Background Check
 

Is it wrong to do a background check on a potential husband/wife? If you found something that bothered you would you confront your mate or simply leave the relationship?

NO!!! IT ISN"T WRONG TO DO A BACKGROUND CHECK
 

It is better to find out "NOW" than "LATER". If you are truly in love with this individual I think it is worth working it out. I think I would stay in the relationship if the results from the background check comes back "ok". Hey, you would need to know who and what you are getting yourself into. Marriage is a lifelong committment.;)

hmm...loaded question.

on the one hand, i would like to know if my man has a disturbing past...

but on the other hand, it must be something he really wants to move forward from and leave in the past and could be the reason why he would neglect to tell me about it...

I will agree with you as well MeezDiscreet:rolleyes:

Hi! I saw this thread when I clicked on View New Posts and wanted to respond...Something to consider for those who don't already know..

Each state determines what type of "criminal history" is released and what it takes to get the info. For example, Florida is an open records state where a lot of info is easily accessible, I'm told. In Georgia, felony convictions can be released, but for the majority of criminal history info, you may need to get a release from the person you want the info on...unless you want to go check each agency's log books or court dockets..I guess private investigators have their own methods but can be time consuming and expensive. Also, more and more states have Sex Offender information on their websites..but you have to be careful in making sure that the name on the website is actually the person you know.

States do not give out other state's criminal history because of the differing criminal history dissemination laws. Example, in Georgia, the criminal history may say "Multi-State Offender", but won't tell you what other states or federal agencies. In some cases, like certain employment or licensing, FBI record checks are required so you would find out.

Something else to consider..Unfortunately, people don't always give their true names when being arrested so namesearches may yield the wrong person or show that your subject has never been arrested. In my job, we frequently have people say that "I've never been arrested, but someone is using my name, SSN, etc.". Sometimes it is the person's relative.

As for me, if something was bothering me, I would rather know now. Thankfully, I've known my hubby and his family since I was a teen.

Whatever you decide, I hope that everything works out for you the way you want.:)

Thanks for the insights AGDLynn!!
 

You're welcome!
 

I didn't want to seem like I was "butting in", but I just wanted to let people know that getting a background check on someone is a llooootttt more difficult in the real world than in the movies.

I onced posted a reply on a "professional" oriented website when someone asked about not telling the truth about their own criminal history..boy, did I get "yelled at"....some people felt it was okay to lie..they would take their chances that the employer would never actually do the background check. :eek:

Yep, I'd do a Background check before marrying a person..Just like how I believe in pre-marital counseling and genetic counseling before marriage.

If I found out something about him that I thought would prove detrimental/dangerous to myself or my family, he would have to be removed from my life.

if he gave me reason to believe that he was not being on the up and up w/ me, yes i would, but if we had been together for years and nothing had "emerged" from his past, i would probably let dead dogs lie...