Disaffiliation
 

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if i wanted a rude response i would have asked my chapter

QFP

What exactly do you want opinions about? I couldn't quite figure it out from your post.

So, when you talked with your chapter adviser about all this, what did she tell you? When you appealed your bill to your chapter's board (whatever you may callthis entity), how did that go? And when you contacted your province/regional collegiate officer, what did she advise you to do?

There is no such thing as disaffiliation from your chapter unless you have transferred schools and transferred into another chapter. You can resign your membership, meaning you will no longer be a sister.

It sounds like you are very unhappy with your membership, so I would suggest that you submit a very brief letter of resignation to the chapter leadership, signed and dated. Make sure to return your sorority badge and any other sorority memorabilia, shirts, etc., to the sorority, as you will no longer be a member and are not entitled to own or wear letters.

If you have genuinely overpaid and are not getting anywhere with the officers regarding having the amounts credited, talk to the chapter adviser. You should have an exact accounting of what you paid and what you believe you overpaid.

If you are so miserable and you think they are so awful I think you should resign. NO need to take up space that could be offered to someone who would be happy to be there.

>>You already missed the boat on this one.

Seriously, though, do what you feel is best for you. It sounds like you have a lot of "reasons". We can't tell you what to do. Talk to your parents, a friend, a therapist.

I call shenanigans. Too many recent new GC members with similar problems (and we are still in springbreak season)

No, I totally understand that you have to pay for fun events to happen. But when girls are calling each other stupid sluts in the open and giving our sorority a bad name, you can't help but be embarassed by it.

Absolutely. You can also be empowered to call them out on their bad behavior in a sober and appropriate setting, and/or report them to standards and ask that the chapter exec board add a workshop about standards and respect in the chapter total education calendar.

Perspective: collegiates (with some exceptions, of course) do not generally think of "lifetime membership". (another caveat: I'm talking NPC only, since that's what I am/what I know).

The OP does not have the ability, insight, or interest to understand what those of us in the alumnae world have experienced and shared re: membership, and panhellenic relationships. She's all about the here and now. That's fine. I get it. So my opinion, that the OP asked for: RESIGN. Walk away. Be finished.

And don't ever say one negative word about that sorority or any other, for that matter. You quit. That's the period at the end of the sentence. It wasn't for you. Okay? Fine. Move along, nothing to see here.

adpiucf I am 24 hours away from reclaiming the ability to be annoyed. This is pushing it, I know, I know.

so close... so close...

Since we aren't naming names - there are some NPC groups or chapters of groups that an allow you to go on leave for one semester. This was designed for women studying abroad but has also been used for women that travel for an internship or have had a sudden change and money problems. You might ask your standards board about this. Not every group (or even every chapter of that group) allows this.

P.S. Lots of people have "hard" majors.

Your inability to take criticism is no doubt one of the problems.

I've seen this with many collegians. They shut themselves off from their sorority because of their personal lives (it could be anything, really, from true unforeseen circumstances to someone looking at them cross-eyed), and then start nitpicking at the sorority as being the real source of their problems. And they stop going to social events, put in the bare minimum with a scowl on their faces and a "don't talk to me attitude," and then get angry that no one is calling them or trying to be their friend. They say that their chapter has changed, and they no longer want to be a part of it (but "I still really love what XYZ stands for.").

On GC, a lot of people try to encourage members to stick it out and make an effort when they are unhappy. But if you are making yourself so miserable that you've poisoned yourself against your own sorority, you are not doing anyone a favor by sticking around. What is the point of going inactive until you graduate if you hate your sorority so much?

In my chapter, a truly unforeseen financial hardship or medical emergency would grant a person a school year or semester of financial inactivity. This was granted on a case by case basis, and this was policy about 15 years ago. After that period of inactivity (the member did not come to meetings, attend socials, pay dues, etc.), the member had to return to the chapter (or, if she was graduating, she would go alumna and attend our Jewel Degree alumnae ceremony). If she did not, then she had to cancel her membership.

We always say you get out what you put in. If you are only putting in a bad attitude, you're going to get nothing. In OP's case, just cancel your membership. If you're living in your car because you don't want to go home to a bad environment, take that dues money and move into an apartment with some roommates. Your chapter doesn't know your situation and they really can't help you as individuals (and you don't seem to want to let them because you hate them). But many sororities offer scholarships, and my own chapter has emergency financial grants for collegians and alumnae in financial distress (they can't be used to pay dues, but they help pay for medical or living expenses in a true emergency). I'd worry about your personal situation right now and forget about your sorority.

Also, OP, what type of advice did you expect coming on a message board called Greek Chat? Do you think we are a bunch of disillusioned members or people who love our organizations and have stuck with them through thick and thin? I think you have a lot going on right now, and you can't see the forest for the trees. Stop lashing out at everyone as the source of your unhappiness and work on yourself. The world is not out to get you, so get over yourself and get the help you need and eliminate the bad distractions in your life. You're now an adult so start acting like one and take responsibility for your decisions.