Formal Recruitment Suicide???
 

When I went through the sorority formal recruitment at my university, I knew by the "Preference" party where I wanted to be, and that this house was the sisterhood I wanted. However, my Rho Chi (rush advisor) told our rush group to be sure and put down both our first and second choice for a sorority. (If you've never been through formal rush, to "suicide" is to put only one choice down). But the way I viewed it was that if I didn't get a bid from my house, I didn't want to be in a sorority, so I "suicided". Of course it worked out well, and I was given a bid. But I felt like if I put down another house, and was given a bid for them, but not my house, I would feel like I had settled for 2nd best.

Well last year, a girl that went through really wanted us, but she put down another group as her second choice...well we didn't bid on her, but they did and she accepted. Yet she told me last month (she has been a sister of her sorority for A YEAR already) that she still wished she could've been one of us and that she liked her sorority, but liked us better. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif This really made me think - should rush advisors be telling these girls not to suicide? I know they still are because my little sister has been a Rho Chi for the past 2 years and she tells them not to suicide. Does anyone out there have stories about their choice to (or not to) suicide? And was it the right choice for you? I'd like some input so that I can maybe discuss this further with Panhell. Thanks!

I think it all depends on how bad the rushee wants to be in the GLO. If she feels she can't put her whole into another sorority then she probably should just write down one org.

On my campus you are penalized for suicide bidding; the PX's make a point of this too. A couple of years ago a girl really wanted to join DPhiE, and we wanted her too. She suicided bidded and therefore was not allowed to join (which screwed us over too). But I think it's important to know that it all comes down to bids matching. It has nothing to do with whether or not you only put down one choice. If the sorority you want wants you then you're in.

Siobhan

I have to say that I really feel for the girl who accepted a bid from her #2 choice and to this day, still pines for her #1 choice. Sometimes the difference between #1 and #2 is not so wide, while at other times the gap in a rushee's mind between #1 and #2 is extremely vast. In some ways, Formal Panhellenic Rush really annoys me that as a rushee, you have to return to EVERY single sorority that wants to see you. I think sure, go check all of them out for one time only, but after that, you should be able to return to where you want to as a rushee. In my opinion, the way that Rush stands today, it is just a way for weak chapters to acquire extra bodies, and just seems really unfair to rushees and their happiness at university!

So many people seem to preach, "Give this sorority a chance". Gee, isn't it funny how "easy" it is for others to preach this line when they themselves got their #1 choice.

This is what I hate about formal rush, it not only can work against the sororities, but it can work against the girls as well, and that is not something we want. In a way I feel for the girl, but in another, I don't. She didn't have to accept the bid. She could have waited and attended a informal rush put on by the sorority she wanted and maybe have been picked up. On my campus, when formal rush is over, anyone who didn't get a bid, or didn't accept a bid can be picked up by a sorority so many days after formal rush is over. When formal rush comes around, we make it a point that there is no pressure here. If you don't get the sorority you want, you DON'T have to accept any bid. We do tend to look down on "suicides," but I think it's because they want the girl to be picked up by somebody, and if she doesn't get a bid, she will be disappointed, However, I think that if you really have only one sorority that you would consider joining, then by all means put that one down and no other. I think that it really shows how dedicated you are from the get go.



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Mikki Gates
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What's a PX?

ZetaAce

PX are the letters that the Rho Chi (rush adviser) wears during formal recruitment. This keeps the prospectives from knowing what sorority she belongs to. They are also referred to as "Pixies".

Thanks! Now that prompts another question? Why would the PX want to hide what sorority they are in? Is it so that people don't think they are biased or what?

ZetaAce

The point of having PX's is to keep things fair. Like for our school, PX's are chosen in the spring semester (because formal rush is in the fall). The week after spring semester ends, the PX must take all letters and greek paraphanallia off her car, bookbag, etc. They cannot talk with their sisters on campus (even during summer classes) and especially not when fall semester starts up again. If they are caught speaking to a sister on campus then not only are they kicked out of the PX's, but the sorority gets fined. During formal rush, 2 PX's are assigned per group. The PX's are not from the same soro and they are in charge of helping answer prospectives questions, getting them to the right parties, and making sure there are no rush infractions during the party (for example, a rushee is not allowed to bring anything out of a party - we got fined once because we had confetti on the floor and some of it was on a rushee's shoe...of course the PX's were from rival sororities so instead of just wiping it off they had to go and write us up!) But not all PX's are like this - last semester we (and every other group) used candles (we don't have houses so all of our events occur on campus where it is against the rules to have lit candles) during a ceremony, so the PX just asked that we blow them out and no report was filed.

Anyway, the PX is your mentor during the rush process. She portrays true love for being greek, and the rushees look to her for guidance. They can't wear their letters because the rushees may feel compelled to join that sorority. Of course the opposite may apply - if the PX isn't very nice or doing her job correctly, that may bias the rushee against her group. Hope this helps!

Good topic!!!

I didn’t suicide, I put down 3 choices. My first choice was not only the one I wanted most, but the one I thought I was most likely to get a bid from. My second choice was a lot like my first choice, only larger. The 3rd choice was a really cool group of girls, but I didn’t feel like I would ever fit in with them – I’d never be pretty or well-dressed or popular enough. Any way, I remember waiting to get picked up at my dorm and thinking “oh $h!t, I hope it’s my 1st choice and not my second!” which it was.

