My Sopmore rushing experience
 

Hi, I wanted to talk a little about my experience and get some advice. I go to a big state school and rushed as a freshman. I went through each round with an open mind to what houses I got back. By philanthropy day I only got the two houses back that I did not have good conversation with. And no it’s not because they were bottom tier or anything I just tried to bond with them and I could not. To me there was no reason to join where I didn’t feel at home so I ended up dropping. All my freinds joined and encouraged me to do it again the next year so I did. I was happy with my schedule each day receiveing the max amount of houses you can. Until we got our pref night schedules. I looked and I had lost 4 out of the 5 houses on my list. I had once House. I was so sure that this year would go better for me and really opened myself up to more options and I was left with one of the two houses I had last year and could not bond with. I still went to pref and it confirmed that that wasn’t my home I felt uncomfortable and that’s not how you are supposed to feel. I really tried to be myself and it did not work out for me twice so I dropped before bid day. All the advice I’m asking for now is what to do. All my freinds are in them and I just feel very excluded and need ways to get involved in campus. Just very sad and disappointed now.

"If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got. " Did you make any changes that could have resulted in a different outcome?

Obviously the chapter saw something in you since they invited you back both years. Second year there were many different members than the year before. If you got the same result with different personalities in the chapter, maybe Greek life is just not for you.

DaffyKD

"Sopmore"?

Sorry was a typo meant Sophmore

*sophomore

composing a reply now and wanted to QFP

Miranda, here is my advice on what to do:

put "sorority" in your rear view mirror. You've had two bites at the apple. You rejected one house twice. You'll likely not get any other chances. We (actives and alumnae) talk to each other, despite all the "rank" or "tier" animosity promoted on other sites. We look out for each other. And your rejection of one house, twice, speaks volumes to all of us. I am sad for that house, particularly. Twice they wanted you to be a sister. Coming from this side, it hurts us too.

I respect your right to reject that house. You had your reasons and that's why you are here, bidless, asking what you can do. There is nothing I can say to change your view of your situation and yourself. I'm very sorry for you, that you gave up the opportunity to discover the meaning of what we alumnae know: membership is for a lifetime. Additionally there is a Panhellenic bond that we talk about frequently here. I have an instant connection with other sorority women, not just with other Thetas. I consider many members of this forum to be my friends (and you guys know who you are!:D).

Dealing with this disappointment, hurt, and rejection is your task now. There are myriad organizations on and off campus that welcome active participants. First things first: give time time, and don't look for a replacement for sorority membership (not sure what that would be, however, or even if there is a replacement) until you've accepted your situation and moved past this stage. You may benefit from some counseling; we all can use life coaches and most people I know do so. I wish you the best.