thank God) black men who (in real life) actually feel the ways that were expressed in the "initial letter" and the "response to it."

LadyGreek: Heeey, Soror!

Love_Spell_6: Love to a VA Soror. Are you one of the '02 Norfolk Alumnae Sorors?

Agreed that it was a marketing ploy, completely.. I was just confused to what that comment was implying. The way I read it was 'A white girl wouldn't have the brains to come up with something like that'. Being a journalism major myself, I took offense.. Although I am quick to take offense, I admit that, I guess I just took it wrong. In any case, TOTALLY agreed that it's a ploy...Given any race, I don't know anyone that would/could come up with something like that off the top of their heads and have the chutzpah to sign it 'disgusted white girl' to a primarily black publication...

Actually Spring 01 ;) (norfolk didn't have a "02 line) Your chapter Sorors always showed madd love whenever they were owt! And they always were! :) R U active in the area?

Well I do disagree with you on one point. I DO believe that some white women feel this way....and that some black men feel the way that this gentleman feels.... I just think IN THIS INSTANCE it was staged. Let's not get it twisted, I do feel like "Black Royalty's" comments were definitely on point when he gave his reasoning why SOME Black men date white women.

That may be offensive to you, but that's what my own experience has taught me when talking with black men that date white women exclusively. White women in a lot of areas are considered "easier" because they tend to take a lot of things that black women will not.....Sorry if you are offended....but that's how A LOT of people think..

I don't take offense to you thinking some men feel that way, that's not what I meant. All I was saying was that I didn't know if the 'white girl couldn't come up with this' thing was geared toward 'white girls' or of it would've been said had it been "Disgusted Asian Girl". That's all. And I don't doubt that some black men feel that way.

If you've met Rho Rho then you've met me (that's how tiny of a chapter we are).

I've lived in Raleigh, NC since this past summer. I've financially been a Member-at-Large SA since 99. I'm a "step away" from joining an alumnae chapter down here.

MANY black men feel that way...MANY white women feel that way. Those opinions expressed are the norms and not the exceptions to the rule.

The "white girl couldn't think of that" is definitely aimed at white girls. BUT, not just ANY white girls...white girls who think that having a black man speaks volumes on THEIR worth as a white woman, and the lack thereof of black women. If that statement offends any of the white women here, then I'm offended by you.

If it were a "Disgusted Asian Girl" I would laugh because asian women are less likely to express such viewpoints (and less likely to be dating black men...or to view their dating black men as their taking them AWAY from black women). The constructs of race in AmeriKKKa are black and white, which has a lot to do with people's reactions.