Question about a younger sister
 

Hi! I have a question that I hope you can help me with. My youngest daughter is a Freshman this Fall and plans to go through Recruitment. My oldest daughter is in a sorority at the same University. I am worried that as my youngest (I'll call her Jane) goes through Recruitment, actives in other houses will assume that she wants to be in the Sorority her sister is in (I'll call her Susie). Jane and Susie adore each other, but are very different. The house that Jane likes best might not be the house her sister is in. I want her to be able to go where where she fits best. Is there anything that she can do or say during Recruitment that will assure the other houses that she is open-minded and doesn't necessarily just want to follow her sister? When she registered for Recruitment, she had to list where she was a Legacy to....so other houses will definitely know.

My younger sister (4 years younger than me) went through the same thing. She did join the same organization as me. I was upset for her (although she never told me she was upset) that she didn't have more choices for pref round. I am not saying I wanted her to join another group but I wanted her to have choices to compare and pick the best one for her. She says it all worked for her. I would just tell Jane to go with her heart. I know several younger sisters who did not join their sisters' organization. And make sure older sister Susie knows to let Jane do her own thing. No matter what they already have a bond that cannot be broken. (not trying to sound cheesy but it is true.)

Thanks
 

Thanks so much for the response! Both sisters are completely fine being in different houses. I just don't want Jane's options to be limited because other houses write her off as the sibling of a certain active. Should she tell her Rho Chi? Should she mention it during conversations? (That might cause her to shoot herself in the foot)

Well, her Rho Chi isn't supposed to report anything back to her or any sorority, but if Jane wants to just word vomit it out with her that might help.

If it gets brought up in conversation, she could maybe say something along the lines of "Susie and I are super close, but it makes our parents laugh sometimes because we're so different." As far as should Jane be the one to bring it up...that's hard to say.

Awwww…The trial of the "sitting sister" legacy. I am going to try to sweep around this issue without getting into membership selection. (But your older daughter should be able to tell you what her chapter's policies are on sitting sisters) Most chapters consider the "sitting sister" legacy the strongest kind of legacy. (Think about it….do you want to be "the" sister that calls out lil sis PNM during chapter vote) I know from my experience the proper place for this issue to be addressed is in the respective letters of recommendations. For example, "Although Jane has a sitting sister at ABC, I feel it is very important that you realize that Jane really wants to explore all the chapters at U of Awesome and should be given the upmost consideration of DEF despite her legacy connection." It might not even hurt if Jane addressed a similar email to the VP of recruitment of each chapter that said the same thing. With that said, I would not be surprised if a PNM with that background took hard cuts first round.

I think it depends on the school and the culture of greek life. Some chapters will compete with legacy chapters if they really want the girl. Other chapters will roll over and cut the girl assuming she is going to her legacy chapter.

Thanks again!
 

"Although Jane has a sitting sister at ABC, I feel it is very important that you realize that Jane really wants to explore all the chapters at U of Awesome and should be given the upmost consideration of DEF despite her legacy connection." It might not even hurt if Jane addressed a similar email to the VP of recruitment of each chapter that said the same thing. This sounds like a good option! I didn't know a PNM could write to VP's of Recruitment. It wouldn't be considered brown-nosing?

Is it something that Susie could do?

That is the perfect statement for alumnae to include on their recommendation form, but I would hesitate to have Jane email the VP of recruitment for each chapter. It could be a slippery slope. It might be better accepted if sister did it and it would be even better if sister had friends/acquaintances in all the other chapters and could tell them directly or via email.

I went through recruitment a year after my sister. I made a lot of mistakes as a PNM. I asked other groups if they knew my sister in AOII. Apparently, that sounds like I want to be an AOII, too. I was left with only AOII at pref. I didn't feel any connection to my recruiters, but I was excited to accept my bid. There are things that I could have done differently, but it all worked out for the best. I love my chapter and couldn't be happier how things turned out.

I joined my older sister's sorority (she was a senior at the time) but my little sister (2 years younger) chose not to. It was the toughest decision in her life up to that point and she didn't tell me until pref (but I had an idea from my mom). However, she made the best choice for HER and she made SURE the other sorority knew she was putting them first.

I agree emailing the VP of recruitment could be a "bit" risky, but the alternative could be being released. In today's etiquette-void world, VP of Recruitments have been contacted about much more bizarre and irrelevant stuff than this.

If someone chooses to write using this wording, please check spelling: the word / spelling is "utmost," not "upmost."

Or as Rosie the Robot Maid says it, the "most-ut." :D

Thank you so much for your help! Ironically, you all helped me when my oldest daughter went through Recruitment and I was naive to the process. This time around, I knew where to go to get my questions answered and I appreciate it!