worried and confused
 

Im going to join college soon and I am looking into becoming a member of a sorority. I have been readin this site alot and its helped through many of my questions that I have had. I still however am wondering... I saw this eposoid of touched by an angel and everyone i know has been telling me warning me not to get involved with them. However i have this intrest in them. Most of you all are very experianced and I was wondering for sororities is it true that you have to sleep with a whole fraternity house... Is it true that you have to give sexual favors to a member of a fraternity house ... is it true that you have to become a slave for a week to all the sisters of the sorority house... also is it true that you have to get drunk and almost die to get in a sorority? I hope no one gets offended by this Im just really lost and thought you guys could help me out. So someone please please respond to this.


chrissy

Chrissy,

Absolutely, positively NOT (to all of the above questions)!

Anything even approaching any of those behaviors is considered hazing (not to mention downright sick) and banned by sororities. For more information about the real story on sororities (and not the made-for-tv garbage) please check out their national sites.

The answers to your questions are absolutely not, absolutely not, absolutely not, and absolutely not.

There was a thread on here that discussed the "Touched By an Angel" episode. They couldn't even get the rush process right (which is how someone becomes a member...the guy was told to "go and pledge" as if he just had to sign up, which is totally untrue), and it got more ridiculous from there.

The representations of Greek life that you have seen in the media (especially the past few years) are no more realistic than other media interpretations...how much does your high school resemble the ones on Popular or Dawson's Creek? Unfortunately, there is a very real anti-Greek bias in the media and they have become one of the few groups that can be maligned and misinterpreted with very little outcry.

Thanks for coming here and trying to find out more about what Greek life is REALLY like instead of just accepting the media's version of it.

Chrissy,
It's good to see more & more people doing their research before just going blindly though rush. Although I'm not yet in a sorority I will be going through informal rush this upcoming semester. I am so sorry to hear that people have been telling you these things & that you had to see them on tv. At first I got all of those responses too, but once I started getting to know Greeks at school, I knew that the others were wrong. I'm not sure what your campus will be like, but at mine a large number of the girls are still virgins & have been in the sorority going on 3 years, & also alot of them don't drink. Also about that whole fraternity favors thing, I've been friends with Greek guys since I was a sophomore in High School (we all know how guys can talk http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif) & I have honestly never heard of anything like that. My advice, would be to go ahead & research the Greek orgs at your college or at a few if you're not sure where you're going. Check out their web pages & even try e-mailing a few of the girls. Greek orgs vary SO much from campus to campus that the only way to really know, is to research (but none should include any of the above!)
Hope that helps some

Allison

With all due respect, this question is either a total set-up, or this person will believe anything. This stuff is not only hazing, it's illegal.

Let's get a grip.

Delt Alum, you are absolutely and exactly on the money. I expect we will get several posts from posers because I've seen an "Annoy GreekChat" hyperlink to this website--you guys can guess whose AntiGreek website it's on.

How many guesses do we get? You know - one for each name... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

I'll just ditto the remarks of DeltAlum!



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"Alpha Chi Omega - If you only had 2 wishes, what would your second one be?"

I realize now that the question was very stupid. However, if you think I am someone trying to get you in trouble you are unmistakably wrong. I am not asking you to put your trust in me because I know that you can not do that. But I can promise you I am not trieng to get anyone into n e sort of trouble. Im no computer wiz I barley could figure out how to quote this. Im a High school student for gods sake I dont know everything there is to know about this stuff. Havnt you ever done n e thing illegal before or been in a situation where someone you know has done something illegal. People do it all the time. They steal they speed they do all sorts of things. Just because its illegal doesnt mean people dont do it. Plus if you think that this kind of Abuse isnt going on then you are absoulutly wrong and 100 times more dense than I am. Open your eyes things like this are happening all the time. I for one dont think that is undoubtlly wrong. I think fraternities and sororities are kind of like gangs. Like goodie goodie gangs. To get in a gang you have to get beat in right. Well... Not saying its right or wrong but I belive in the whole hell week thing i think it shows your dedication to the sorority or fraternity you want to join. Call me what you want but please dont judge me when you dont even know me. I know if you knew me chances are youd be one of my friends. I dont see how i couldnt have takin that offensfully you were calling me a liar. I dont know how n e one could not that that offensfully. However, I still want to remain "Cool" with you because i understand that you were just giving your opinion and i respect that you would be nice enough and blunt enough to express that to me. I just want everyone to know that Im not a liar I am who I say I am and nothing else and i am not stupid. Im not always right Im not always wrong but then again who is?

Are you serious? An "Annoy Greek Chat" hyperlink? Now I'm annoyed that the annoyance is intentional. Some people have way too much time on their hands.

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"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige)

And to this... If I wanted to annoy you... Id find a better way of doing it. Accusing me of trieng to annoy you is just wrong because it was a normal question I found nothing offending or obserd about it. The media really plays out how bad Hazing is and people cant help but question if it is really that bad. Everyone knows it is illegal but dont you see people get a high off of doing this because they have low self esteem its not like it was more likley than not that this kind of torture didnt happen. Anyone with a half of brain in their head would know this. I want to thank all the people who didnt give rude answers you should be role models to Carnation because what Carnation said was not only childish but COMPLEATLY out of line. I really think you should THINK before you write. However, in spite of all of this i do not want to be your enemy and I hope that you dont take what i have just said as offensfully but as the truth.

