Raising Children
 

1.How would you raise your children differently than your parents raised you?

2.How would you raise your children the same?

3.If you're already a parent, if you had a second chance, would you raise them differently or the same? Did you raise your children they your parents way they raised you?

Everything exactly the same... my parents did great!

My parents did a great job too, despite the way I turned out, lol. However, I think my parents sheltered me too much. I will definately be harder on my children. Also, if I can help it, I will keep my children as FAR from the public school system in the early grades as I can! You can be a perfect parent, but if outside influences are bad enough at a vulnerable age, your children still can be damaged.

My parents overall did a good job.

Things I would do different:

Stay out of the public school system if possible
Try not to have to be a single parent
Maybe try to have kids closer together - 5 yrs between me and my sister
Be a little more strict on dating

Things I would do the same

Not make drinking a taboo, just say when it's ok and when it's not.
Give a curfew based on what they are doing, not just a preset one.
Not give an allowance, but give reasonable amount of money for what they are doing.
Be open minded.
Have my kids know they can tell me anything and I will not freak out.
Teach them that there is no use getting mad about something that's already been done. Save it for something you can change.
Let them make choices and deal with the consequences if there are some.

My parents sheltered me, too. Consider the following:

• I got "the talk" when I was 7. It consisted of my mother's giving me a book called When God Chose Man. So complete was this instruction that I did not learn until much later that you have to take your clothes off to have sex.
• I didn't know what a condom was until I finally got up the nerve to ask one of my friends in 9th grade.
• I have always had really bad, heavy, and irregular periods. I asked to go on the Pill for that reason when I was 14. My mother's reply was, "No. You're not going to have sex. I forbid it."
• My parents are raising my little brother to believe that only gay people get AIDS.

Refusing to talk about something doesn't make it go away.

When he was five, my friend's little brother wandered into the living room where we were watching TV with his mother. He asked, "Mommy, what's a blow job?" She told him. Nothing racy, just fact. He said, "Oh, ok. Thank you," turned around, and wandered out.

If you don't treat something like it's forbidden, then children have a much healthier respect for it. You don't give them nasty compound guilt issues.

I'm going to explain everything to my children from Day 1. Not sit them down, not make a deal out of it, just make it clear that these are normal, acceptable topics of conversation.

Good points about my parents' child-rearing technique to follow in a later post.

Differently:
-More strict with the dating
-Never push my child to do something that she hates just because you *think* she'll learn something valuable
-Not have my kids grow up in a single parent family
-Keep them in close contact with extended family

Same:
-Letting them learn the value of a dollar.
-Not being the "cool parent" and letting the high school kids drink at my house. "There is a time and a place for everything. And it's called college."
-Pretty much everything else. My mom and dad did a good job for having no clue what was going on! (I'm the oldest :) )