Why are Greeks mean to prospectives? Lets solve the problem...
 

No this in not to all greeks because the majority of you are fine, but I have noticed with some greeks that when you come up to them and ask them about info on their sorority/fraternity, they turn their noses up as to say they are better than you. No, my self esteem is not in question here but I do notice it and I am sure many nongreeks notice this too. What are your opinions on this. I especially want any nongreek people to speak out on their experiences approaching a member of a greek org. I do know that when you get asked the same question about the same thing it can be pretty irritating, is this one of the reasons greeks? Can prospectives be annoying especially when some of this info is available in the internet in full view of the public? I thought it would be an interesting discussion.

I hope that I have never come off this way to any of my GLO's prospectives. I know that when I was rushing, all of the chapter members were helpful and happy to help. (Or at least, that's how they portrayed themselves).

Sure, prospectives are going to ask inappropriate questions at times, or they might misunderstand something. But it's our responsibility as representatives to inform those people who might become our brothers or sisters. And if they have overstepped their boundaries, there is no reason to be anything but polite when correcting them.

Wondering, I'm happy http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif that most of your experiences have been positive. I can't speak for those members who seemed snobby to you. Remember, greeks are human. Maybe they were just having a bad day, or maybe they had answered a certain question 38 times in a row, etc. This doesn't excuse it, but don't let a few negative experiences deter you in your quest.

I hope this has shed some light on your situation.



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SilverTurtle@greekchat.com
Phi Beta Fraternity
Phi chapter

Hi there,

I have never been 'mean' to a person who is interested. (I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm just saying I have never done it.)

The only thing that bothers me is that sometimes people can be downright rude when they are asking about your org! I know I am not the only one to experience. I have had people interrupt me in the middle of conversation to ask me a question. When people ask 'inappropriate' questions, it doesn't bother me, because usually they are asking because they have no idea that it is 'inappropriate'. Also, questions about basic history/programs that can easily be found on the internet or the bookstore, can be a little disheartening. I would hope that someone who is interested would do some research about my organization before they break out in to questions. (How can they be interested in something they know nothing about?) There is a wealth of information out there that people can access nowadays. I crossed in 97 and there wasn't half as much information out there as there is today.

I've also noticed that interested women on the net are a LOT bolder than interested people I meet while I'm out. I have a lot of respect for women who come up to me in person to ask me a question, because I know that it took some 'guts' to walk up to a woman you don't know and ask about something you know is very dear to her.

I only get annoyed when someone is rude. I generally don't mind when people ask questions because I can talk about Zeta for hours and hours, I just hope people are courteous when they do!

ZetaAce

Just my story...

Me and a member of XYZ sorority was in the same student group together (I didn't know that she was a XYZ at the time though). We had vibed at many meetings and when I saw her and if she saw me around campus we always said wassup to each other. One day, I saw her in the student Union and she had on her sorority jacket (which so happens to be the sorority that I am very interested in). I went up to her and was like "Hey, I didn't know you were a XYZ. Can you give me some info?." She looked at me real hard and said O.K. and asked for my number so that I could be updated on any future community service/ sorority functions. I was, of course, thrilled. It turned out that this girl was the president of the chapter at my school. She had no problem with helping me out a little because we had established a relationship prior to me knowing that she was apart of that sorority. The moral/point to my little story is that you have to understand that these women are just folks like you and me, that it just so happens that she is apart of such and so sorority. They have lives out side of, but not that far from their sororities. Wouldn't you be a bit peeved if every Mary, jane and Sue off the street were running up to you asking - right of the bat- about your sorority (basically, damn YOU). I'm so sure. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

Wondering Why...... Sometimes it may seem like the greeks are being mean but alot of times it is just like you said alot of info is right out there under our noses and some of the most asked questions are readily accessible. If one is truly interested in whichever xyz greek org one will take the time out to do research on their own. It shows sincerity i believe, when you have taken the time to look for the answer to all of your questions yourself. I would have to wonder exactly how much one wants to be apart of a particular greek org. when one knows nothing about it. Also being a prospective myself, I think that alot of us worry to much about things such as pledge processes etc. when really as PROSPECTIVES our biggest focus should be on our G.P.A and our comm service, and if we make it to the point of "pledging" so to speak then, we can start worrying about it and at the same time there are alot of things that are not acccessible to us and those are things that we should not worry about unless we cross!........Then some greeks may come of as mean because alot of us approach them asking them questions without even saying hello or asking their name as if they do not exist as individuals, I am sure some of them just wish that people would want to get to know THEM and not just want to always know about their org. Lastly maybe if someone has come of as rude to you or anyone else maybe they were just having a bad day and maybe it had nothing to with the fact that you were asking about their org. Maybe they just did not want to be bothered at that moment by anyone and if you approached them the next day they might be nicer. I am in know way trying to make excuses for those that are rude just for no reason I am just trying to give people some insight on what they may have just MISTOOK as being rude. I mean there may be someone out there that is rude to prospectives or that thinks they are better for whatever reason and obviously they are going through their own insecurities but for the most part I think it is safe to say that most greeks are not this way. So the next time you or anyone else thinks about approaching a greek weigh out the situation and be friendly and sincere in your approach and if you feel they are being rude give them the benefit of the doubt and by all means try again another day or ask someone else, but what ever you do do not get discouraged in your quest. remember that they were all once prospectives too, so for the most part they know how you feel, and if everything goes your way you will one day be greek and then you will get a chance to know how they feel. MUCH LOVE TO ALL YALL!

