Crushed by Rush
 

I have wanted to be in a sorority since forever. I chose to go to a large state school because of the Greek system. Many women in my family are Greek and lots of family friends as well and they all encouraged me, and told me I would be rushed really hard. I looked forward to Rush for months before school started. I came to school with such high hopes for it all...
I went through fall rush and I thought everything was going really well, but then I was suddenly dropped by my top three houses--I was devestated. I decided not to fill out my pref. card. I still had really strong houses, but I just wasn't happy knowing that I would be settling for something other than my first choice. My rho chi was very sympathetic and advised me to sign up for informal rush. I did. Very few houses contacted me and they were not ones that I clicked with. I did not receive bids from any of them that were decent. My top three from formal did not contact me either.
I'm not sure why these houses did not want me. I don't want to sound like a snob or anything, but I have a 4.0, I'm easy to get along with, I dress well and I'm cute. I cannot see any clear reasons why they would drop me...
As much as I try to tell myself that I don't want to be in a sorority any more, I really do...I have recs. from all kinds of people available to me...should I contact the houses I am interested in? Or does that make me seem desperate? If you are dropped once, does that mean you are dropped forever?
What are houses looking for? I have been told my entire life that I am the sorority type...I know I'm not a bad person. If all the qualifications I have aren't good enough, then what does someone need to get into a house?
I would really appreciate any replies. I'm finding it very, very difficult to get over not being Greek. It really meant a lot to me.
Thanks.

My best advice for you is this. Do you know any fellow freshman who are currently new initiates for the houses that you want? If you'll have friends on the inside next year they can help put in a good word for you when you try again. I just say this because most of the girls I know who got their top choice the second time around had a bit of an inside track sophomore year. Also, don't take rush too personally. These people only meet you for 10-15 minutes at a time which is barely enough to get a decent impression. Sometimes people just fall through the cracks of an imperfect system. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

What exactly is "decent"? Perhaps you are overlooking your perfect fit in search for a "name"? If you go through recruitment again, do it with your heart. I have a feeling your home is right in front of you, but you aren't seeing it. Good luck!
Heidi

HeidiHo, you beat me to the punch. If you want to be miserable, look at nothing but a sorority's image. If you want to be happy, look at the humans in the sorority.

Give the houses that did show interest in you another look - you may be very surprised at what you find.

Hey all, well I agree with all three ladies, first which ever house u orginally wanted go out for them again, and if u have any friends who are in them definelty see if they can put in a word for you. As for the decent part, a name isn't everything, sometimes you find a group that doesn't have the"So called name" but they are a good group, and still deserve credit, and a glance. They all have good people, and do good things. So definetly give everyone a chance.
~GoodLuck~
One and Much Love
DGPhoney~

Clueless ~ I definitely think that you should rush again in the fall. When I went through rush my freshman year, a girl on my floor had her heart set on a particular sorority and she suicided them but they cut her. This particular sorority was at quota so they weren't recruiting any new members during winter rush so she waited until the next fall, went through rush again and got a bid from her first choice house. Competition can be very fierce during rush and you never know, you may have come very, very close to getting asked back. Unfortunately though, only so many people can be asked back to each round. I am sure that the sisters in those houses that you "clicked" with will remember you and will most likely be impressed that you chose to wait a year rather than pledge another house. Sorry such a long post and best of luck!

You say that many women in your family are greek. So that would mean you are maybe a legacy. Do you have these groups at your school? Approach them with this information. Being a legacy carries a little clout.

But, I do agree with 33 and the rest in saying that if you go with a name and a reputation, then you may end up on the outside looking in. And if all it took to get into a sorority was a 4.0, a hip wardrobe and being cute, well, half of campus would be in them, now wouldn't they?

Thak you all for your replies! I really appreciate the advice. And don't get me wrong about what I meant by 'decent' house--I meant some chapters that are unhoused on campus, or on probation because their grades are really low. I don't know enough about sororities here to know what the 'name' houses even are. Also, I just didn't understand on what basis I was being dropped after 15 minute parites at rush--not that I am perfect or anything...Well thanks very much for responding...I think I am going to wait and go through Rush again in the fall...I still think being Greek would be an awesome experience in college!

If you will e mail me privately I may be able to help you understand why you may have been dropped although those women wanted you to return.