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-   -   Advice for the poor guy (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=17050)

TexasAGD 04-15-2002 03:22 PM

Advice for the poor guy
 
I have a friend who wants to join this particular fraternity, and not any other one. But, he does not look or fit the fraternity type like everyone else. He rushed the first semester and didnt get a bid with the rest of his friends. I asked the other guys why they didnt offer the bid to him, and they said he looks too dorky and will probably not get another bid. Now, is it really right to judge on looks, even though some prefer only athletes and good looking guys? I think there is more to a fraternity than looks. I bet that if he was a legacy, there would be no problem or hell will break loose from nationals. He is going to rush again this next semester and I dont want him to get his hopes up.

PenguinTrax 04-15-2002 03:50 PM

I would ask him his reasons for only going after that *one* fraternity. His reasons could be as shallow as their reason for not extending him a bid.

He should Rush again, but I think he should avoid this one chapter - they are obviously just going to disappoint him again. He should keep his options, and his mind, open to the other chapters on campus. If he does, he is sure to find the kind of brotherhood of which he is worthy.

Dionysus 04-15-2002 04:31 PM

No, it is not right to judge by looks, but unfortunately LOTS of people do.

I think it will be easier to change your friend's mind about joining that fraternity, than to get the WHOLE fraternity to change their mind about him. Superficiality is infested in our society, it is possible that he may get rejected from another fraterity for the same reason. Maybe you can persuade him to dress a little better.

Even if he does get a bid from them, would they even treat him right? Since, he was once rejected.

Tom Earp 04-15-2002 04:50 PM

PTrax, while I at one time was young and dood looking:) We all change as we mature!:(

The ugly duckling became a beautiful Swan!

We had some Dorky Guys in teh Local when I first started it and walla they became some of the best Officers of All!

Have him look around and get to know some guys from other Houses. Remember Stork was a DTX, Animal House!

SAEGuy was full of piss and viniger for SAE but found out he did not fit in! He Had The Ideals of SAE but not the right Chapter!

Do not let him Fluonder as many times the Best and Brightest are Diamonds in the Rough!

33girl 04-15-2002 09:08 PM

I agree with what everyone else has said - he needs to open up his mind to the other groups. It sounds like he's trying to fit into a house which is what he wants to be, instead of what he is. That never works. In a house where the brothers want him around and support him, he will probably blossom!

hawaiiagd 04-16-2002 05:48 AM

That's really sad that he'd be denied membership from the one fraternity because of his looks... but his decision to pursue only one fraternity certainly won't help him go greek...

I agree with the rest.... try to encourage him to look at all the fraternities on campus... he could be missing a better match....

Maybe you can also help him get to know more of the greeks on campus... might help some of these guys look past his exterior to the interior...and give him a chance... he obviously has some great qualities that make you consider him a friend :)

Loyally,
Mai Ly


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