Things To Never Say To A Cop...
 

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Re: Things To Never Say To A Cop...
 

I would love to say this!!

The one that me and my friends always joke about saying is (in your best drunk voice) "But Occifer, it says it's a Traveller"

If you look on the plastic bottles of any Pucker product they say "traveller" across the top.

I don't think this one would go over well :)

Re: Things To Never Say To A Cop...
 

What I would give to be able to say that! :D

Way cute... my next internship is with the Kentucky State Police. May favorite thing not to say to a cops is:
The Cop: "Son, step out of the vehicle."
The Guy:" No, too drunk you get in."

OMG, I died laughing at that. That one is too funny!!!!

Hahaha!!

Another one: "Occifer, I'm sotally tober!"

I'll bet you that ticket that I can beat your cop car.

But occifer! I know my sepacity.

Re: Things To Never Say To A Cop...
 

OHHHHH MY!! I'm not a cop, I'm a public service librarian, but I swear I'm going to deck the next person who says that to me. Yes, sir, from research I did in GRADUATE SCHOOL when I was getting my MASTER OF LIBRARY AND INFORMATION SCIENCE, I can tell you that you probably pay somewhere between 5 and 15 cents per year toward my salary. Another 15-20 cents goes towards the county library system, so quit your b$%^ &ing, and NO, you don't get to do whatever you want!!! Your 15-20 cents gets you 50 books at a time, 365 hours of free internet access, and reference questions answered for free, what more do you want?

Sorry, that's a bone of contention with me.

Back to the topic at hand. My favorite thing not to say to a police officer:

Officer: Son, do you know how fast you were going?
Guy: Sorry, I don't, the little needle stops moving at 130.

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Guy: sure, to sell me a ticket to the policemen's ball.

I'm sure you all know the next line....