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Ugh... double triple UGH!
Ok... so this pissed me off so bad, and I wana vent cuz it's still bothering me.
I was working our Rush booth in the main academic building last week. This girl who I had class with and have class with again this semester who I thought was so awesome, walks by. She's talking to her friend and says "I hate sororities", loudly. We were really cool in class and I always wore my letters, and it made me so mad that she would generalize like that. Then, 2 of my sisters that have yet to sign their deactivation forms, are hanging out. They're still friends with girls in my chapter, and they're both dating fraternity guys. They are leaving cuz they're sick of the drama... much of what they bring on themselves and on others. I guess they're trying to start their own local sorority, and have colors and such picked out. Thought it was a rumor until... my deactivated big sis that I hate comes in. One of my good friends/sisters overhears "Yeah it'd be cool if you guys did that. We need more organizations on campus, and it'd made Greek week more interesting." Um... sure whatever. I don't think they'll be allowed to start a new sorority, because total on our campus is 45: we have 23, another chapter has 28, and another 15 (everyone graduated ALOT of girls last year). Then they're shit talking MY sorority right by the Panhel Rush booth. I wanted to go over and be like yeah dude go away, talk your shit somewhere else. And here's a fun fact: one of the soon to be deactivated-wanting-to-start-her-own-sorority "sisters" has an AOL screen name with our sorority's name in it. She has the nerve to email everyone and ask to be taken off chapter emails, yet she is STILL using that screen name with OUR sorority name on it. UGH! |
I'd really like to give you some good advice, but I haven't found a way of dealing with rude people effectively, so all I can do is sympathize with you. :(
However...maybe something can be done about these soon-to-be-deactivated members? (Why did they deactive in the first place, anyway?) I'm really tired right now so I can't really come up with any fresh ideas off the top of my head on how to frost their arses, but if I think of anything, I'll let you know. In the meantime, just be super sugary annoyingly polite to them--that way, no one can fault you for being rude back, and they'll just be the ones to look stupid. Which won't look good for their new sorority, either. |
Wow. Do you go to Sweet Valley University? I will sympathize with you as well. Greek life comes with its fair share of drama, but it seems like your school has an excess of greek drama. Achtung gave some good advice. My mother always told me, kill them with kindness (the old cliche, but it works!).
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PM_Mama00 there seems to be several problems going on here. With so many sisters disaffiliating, I suggest that you and your sisters look inside the chapter and figure out ways to strengthen your bonds of sisterhood. There is no question that these people were rude to say such negative things about your beloved sorority and greeklife in general at a Rush booth. Unfortunately, you cannot control what other people think or say. You can only control the way that you react. I don't know what I would have done in your situation. Focus on your sorority and improving it and yourself, and the naysayers won't have any ammunition. Best of luck! :) |
I understand what you're saying about strengthening (spelling?) the bonds of our sisterhood. Our Greek system is so small, that everyone knows everyone's business, so drama is always around. The sisters who are still active do have strong bonds, and the 3 girls that I mentioned did too. My big sis left becuz she wasn't happy anymore. The reason why I don't like her is because after she started acting too good for me, and treating me like crap, other sisters tooks me in and we started hanging out a lot. She got an attitude about it all the time cuz she never really like the sister who became my new friend, mainly because everyone envied her. I guess she just didn't get her way, so her and another sister left. Keep in mind these are sisters who constantly complained about the rules, wanted to do things that are considered hazing (nothing physically or mentally hurtful, but still considered hazing), and when things didn't go their way, they began to separate themselves.
The other two that recently left, decided to because, well, I don't even know. They were sick of people not showing up for things, and one time when they went in place of people, they demanded praise, even tho people said thank you. Then they started an email war between the chapter, which wasn't really cool. Everyone thinks that one left because of the other, but who knows. It's a lil suspicious when she spends like $300 almost every month on Phi Mu stuff. They say they are happy now, and that's fine. When I stayed close to them, I told them that it's cool that they're happy, hopefully everything works out for the better for them. When they started talkin smack and telling me how they burned their letters and everything, I told them that if they want to talk shit, then fine, but don't do it to me because I'm still an active and I love my sorority, no matter what problems we're having. I think the biggest problem is that they weren't even in the chapter for a year. Things get stressful and hectic around Rush, and I kept telling them that the sisterhood gets so much better after that week is over, it always does. They just didn't give it a chance. I mean, what are you gona do when something crappy happens in life? Give up instead of giving it a chance? That's what's great about being in a sorority. Trivial problems teach you how to deal with stuff in the real world. |
I'm so sorry to hear what is happening in your chapter, PM_Mama. :(
I'm not sure what your Panhell's rules are on adding new GLO's, but my college rules stated that another group could not colonize or form until all houses were at quota. It doesn't sound like that is the situation on your campus. So maybe your ex-sisters are just barking up the wrong tree with their idea? If they want to make Greek Week more interesting, it might help if they could get their organization recognized by the campus. It kind of sounds like maybe these girls just want more attention because they weren't in the chapter for a year. :( Keep us updated. I hope that everything works itself out with minimal drama, of course. |
As far as the non-Greek gal making negative comments ... it always amazed me the GDIs (and I don't just mean non-Greeks) who could be friends with Greeks but who still whole-heartedly condemned every single aspect of the Greek system. It's like, "Every Greek woman is a conformist slut ... except for you, of course." Gee, thanks!
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