What Do You Notice
 

Today while at my workshop, we talked about diversity and what do we typically notice about a person at a first encounter.

Now the presenter cited the TOP 9 things we notice based upon a book written by a person (forget title and author -- had tuned out at this point) and I was amazed at some of the things in terms of the order of the ranking.

QUESTION: What do you think are the 9 things we notice about a person at a first encounter?

I will post the answers later this week. I will be in workshops for the rest of the week so by Saturday I will shoot you all the answers.

Re: What Do You Notice
 

Oh Soror CT4, this may be kinda hard for me because I don't think that I really pay attention to that. But let me give it a try.

1. Facial expression
2. Tone of voice
3. Eye contact (this is a BIGGIE for me...I NEED good eye contact because it lets me know if the person is sincere and "for real" and it lets THEM know that I'M "for real").
4. Body language
5. What they're wearing
6. Smile (including the condition and color of their teeth) :eek:
7. Hair style
8. Speech
9. Mannerisms (tics, how they sit, how they laugh, etc)

Now these are in no particular order, but these are pretty much the 9 things that I notice about a person when I first meet them.

Wow, I never had to think about this before but here goes, in no particular order

1. Basic Physical Appearance i.e. Height, Weight, Build, Hair, etc.
2. Clothing & Accessories: It really does say a lot about you and the accessories tend to give away more than the clothes
3. Personality type: Extroverted vs. Introverted
4. Speech: Accent, Tone of Voice, Use of Language
5. Scent: Perfume, Cologne, or BO
6. Smile: Condition & Color, like korkscru
7. Manners
8. Social Interaction Skills: the way that you interact with me and others around you
9. Body Language

Here's what I notice:

1. Race- how can we not notice it.

2. Clothing- this includes accessories and shoes.

3. Hair- I have a habit of checking people's hairstyles out.

4. How they talk- Do they have an accent, are they using broken english, are they loud and obnoxious, or timid and soft-spoken.

5. How they carry themselves- how they walk, behave, do they carry themselves as if they are "better" than everyone else, do they appear shy... you get the picture.

6. Their acquaintances- who you hang around says a lot about who you are (to a certain extent).

7. How other people react to that person- hey someone else may know something I don't.

8. How do they react towards me? Do they smile, roll their eyes, glance away really fast, look intimidated, heck, do they even notice me (just kidding).

9. I can't think of another one at this point, but I'm sure something will pop up in my head.

1. Race/Sex
2. Their eyes...are they intense or vacant? Do they focus on you, or wander?
3. All other things physical (style of dress, overall appearance)
4. What they do with their hands
5. Their walk
6. Their mannerisms
7. All other body language
8. Smile (or lack thereof)
9. Their word choice, wit, charm, and sencerity (or lack thereof on all counts).

All of these things to me indicate a person's education, their persona, their level of confidence, and whether or not they are threatened by me.

I will post the results tomorrow afternoon. Keep them coming.

1.Physical-Race, height, sex, etc.

2.Eye contact-staring? looking down? avoiding?

3.Appearance-clothes, shoes, accessories, etc.

4.Voice

5.Who they surround themselves with.

6.How many people they surround themselves with.

7.Hygiene

8.Facial expression

9.Personality-Shy vs. Outgoing, etc.

In no particular order:

1) Physique

2) Style/Dress

3) Smile

4) Speech/Voice

5) Race/Color/Creed

6) Hair

7) the way a person walks

8) Shy/not shy

9) Sex

1. teeth
2. facial features
3. attire
4. race/ethnicity
5. mannerism
6. voice
7. their intial facial expression (angry, sad, happy, etc.)
8. eye contact
9. hair

I apologize for not having the author's name where I received the info but I will e-mail the presenter and get the title of the book if anyone is interested.

RESULTS in ORDER:

1. SKIN COLOR
2. Gender
3. Age
4. Appearance
5. Facial Expression
6. Eye Contact
7. Movement
8. Personal Space (how do they define their personal space with you)
9. Touch (Do they let you touch them?)

There was no number 10. I truly believe that the first 3 are like automatic -- bam bam bam-- and then the last 6 we take our time gauging.

How did your lists compare with the research?

I'm not surprised about 1 and 2.

Personally for me the top of those on the list are Race and Sex
Facial Expressions and Eye Contact are important.
But here is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves.

Weak handshake!
There is nothing I cant stand more than a weak handshake. A weak handshake to me shows A nonaggressive attitude or a lack of true genuine interest. If I shake your hand and you do not look me in the face and your grip is weak.,...I loose a certain amount of respect for you. Maybe that is not good but hey it is the truth!

Mine too. . .The first time I experienced it was in college with a former employer. It really THREW me when he did it because I was like WTF. He was Caucasian and I really think it was a part of his personality because I asked some of my coworkers who were Caucasian as well. Ever since then when I get a weak handshake, I really have to think twice about that person.

CrimsonTide4. I'm curious to know how is touching (DO they let you touch them?) perceived?

There's a supervisor at my job who is very "touchy feely." She would stand so close to you that if you stuck your tongue out it would touch her face. I have a problem with people touching me, putting their hands in my locks, etc. I am a firm believer of one must be invited into my personal space. It may sound crazy but that's how I am.

I was thinking about this on the way home about TOUCH and PERSONAL SPACE.

What Soror DSMMI12 mentioned about WEAK HANDSHAKES corresponds with touch. I think people who give weak handshakes are not touchy feely people. There could be more to why they give weak handshakes but that is an underlying one.

In terms of PERSONAL SPACE, I remember in a college sociology class learning that there are cultural differences about acceptable personal space. For instance Black folks are one way and white people are another. It breaks down further for Latinos, Asians, etc.

Personal space is cultural but I also believe it is personal.

I know this might seem random but when I am dancing, I do not look my partner in the face. I was dancing with a guy a couple of weeks ago and he actually asked me why was I not looking @ him. Partly it was because his breath stank:eek: and partly becuase I was not feeling him (CORNBALL) and then again I feel that when you look in someone's eyes in such close quarters, there is a certain intimacy that is involved there.