I think I could have been happy in any of these groups, knowing they wanted me. But not everyone experiences that. We had a lot of girls in our chapter who had suicided, just because we were a lot different than the other houses and they would have felt hideously uncomfortable anywhere else.

If you are a sophomore or above, you’ve been around all the orgs for a while and know that there is only one you want and anything else would be a horrible comedown, then I would say suiciding probably is not an altogether bad thing.

But if you’re a 1st semester freshman and your whole view is based on what you’ve seen in formal rush, I would not suicide. A lot of formal rush is “show” and the one with the best show might not be the one that’s right for you.

Siobhan – I can’t believe they would penalize the girls and not let them join if they suicide. I mean it’s not AGAINST NPC rules, just “strongly discouraged.”

And Zeta Ace – re Rho Chi’s - yes that is so no one thinks they’re biased. Their whole purpose is to help the rushee do what is right for her (which is not always what might help their sorority).

Its not like this on our campus - if you put down QQQ as your first choice and JJJ as your second, and JJJ bids on you (but not QQQ) then you are obliged to wait one year before going to any rush parties (formal or informal) because you have to sign a form when you put your choices down that if one of them picks you, you are obliged to them. I know some colleges do this after signing a bid card, but not us. Once you put those 2 choices down, you are obliged to one of them if they choose you. Stupid, huh? Guess I should have clarified this! Sorry - but thanks for your input!

Formal rush for sororities never fails to amaze me...I can't imagine going through it, or even choosing a candidate (pledge) for my sorority based on this process. It just seems so impersonal! I understand that the matched-bid system works, and that's great...but it's not a mutual choice 100% of the time, is it?

http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/eek.gif Perhaps I'm opening a big can of worms here...however I do know that fraternity rush is not so structured, and yet it works for fraternities. Can someone explain the difference in rush protocols and procedures?

I have learned a lot on this board, that's for sure! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

The whole NPC rush process seems a little bit harsh to me, but that's probably cause I don't know much about it. I have heard people say the same thing about the NPHC procedures!

I'm guessing that you don't have a lot of volunteers to be PX's? I couldn't imagine being on campus and not being able to talk to my sorors! I'd probably go nuts http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Having 'neutral' rush advisors does seem like the smart way to do things though now that it has been explained. Thanks!!

ZetaAce

equeen -

Actually it really is 100% mutual choice - if the potential member chooses sorority XXX and sorority XXX chooses the potential member, that's all there is to it. When a chapter member tells a Rushee "I don't know why you didn't get a bid from our chapter, you were on our #1 list!" she's lying. If the rushee had been on their list, she would have gotten a bid from that chapter. Not only that, only the membership advisor and membership chair make up those lists and they are kept strictly confidential. The general chapter has no idea who was on the #1, #2 or #3 lists.

Not every girl gets their first choice, it's true. And many will be disappointed but I strongly encourage any young woman that has received a bid from her 2nd or 3rd choice to go ahead and accept the bid. If it really doesn't work out she can drop and wait a year to Rush again. If she doesn't accept the bid, she still has to wait a year. At least if she accepts the bid, she has an opportunity to really find out what that chapter is about. More often than not, the rushee finds out that her 2nd or 3rd choice really was the right chapter for her and is completely happy.

I'm living proof of that and make no effort to hide the fact that ZTA was my 3rd choice. I know now that had I gotten my first or second choices I would have not been happy because I was choosing them because I wanted to be like them. ZTA was more like me already and welcomed me as warmly as if I had listed them as #1. I was on their #1 list - seems they knew what was best for me from the start!

An intential single preference ('suicide') is a risky tactic. Please check the thread "can you outsmart rush" for my thoughts on that matter.

Take care,
Barbara

Hi ZetaAce - actually, on my campus anyway, people fight tooth and nail to be a PX. They don't have to come to rush practices during the summer (or 2 weeks straight before fall classes begin); they don't have to buy the tee shirts or other uniform (including a long dress for preference - which a lot of sororities require you pay for one that is made like the other sisters!); and they have a reason NOT to talk to their sisters that they may not get along with. Its like this in all GLO's that I know about on campus. One of our sisters (immature as it was) turned in her pin because another sister was chosen over her as PX! Stupid huh? I wouldn't want to do it because the amount of stress I would have to endure not being able to talk to my sisters. I do not like NPC rush - I think the first 2 rounds are VERY fake (especially when you consider that MANY sororities require their girls to smear vaseline on their teeth to keep them smiling all night!) All prospectives must go to all parties the first night, and the second night (because the sororities can only cut them if they don't have grades) so all you hear all night is "Where are you from? What's your major? Do you like the dorm you're in?" I much prefer the BGLO intake process that I've heard about from a couple of my friends. My AKA girlfriend said that she really felt important to them, and they to her versus a rushee who told me one night to "Cut the crap and tell me about all the wild parties!" I think there could be a better way on my campus (PLEASE remember that this is only what I know from MY campus so I can't speak for others!) I haven't checked out the rush forum yet so I'll move there to post on the topic...I'm still learning my way around! But I am glad you're learning from others - ME TOO! That's what this forum should be about! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/cool.gif