This is funny :)
 

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding
and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when
I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it,
I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box
when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot
and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed
her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.
The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain
approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can
see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told
you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped
you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole
the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was
a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.

:D that is friggin hilarious

Thats a good one but I do not think it would really work! But it is too funny! :D

ROTFLMAO!!!
 

That ws sooo funny! Awesome joke!!!!!! :D

Ronnie

P.S. do you know anymore?????

hahahaha

:D hahahahahahahaha!:D

hmmmm.... maybe I should try that!

LOL, that was funny!

:D

Re: ROTFLMAO!!!
 

I'll look for some more :) Here's one to hold you over until then...

When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Have a great day :)

COMPLETELY off topic
 

Quote:

Filled with angels, but one hell of a sorority!

That slogan is too cute!!!

Re: COMPLETELY off topic
 

Thanks :D

I've heard the joke before, but it's still funny the second go-around

another one....this is bad!
 

The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he
kept in the hen house out in the back of the parish rectory.

He had a cock rooster and about ten hens. One Saturday night
the cock rooster was missing and the priest suspected that this was the time the cock fights occurred in the village. So he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.

At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"
All the men stood up.

"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"

All the women stood up.

"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?" Half the women stood up.

"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?"

All the alter boys stood up.

SigmaChiCard
 

that was funny, but awfully true. It's a sad thing that young Catholic boys have been seducing their priests all over the world.

A young couple are on their way to Las Vegas to get married.

Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she had a confession to make. The reason that they had not been intimate was because she was very flat-chested. If he wished to cancel the wedding, it would be okay with her.

The guy thought about it for a while and said he did not mind if she was flat, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage.

Several miles down the road, the guy turned to the girl and said that he also wanted to make a confession. He said that below his waist he was just like a baby, and if the girl wished to cancel tile wedding, it'd be fine by him.

The girl thought about it for a while and said that she did not mind and she also believed there were other things far more important in a marriage than sex. Both were happy that they'd been honest with each other.

They went on to Vegas and got married. On the wedding night the girl took off her clothes and she was as flat as a washboard. Finally, the guy took off his clothes and one look at the guy's naked body made the girl faint and fall to the floor.

After she came to, the guy asked,
'I told you before we got married, why did you still faint?'

The girl said,
'You told me it was just like a baby.'

The guy replied,
'Yes, eight pounds and 21 inches.'

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough.

So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife/cousin did not want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem.

The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (big firework), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Alabamian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.'

So the couple drove across the state border into Georgia to get a second opinion.

The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama.

The doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.

He held the can up to his ear and began to count '1, 2, 3, 4, 5...' at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.