Suggesting Recruitment to a PNM
 

I found out recently that my sister in law's youngest sister is going away to a school that no one else in our small town is going to be attending. She's looking forward to spreading her wings, but a little scared about going five hours away, without knowing a soul. I asked if her sister had ever considered sorority recruitment. I mentioned the similarities between her campus and mine (part of the same state system), the fact that the chapters have dorm floors making it a more affordable option than she might think it would be, and that if even if she doesn't receive or accept a bid, it's a great way of putting yourself out there and meeting people. It was a really good discussion between SIL and I, and she said she would definitely mention it to her little sister.
So, I'll probably be seeing both SIL and little sister this weekend. Do you think I should mention recruitment directly to the sister, or should I just let nature take its course? She'd be a great asset to any chapter she joined, but I really don't want to be known as "that crazy sorority lady". Thoughts?

I think you're only that crazy sorority lady if you are 50 years old and wearing letter shirts and a sticker on your windshield. I would definitely bring it up. It doesn't have to be a hard sell - just a little helpful information about how your experience helped you. If she shows interest you can answer her questions in an environment where she feels comfortable. I know a lot of PNMs have "stupid" questions that they don't want to ask of their peers because they think they should know already. (For example, a PNM I am helping asked me if she should register for all 3 recruitments. I was like, huh? And she pulled up the Greek Life website on her phone and read off that there are 3 sorority councils at her school - NPC, NPHC, and MCGC. She has no idea what those things are, so by how it was worded she thought she had to register for all 3.)

I would bring it up organically. Say, "SISTER and I were talking about how similiar your school is to mine." Share an example and then launch into how you found your home away from home in Greek Life, etc., and then tell her about your experience and tell her that if she's interested in sorority life, you think she would be a great candidate and you'd be glad to help her prepare. After that, she can decide.

I wouldn't let nature take its course, especially if it's a school where if you don't jump in as a freshman your chances significantly decrease. But I think bringing it up as irishpipes suggested is a great idea. You don't need to cram it down her throat, but if it is a school where she's at a real advantage to rush right away, explaining that to her would be the kind thing to do. How many girls show up at Alabama or Ole Miss, don't know any better and then are kicking themselves later because they didn't go through when they had the chance? If it's not that competitive, mentioning it and explaining why you liked it might be enough, and then she can handle it on her own time frame.

I have already written three recs. for girls who will be rushing as sophomores, who had no idea that they should have rushed as freshmen. I would say something to her and if you know that at the college she will be attending recs. can be a big help, offer to help her find recs.

AHEMMM!!!

Crazy sorority lady here! :D

Thanks for the responses. I'm sure the subject of college will come up when I see her, and I will mention recruitment to her. I have some knowledge of the campus, and while plenty of sophomores get bids, why miss out on a whole year of fun and sisterhood? Shortly after I spoke to my sister in law, I looked up the school's Greek life page, and getting recs shouldn't be a problem for most of the groups. We have alumnae of three of them in our town, and I have friends who are alumnae of the other sororities.

Then it's OK if you're 60 with the shirt and the sticker?
All riiiiiight!! :D

It might actually carry more weight from you, since you're the cool aunt and mom is just....mom.

What about if you're almost 70?????

Great suggestion from adpiucf. The only thing I would add is this: be careful about wording any "great candidate" comment. Alas, it's sometimes easy for a PNM to misinterpret and think/feel that "you" (generic) are saying she will get a bid to her dream sorority or to your sorority. We know we can't be sure of that. Being encouraging and helpful is the goal, I think -- not leaving her thinking anything's a sure thing.

Best wishes to her and to you.