Stupid Pickup Lines
 

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.

Excuse me I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me tonight.

If you were a buger I would pick you first.

You: Can I borrow a quarter?
She: why? ( if she says sure or something else get her to ask you why)
You: so I can call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. ( have something quick to say afterwards)

Are your pants from outer space? 'cause your butt is out of this world.

Are you a parking ticket? 'cause you got fine-fine-fine written all over ya.

I can't wait until tomorrow. She replys why not. You say cause you look better everyday.

Are you tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all day!

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together!

I must be in heaven cause I've seen an angel.

Re: Stupid Pickup Lines
 

Ha!! This one is funny!

If I told you had a perfect body, would God be jealous that you washed your pants in Windex?

Hi, thought i would tell you some of the ones i've seen, my friend sent me this email of Austin Power's pick up lines, some of them are interesting............


> > >>>>>Austin Powers Pick-Up lines


1. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.
2. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)
Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
3. Nice legs...what time do they open?
4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking
out my package.
5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
7. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big
Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
9. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest
woman on earth tonight.
10. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
11. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
12. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
13. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
14. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
15. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
16. Are those real?
17. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
18. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
19. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
20. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
21. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
22. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
23. F@#% me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?
24. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
25. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
26. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I
walk by again?
27. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
28. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute."
29. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
30. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
31. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
32. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
33. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?
34. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
35. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
36. Do you wash your pants in Windex because I can seemyself in them.
37. I lost my puppy, can you help

I think #2, 33, 29 are a crack up.....

nice shoes
 

is that a keg in your back pocket? 'cause i wanna tap that ass.

How YOU doin?

Lemme check your tag...made in the USA???! i was sure you were made in Heaven. or made for me

Did it hurt?

Where did you hide your angel wings? (or halo)

Can you get back in? To Heaven. Do they know you're gone?

Get outta my dreams and into my bed.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Should I walk by again?

Those jeans look good on you. But they'd look better crumpled up in the corner of my bedroom in the morning.

Would you like to get some breakfast?

F#@* me if i'm wrong, but aren't you're gonna kiss me tonight?

Wanna study for that math midterm at my place or yours?
*we can add you and me, minus clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

Your mother must've been a thief too, 'cause you've stolen my heart.

Better call the ambulance, cause i know you're gonna break my heart.

you may not...but you're the only one i want.

*how do you like your eggs: covered, smothered, chunked, or fertalized?

Fu#% me if I'm wrong, but is your name Zelda?

You're a tall drink of water, and I'm thirsty.

Go up to her and take her hand facing up. use your finger to draw an imaginary line across it, and say, "This is the river."
Point to one side, "This is the puppy, on this side. He really really has to get to the other side."

Ask her how the puppy can cross. If she says anything, the puppy has to die. (*this puppy can't swim, glubglub*.) When she asks, "How?" Give her a sincere look and say, "I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand."


Your dad must've been retarded, cause yer so special.

thats a nice shirt you're wearing..i bet it'd look even better in a ball on my floor tomorrow morning..

are you from tennessee? cuz you're the only ten I see

i've lost my teddy bear..will you cuddle w/me instead?

Nice shoes... wanna f%$?