Letter of Rec, Please?
 

Hello everyone!,

I am going to be a pnm this year and I would love the opportunity to connect with some of you already active members about your sorority experience as well as the possibility of receiving a rec letter to boost my chances of an awesome rush! I have connected with friends of friends, and for a couple of sororities, I have no rec letter and trying my best to have at least one a sorority. I am attending ttu, and there we have axid, adpi, axo, xo, alpha phi, kd, dg, zeta, pi phi, kappa, and tri d. I would appreciate this so much! Inbox me with any questions you have!! This is my last resort so please please pleasee help! Thanks so much for reading!

Friends of friends are not your best bet. Mothers of friends, employers,coaches, teachers, church SS teachers, your parents' friends, your parents' co-workers, sisters/mothers/grandmothers of male friends, etc,etc,etc. are the people you should be contacting. In other words, any female you know who might have attended college. When you find one, ask if she knows anyone in the groups you still need. Greek women know other Greek women.

Hi Lilyy,

if it is Texas Tech, you forgot Kappa Alpha Theta but now I think maybe it isn't Texas Tech so just forget I even said anything - okay?

Are you going to be going through recruitment this coming fall? Or 2018? If it's the former, you have a lot of work to do in a very short period of time. There are some fabulous threads in the recruitment forum that specifically address how to locate alumnae for recommendations. Bear in mind that it's almost August and many people are vacationing now.

GET BUSY!

ETA - it has to be Texas Tech, right?

Thanks for responding! I thought I had put theta, but I'm sorry I didn't! Yeah I'm rushing this fall, and I've been trying to look for women in my circle and I can't find any, and I also don't want to come off creepy for not knowing them and asking them.

Well, you don't know us either!

IFC guy putting in his 2 cents- you'd be surprised to discover sorority connections you don't know about.

Recently one of my good friends from HS made a comment on FB about going with her mother to her mother's college reunion. It turns out her mother is a Chi Omega. TBH, I never would have suspected Mrs. P as being in a sorority.

The GC ladies will tell you, it doesn't hurt to ask anybody and everybody. Send emails to your teachers; include the male teachers because their wives, sisters, cousins, might be sorority women.

Jumping back to IFC lane.

Have you asked neighbors? People on your block? Co-workers of your parents? Parents of your friends? Your parents friends? Former teachers-even as far back as Kindergarten? Even if they are not sorority members, they may know someone who is and would be willing to connect you. Have you posted about needing recs on your FB page? If you attend church, ask the minister or secretary if you might place a message in the church bulletin. Something such as "Lilyy will be attending Texas Tech University this fall and plans on participating in sorority recruitment. She would appreciate any assistance in acquiring recommendations to the following sororities ( and list ALL the sororities). Please contact her ( however you wish to be contacted.)

It's a lot creepier to be asking internet strangers for recs! A stranger will never been able to write the same detailed, qualify rec that someone whom you actually know will be able to write.

Seriously, who have you actually asked?

Have you checked through this entire list:
-your good friends' mothers, grandmothers, and older sisters
-your mom and grandma's good friends
-your neighbors
-your former teachers and coaches
-women from church (ie, Sunday School teachers, your youth minister's wife, your confirmation sponsor, etc)
-women you or your parents work with, women for whom you've babysat

I assume you live in Texas. There are sorority women everywhere!!

And if you find someone who is a member of a group not at TTU, ask her if she knows anyone in these groups. Like I said, Greek women know other Greek women.

In addition to TXDG's suggestions - some NPC sororities accept recommendations from active sisters as well as alumnae. So, talk to your female friends who are already in college and pledged one of the sororities that has a chapter at TTU. Best case, they will be able to write a rec. Worst case, if your friend is in a sorority where actives cannot write recs, she may be able to write a letter of introduction or somesuch - you'll still want to try to secure a rec from an alumna, but your friend's letter will give the chapter some insight into what type of person you are, and it's better than going in with nothing.

For best results, your letters of recommendation need to come from ladies who know you in some way. I have been asked several times by my local alumnae association to write a recommendation for a woman who was going through recruitment. Most of these young ladies wait until the last minute. I find it VERY difficult to write a glowing recommendation for someone I meet for 30-60 minutes. Yes, I have their resume and yes they come across very well, but I don't know their quirks, whether they are putting on a show for me or if this is them for real. I don't know their family background other than what school their parents attended and if they have Greek ties. I have no way to run a background check to know if the PNM was released from Juvenile Hall last year, if she has a drinking problem, what her grades are other than what she has told me. I don't know if she has a 3.9 taking all the basic classes or a 3.9 and has taken 15 AP classes.

When I do write the recommendation, I specifically state it is based on a interview and I have no personal knowledge of this PNM. I'm sure that hurts her during recruitment but as they say, "you have to take what you get." Does not help that many chapter members see my statement and know that no real effort may have gone into getting the needed references. If you only do the minimal work to get in, are you only going to do the minimal work as a member?

DaffyKD