Trash-talking?
 

Yup, me again, with another problem. Haha. Okay, I've just been filled in by one of my sisters that some things have been said about me before I joined the sorority. Now, I'm not all sure who said what, and I'm not feeling real "sisterly." I don't want to quit, because I WANT to prove myself to this girls, show them what I am, and maybe (that's a big maybe) they'll be glad they gave me a bid and that I accepted. But yet, at the same time, I'm ready to quit, because I don't want to be around girls I can't trust. Why do bad things always happen to me?!?!?!

Can you be a little more specific? Maybe then we can give you better advice.

Why did the girl even bring up that things were said before you joined the house? If they hated you or were ashamed of you they never would have given you a bid.
I say screw the girl who even mentioned anything!!!! That was rude of her.

I don't know what was said and it doesn't even sound like you know what was said so here's my two cents...This is why membership selection is confidential. You should never have been clued into negative things that may or may not have been said about you while you were rushing. If you are enjoying the sisterhood as a whole and were having a good time before this came up, don't let it eat away at you. Continue to get to know the girls and have fun, regardless of what a few people think.

I agree with Leslie, I know we are to NEVER mention what is talked about during hash (bid selection) to ANY of the guys from that class. I know a few guys that had bad opinions about potential AM's at this time, and then they ended up becoming good friends. That's definitely not cool!

DivaStar, I think most people can identify to a degree with your situation. Let's face it, we all have our detractors as well as our
cheerleaders. You would not have been invited to share the sisterhood if there was real "credibility" to what anyone implied about you. (Unless of course your check SAVED the entire sorority from destruction!)

Sometimes there isn't a way around jealousy, other times we might need to do a little self check and we can USUALLY discover where the problem lies.
You CAN change things, but it takes effort. Depending on WHAT was implied. People cry foul when it involves areas like these.
If it involved something like another girl's boyfriend, just remember no matter how "hot", beautiful, sexy, or how much you make him "hurt", he's STILL another girl's boyfriend so just walk away.
If it involves drinking-either be the DD or have ONE in your hand and skip the Jello shots. Drink Coke or 7-Up. Staying sober doesn't mean you're not fun to be around. (Why don't people "get" this?)
Pick-ups-Next exchange or visit to a bar, lose the guys and just hang with the sisters.
Skanky-Check your attire and avoid looking like a video dancer on MTV.
Rude-Start every sentence with a POSITIVE comment.
Backstabber-Cut all gossip, and remember the old adage-If you can't say something nice...

It's not a matter of "But that's not ME." It's more a matter being the BEST you can be or at least showing another side of yourself.

Don't let her play mind games with you either.

The same thing happened to me...a couple of my sisters who didn't know me very well said a few things to some guys in a certain fraternity, and one of the guys told me, which is how I found out. Turns out my sisters had me confused with another girl--but still, it wasn't nice, and it kind of hurt especially because these girls were supposed to be my sisters. But hopefully they know me a little bit better by now!

I don't know what your case is, but it may well be a misunderstanding like mine was.

Don't worry about it... it sounds like this information has reached you through the grapevine and it could have been seriously misconstrued by the time you heard it. Realize that sometimes people say things they don't mean, and that sometimes they change their minds when they really get to know someone. Get to know these girls before you form opinions about whether you can trust them, and let them see your good sides.

My advice on how to handle this would be to go to the Standards Chair. In KD (and I'm sure the other houses), it is a *major* no-no to leak anything that was said during memebership selection. The sister who leaked the comment (which I feel is the big fault here) can be dealt with through the Standards Board for violating policy and you can kind of rid yourself of worrying about getting to the bottom of things.

I've got a little story for you.

Way back in '93 some members of my chapter were going through the stacks of paper left behind by the old rush chair. One girl happened across her very own rush evaluation and was horrified to find out that some very negative things had been said about her. Fortunately she had a great sense of humor and was able to turn the whole thing into a chapter wide joke.

P.S. - Did I mention she was our chapter President at the time.

I wouldn't worry too much about what someone said about you before you became a member. You're in now. Perhaps they judged you hastily... happens all the time. Perhaps you've changed and grown since first coming to campus... even more common.

My concern is, why would your sister bring that up?