Dating during "Rush"
 

Hi, i should probably keep this "hush hush" but it's an honest question, and i feel i can trust in you all to help me out. Ok here it goes. I am going to go through fall recruitment this coming fall and after visiting the campus last week, i seem to have a little spark goin on with a guy there. I don't think that this situation would be half as bad as it may be except for that he is the recruitment chair (or something along those lines) of a fraternity there. So, he is in a position of power there (somewhat) and i don't want this to influence in an either good or bad way to the sororities' choices on bidding. Should i keep everything quiet about us until the end of rush or should i be honest when asked about it, but just avoid the question otherwise? Please give me some help girls....i need all that i can get...
~Me~

Seldom do fraternity guys have any influence on sororities when it comes to giving out bids, and vice versa. Well, at least not at my school.

We are told not to bring up boys during recruitment. Could you imagine if this conversation took place? (and it did a few years ago in my chapter):
Recruiter: So, do you have a boyfriend?
PNM: Yes I do.
Recruitoer: Does he go to school here? What's his name?
PNM: Yeah, he goes to school here. His name is Billy Bob.
Recruiter: Wait a minute....Billy Bob? But, that's my boyfriend! (starts sobbing)
PNM: Uh-oh...looks like I'm not getting into this sorority.

So, as you can see, boys are a no-no subject. Most girls will not bring it up. And, it's not a subject that as a PNM I would bring up. I'd be more interested in what the chapter does and their sisterhood. I'll admit, a few houses asked if I had a high school sweetheart that I was still dating. When I answered yes, a girl from XYZ said, "Oh wow! Well, most people who are still dating their sweethearts when they come to college won't make it past November!" :eek: I dropped that house on the first day. And, she was wrong...we made it until March. :D

Like ZTAngel said, sororities are discouraged from talking about the "B's" (Boys, Booze, Bars, Bank Accounts). If, however, you are asked about it, there really is no reason to lie.

Yay! I'm happy. I'm glad that it's not an issue thanks girls for your help :-) you're the best

That really happened last year at my uni! :eek: I heard it was tres uncomfortable.

A True Story
 

One of my sisters and a pledge (We called them that back then.) were hanging out talking about high school. "I went here. Where did you go?" That sort of thing.
The pledge says, "You went to___. I dated a guy from___."
Sister, "Oh who?"
Pledge, "Lou Ser" ;)
Sister, "When did you date Lou Ser?"
Pledge, "My junior year which was his senior year."
Sister, "I knew it! I knew that he was cheating on me!" :eek:

True story. I thought that the pledge was going to die. That sister thought that it was funny. :)

Since its a fraternity guy, it may not be a problem.

When I rushed, I'd been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. One house (a very high-profile one) started grilling me about who I was going to take to football games (my guy was in band) and how would he feel about it if I had dates, etc. They didn't want to take a girl that they couldn't count on as eligible.

Yes, I brought him up. In terms of "wow, its so hot. my boyfriend is at band camp this week and it must be so hard to practice in this heat all day!" and thats when they started talking to me like that. I shouldn't have had to feel like having a steady boyfriend would hurt me in rush.

Ok heres my two pennys:

Dont mention it

When I rushed I was dating this guy who went to my high school who also happened to be VERY active in his fraternity....(this was 2 years ago)
WELL....
I guess I had mentioned it to the wrong people during rush and he was like geesh all these girls keep asking me all about you..
and i was like uhhhh i didnt mean for it to be like that at all...
and he didnt really mind at all..but he said that it kinda got annoying when girls he didnt even know would be like hey why dont u bring ur girlfriend out with us and we can all plan something...he said it was like a super annoying way to try to rush a girl...
whatever anyways we ended up breaking up very early into my phi program and alot of messy stuff happened making some of his brothers talk to some of my new sisters about me and stuff and it just wasnt fun at all...
well of course my sisters took my side...but at the same time it was like ok enough already...
some of the older sisters still tease me about him..but that is soooo long and over with...
but i know that the girls always asking him about me kinda annoyed him...
and that was like the begginning of the end..
i think he liked having a non greek girlfriend for a while... he wasnt all to happy when i decided to rush as i rememeber it..but whatever its all done with .. :)

SO yeah dont mention it..unless they ask and even then try to avoid details as much as possible... change the subject or something i dunno...

PLUS...they should be wanting to get to know YOU...not who you are seeing and stuff like that

BUT THIS IS JUST MY Opinion :)

I'm going to be honest.

Do not mention it! Better yet, don't hang out at the house if you DO really start dating him!

At my school, the girls who start hanging out at the fraternity houses straight out of high school are sort of looked down upon. A girl will say (oh, that girl has been at the Phi Kap house all summer...). I know it sounds mean, but it's true. Also, if you hang out there, the girls will scope you out, so you will have to walk on eggshells all the time.

Here's another problem. Let's say his fraternity house has mostly AAA sorority members that hang out there, and a couple of ZZZ sorority members. The ZZZ group might go back to their group and say "We should probably let her go since she has been hanging out with AAA all summer, and will probably go them..." Even if that is not true!!!!!! It can be perceived that way!

Yet another problem. If you don't know him well, he could be a total manwhore and you wouldn't know it. Then people might look at you and say "She dates that manwhore guy in XX".

I know this post sounds negative, but I am just trying to realistically present possible scenarios. I have seen everything listed actually happen during rush!

Let us know how it goes.

LMAO...I'm so picturing someone saying that during selection. I almost fell out of my chair now, I can't imagine when we're being all serious:D

One girl coming through rush bragged about how she had sex the night before with "Josh" from XYZ house.
Of course he was the boyfriend of a girl we knew...
I don't think that you would ever do something quite so tacky as that, but it's better not to bring it up.

I agree with everyone not to bring it up yourself. If you are asked about who you're dating (even though members are told not to do this during rush, I know that at least at my college it does happen because some people are very snobby and elitist) you should be honest about it. If a sorority is going to cut you because of who you're dating, you don't want to be a part of it, anyway!

hee hee...
I was asked the same question when I was a freshman... Mr. GammaPhiBabe and I have now been married for three years. :)

OK, the manwhore comments about killed me..I am laughing so hard!

As for your question Tara, it's nobody's business but yours who you date. Mums the word :)