OK I have heard a lot the point that basic information is on the internet, but if you are a student that has never ever heard of BGLO and GLO such as myself when i came to school, I frankly would not understand why i would be blasted away if i ask kindly to somebody was they are about. You do your research if you are truly interested in being a member but before that don' t you need to figure out what the whole deal is about from the members. Let's give an example. Everybody knows about Sony, Microsoft Cocacola because they are everywhere, so everybody do know what they are about, yet they are still the one making huge advertisement campaigns during career fairs, they are the one giving you basic information and web adresses etc... Not to say that if you want to work for them you have to be ready and do your own research before the interview and during career fair but they don' t seem to think that they are too big to go over basic information that you could find on the net. I am not trying to raise fire here and I see where you guys are coming from but I hope you also see how someone that was not familiar with greek life could easily be turned off by a rude response. I also know that you guys are human but guess what, the day you became greek you also took the responsibility of representing your fraternity and sorority with or without your letters on your chest. I have seen many of you doing that extremely well but I am not telling you anything new you that the "bad day" thing, or the "bad mood" thing at the end of the day is detrimental to your image. I have seen chapters go through all sorts of problems to keep their chapter alive because people despite their good intentions could not deal with the attitude and therefore did not joing.
Again I am not trying to offend anyone I know you do a great job for the community but let' s see the flip side to the coin.

Have a great day all

the only thing that I can think of that might give a false impression of 'being mean' might be that a lot of information that is asked by prospective (i'm speaking from experience) is secret information. We all have secret stuff that only members know, so when prospectives ask--we can't tell, and that might be misinterpreted as being 'mean.' I HOPE that I've never come across this way, my sorority is always very enthusiastic about rush events and such. Wondering, I hope that if this is something that you are encountering, people being mean to you, that you let them know what you are witnessing. Most of the time, people don't even realize that they are being mean to someone or giving that impression when talking to prospectives. Bringing the subject to our attention, I will be sure to pass that along to some of the colligate members that I keep in touch with. It really is something that should be addressed.

Yes But said: " ...but if you are a student that has never ever heard of BGLO and GLO such as myself when i came to school, I frankly would not understand why i would be blasted away if i ask kindly to somebody was they are about. You do your research if you are truly interested in being a member but before that don't you need to figure out what the whole deal is about from the members. "

There's a very basic solution to this particular issue. On my campus, and many others I'm sure, we held Greek Forums where we gave basic information on all the greeks on campus like where and when the chapters and the organizations were founded, national and chapter projects. We do this specifically for those who know nothing about the greek system. In addition, basic information was given at various times during the year.

I see it like this, if you're interested in a BLGO and let's say the only events you've attended were step shows, and you DON'T know BASIC information, you need some help. I have yet to attend a show where every group stepping did not state the founding date or year, location of founding, number of founders, and/or summarize the organization's goals (NPHC peeps do you feel me?).

Those curious about the greek system and those considering pledging should take advantage of these venues, plain and simple. We don't organize these events for our personal benefit. This is not to say that if you chose not to that I will blow you off or respond to you unkindly. I will, however, strongly suggest you attend out next event.

I'm having a hard time believing that people are this thin-skinned and desire to be greek. If I took to heart every sideways response, every "not-so-nice" comment, every negative thing that has happened or was said to or around me because I'm greek, I'd either be in a mental hospital or 6 feet under. People, it is not that serious.

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Kelli
12-DN-94
SSU c/o 1997

[This message has been edited by 12dn94dst (edited June 14, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by 12dn94dst (edited June 14, 2000).]

Discretion is the key... esp in BGLO. Do your research.

