Need Advice (Long)
 

Deleted

First, you don't need to transfer schools. IMO doing that strictly for reasons of sorority affiliation is superficial.

Next, how many invites did you have for Pref round in your second year formal recruitment? You say your head was messed up and you felt defeated. Was dropping out your only choice because your bid chapter from year one was your only pref choice second year?

Please quietly and privately consider your life purpose. Is it only to become a sorority member?

Upon reading your story my impression is that your life is in much less stress, and yet very successful, without belonging to the greek-lettered crowd.

And because our chapters are membership by invitation only, plus your multiple attempts to belong have not lived up to your definition of success, my advice is to be fine with the fact your sorority journey did not culminate with initiation.

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It's curious that you give us so many personal variables to absorb before we advise. I believe if you deeply read your own posts here again, a satisfactory answer to your dilemma will come to you.


For instance, you indicate you might change schools due to your finances. You can't join a new chapter where you won't be at next semester. From your previous pledging you know and understand the expense being a collegiate sorority member takes, so how will your current finances match any colony cost structure should you stay at your current campus?


Will a new colony want you? Will you have success should you attempt regular Fall Recruitment your Junior year? We honestly can't tell you, but the sororities will make their decisions and let you know if you choose to recruit yet again.


Will you continue to, as you say, beat yourself up and feel stressed and different wondering "what if I should have done this" and "why did they do that" instead of focusing on strengths you have going into your new possible recruitment situation?


You feel like you will come across as a complete loser or shopper in your fourth recruitment attempt (INCLUDING THE COB YOU SIGNED UP FOR, which caused you stress because no one called you). That attitude WILL come across in your convos with a new colony IF YOU ALLOW IT.


Again, thoughtfully re-read your inquiries made here, and your listed responses to your former recruitment experiences, to garner your future actions in the sorority recruitment realm.


You have the right to disregard any advise you asked for.

Being a member of a colony can be very rewarding, but it is very hard. It will be even harder at a southern school with a competitive Greek system. The national group is going to be very picky about whom they choose to get off on the right foot and yes, your previous two rushes and dropping before initiation might hurt your chances.

I advise you to look into service organizations or organizations affiliated with your field of study.

Guess we forgot AZTheta's admonition to ALWAYS QFP here! :o I was thinking this would occur after their first edit yesterday.

Thanks for nothing, right?

Sigh.

I’m not dead yet, and I truly appreciate the kind words and thoughts when I posted a few months back about my journey. It was very much appreciated, indeed. Still doing what I can, & try to check this site when I remember.

Oh well. Nothing to see here.

Good to see you in the virtual realm and glad to see you are doing what you can! I know I missed the boat on whatever this post was about.

I initially saw the post and was like "eh I'll read it back later" and by the time I was going to sit and read the thread/responses the post was deleted!

Me too, don’t know what I missed posted from @aztheta, hopefully she’s still active on FB so I can inquire there!

I’m hardly on the book of faces, it’s annoying and full of misinformation IMO. I thought about you just yesterday, used the fork you sent me. Do you have my email or cell? I can message you directly with contact info. Easy to just deal with texts these days.

Cookiez17 - you let me down. You typically qfp everyone. And the one time it would be good to have an qfp, you blew it. Another sigh… oh well. Onward.

After reading reponses to the original post, I'm glad the OP deleted it. Saved me a bunch of time. Another case of the person asking advice not liking the advice she got in the first place.