Chrissy

Nope, Carnation stands by her answer because as a college professor she is stunned not only by the naivete about Greeks but the spelling and grammar used by the poster, who says she intends to go to college. Please don't write like that on any essays.

Chrissy also posted on a couple other forums about clothes and fraternities. No she's not using the Queen's English, but she is hardly the only poster guilty of that on here.

Sadly enough...if all I had to go on was the media, and I was a first generation college student and didn't know anyone in college...I don't know that I wouldn't think some of the stories like Chrissy related are true. Yes, I think that the anti-Greek media bias has gotten that out of hand. Plus I'd hate to hear what high school guidance counselors are saying these days.

If Carol and Co. (sounds like the sequel to Charles in Charge) do have a link on their site, it is possible that people looking for real Greek info will stumble across their site first and then come here.

I hope the Charge of the Whacko Brigade hasn't made us all so suspicious and cynical that we can't take a post on its own merit. If it has, score one for them, not us.

Chrissy,

I'll answer your question to the best of my ability. No. None of those things are required of you. Most are just legends, created by people who were scared of or didn't like sororities, meant to scare girls away from joining.

Sororities will have social and even some philanthropy projects in conjuncion with a fraternity, however, the pledge process has nothing to do with them. You won't be required to do anything with fraternity members in order to be initiated.

Basically, the pledge process is to prepare you--with history--for the sorority. Most sororities, if not all, require you to know about it's history. You also will be given projects. For instance, while I pledged, we had to coordinate a philanthropy project for the sorority, host and coordinate a fundraiser, host and coordinate a sisterhood project, and learn the history of or sorority. All things vital to continuing a sorority. Yes, it can be work at times, but it's for the good of the sorority--and it helps create and build character. Knowing how to do these things creates leadership skills and study skills--which is also vital to a sorority--and life in general.

Sororities, despite rumors, are around for the greater good. They were designed for an elite group of girls, and used to further their aims and ideals. Being a part of a sorority is supposed to be about helping the community. Many people fail to see that aspect of sorority life. They only see the social side, and although we are social sororities-and fraternities, this is not our only aim in life. Many, if not all, sororities take their business seriously, and many will agree that the parties come after the work.

Think about a typical college week. Many students get up, go to class, eat their meals, go home, socialize in their dorms, study and go to bed. While this is the aim of college and universities--to produce graduates, sororities and fraternities ADD to these things. A typical week with a sorority member might be drastically different. They get up extra early to help with a campus clean up project they coordinated, they go off to class, they have lunch, they go off to class again, they go home, they get ready for a sorority dinner, they socialize, they go to a sorority meeting, They hold a risk mangangment workshop, they compile into study groups, they go to bed. Everyday it's something new. They are creating a better college experience by getting involved in something.

The most important thing for you to do, while looking into sororities, is to look at all the options. Know what each sorority is about. Check out their national webpages, look at how active they are on campus, think about their philanthropy and if you would enjoy supporting it.

I hope that I've helped you see a more positive light about sororities. Yes, they are hard work, and can even be stressful at times, but they help build self esteem, character, leadership skills, study skills, social skills. They teach you to look out for your friends/loved ones, how to get involved in your communities, they open new doors to new places. They create networking opportunities and lifelong sisterhood friendships.

I'd like to add, yes, you are right. Hazing DOES occur. However, it is the exception--not the rule. I was never hazed in EITHER of my soririties. Hazing is a terrible thing, illegal of course, and detrimental to our organizations and the individuals involved. Sororities ar trying to get rid of hazing--be sure of that. Each National Sorority (I'm not sure about Locals) has something called Risk Management. This is to provide the sorority with facts about hazing and other issues involving sororities and women. I would also like to point out that fraternities and sororities are not the only type of organizations that have been known to haze. The military is a big breeding ground for hazing, along with high school, college, and professional sports. Know this, sororities as a whole are trying to do away with hazing--again, it's the exception, not the rule.

[This message has been edited by mgdzkm433 (edited November 28, 2000).]

I agree that we should be considerate of others who post here and give them the benefit of the doubt.

However, check some of the later postings on the "Anti-Hazing has gone too far" thread on this forum where "Chrissy 3912" claims to have been initiated already. Something just doesn't add up here. In most sororities I'm aware of it's difficult to be a high school student on November 25, and an initiated member on November 27.

It still smacks of a set up to me. Either that or "Chrissy" and "Cybil" (wasn't she the one with multiple personalities?) have something in common.

DeltAlum

[This message has been edited by DeltAlum (edited November 29, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by DeltAlum (edited November 29, 2000).]

Carnation,

If you are a college Professor Than I have some questions for you.

1. This is NOT an English paper this is a message board why would I have to have perfect grammer and spelling to write in it do you really think that I have time to fix every little mistake that I make?

2. Since you are a college professor are you not suppose to be a role model to people who want to be in college encouraging them? Not putting them down.

I know I am not perfect I never claimed to be and its obious Im not. I dont think you have the right to pick me apart though, or accuse me of something that I did not do.

Chrissy