See that' s what I am saying!. Is it Mocha that talked about doing your research? Of course if you are interested in something you have to do the research, that is not the point. The point is that even if someone is asking a question that you deem to be ignorant, there is no point in being rude and answer in a rude manner. Yes you have greek forums, and yes people should take advantage of it but. In ALL occasions you are representing your fraternity or sorority and in all occasions, no matter how ignorant the question may be, you need to learn to respond in an appropriate manner. Not every person who will approach a greek person to ask a question is interested and even if they are IT DOES NOT MATTER. Let' s say a student comes to you and ask you what you are about and you blast him or her off, comes to find out down the line that this same person is a voting member of an organization that allocates funds to student groups, If your brother and/or sister goes to that group to ask for funds in the name of the sorority or fraternity, whether or not you should be considered as individuals will not matter because that same person you blasted off will remember how he or she was treated by a member wearing the same letters and at the end of the day you may not get what you needed. Not only as individual we should ALWAYS be respectful of other people no matter the situation, but in the case of greek organizations, what you do as an individual IS GOING TO AFFECT THE WHOLE group. Now I already see you saying that "Well I can' t babysit every person that goes on asking me stupid questions", and you are right. You can say whatever you want to anybody you want, but there is ALWAYS a way to say things. At the end of the day, THE ATTITUDE THING IS DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR IMAGE. The person you spoke to will have his or her feelings hurt or whatever and will run their mouth about your group and tarnish your image as a sorority or fraternity. Whether or not it is envy or whatever does not matter, the damage is done. If sororities and fraternities are in the business of serving the community, they are still a BUSINESS AND SHOULD BE HANDLED AS SUCH. If you work tommorrow in a company, are you going to blast a customer, a publicist, or anybody that is not in your company and that does not depend on you? I don' t think so. Anyway that was just a though and again I am not rying to offend anybody. Have a blessed day all

I'm sick of this. Yes how we treat people has a negative effect on our image. But so does rejecting people. Every year there are girls somewhere who want to be a XYZ more than life itself. And, for whatever reason, some of these girls get rejected. There are some that will brush it off and try again, but then there are those who felt they were entitled to wear XYZ, and dammit they're going to be one if it kills them and it doesn't matter what they have to do to get those letters. They are the ones who feel there must be something wrong with XYZ because XYZ didn't pick her. They are the ones who will then spend too much energy trying to damage our reputations and credibility. It's my guess this has been happening for as long as any of us have been in existence. But guess what? We're still here and our numbers are still growing. So either the number of people YesBut! suggests who are truly ticked off about this are very few or we're doing something right. You make the call.

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Kelli
12-DN-94
SSU c/o 1997

I agree with 12dn94dst. People have individual perceptions of what being rude is or is not. For many people the decision to talk about BGLO or GLO information is based on the fact that people wish to remain "neutral" until the "time is right." What I mean by this is that most members are aware that they will be having an information, etc. If someone requests information and they tell them to wait or inquire at another time, the person may think it is being rude when in fact, the BGLO member is aware that the person's questions will be answered at a later date (and more appropriately). Additionally, although many of us have been in the same situation, we may have dealt with it differently and feel that others should as well. It is all relative. If I (when an interest in DST) waited until the informational to ask for phone numbers, etc. then I may feel that's what other young ladies should do. It is imperative to understand that some people don't tven show interest (genuinely) they just pump for more and more information. That is bothersome. I say don't be rude but use discretion in giving and asking information.

From the NPC side of things, sometimes members are not ALLOWED under Panhel rules to even speak to prospective members. This isn't rude, it's just done so every sorority has a fair chance to get to know the woman under the same circumstances.

If you feel you were "blown off" by a sorority member, check with the Greek Life office and see when silence is, how strictly it is observed, etc.

YesBut ... there are things that BGLO's have to consider when dealing with any interested perspective that you would not even realize until you are greek. we have to be very careful to protect our chapters. I've told many a perspective to do research and they do research. Most BGLO's do not need to go around informing or trying to educate perspectives about our organizations. We have a long history of service and most perspectives take the initiative to find out what they need to know. If someone is rude to you then maybe it is just their character, don't take it personally, therefore in all fairness please heed what has been said here. if you have an interest to learn about a particular organization ultilize your resources, if its a friend, family, book, the net etc. there is a wealth of appropriate info out there for perspectives. If you can't find the info you're looking for it may be it is not for you to know. and when you do ask please make sure you are being considerate of where and when and who you are questioning about their organization, sometimes timing is everything.

[This message has been edited by PositivelyAKA (edited June 15, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by PositivelyAKA (edited June 15, 2000).]