Worth Going Through Informal as a Soph after getting dropped?
 

Hi all! I will be a sophomore this year at ABC U on the West coast. Rush is a very competitive process at our school, we have less than ten houses that take maybe 250-300 girls out of 600 girls who rush.

I went in freshman year extremely excited and open minded. I have siblings who are Greek at different schools, friends who are Greek, and they gave me their best advice and tips--mainly to go in and give each house a chance. Unfortunately for me, I was dropped and the rest of the quarter really went downhill for me. Seeing all my dormmates get bigs & littles, go to their events, and bond with their sisters was really, really hard and lonely.

This year, there are some invite-only informal recruitment events and a sweet friend of mine nominated me to go. I don't think I can go through the feelings of being rejected and dropped by every house again, and informal rush is really competitive. And unfortunately, sophomores at my school rarely get into sororities during formal rush in the spring (most of the sororities flat out don't accept sophomores and transfers). I am wondering if I could get some insight or advice on whether or not I should go through with it, because this is my almost last chance.
Thanks :)

If you do not go to informal recruitment, you have a 100% chance of not getting a bid.

This could very well be your last chance.

We don't know you. We don't know your school (though some who are familiar with West Coast recruitment might). We don't know what your chances are.

However, we know that going through informal recruitment will give you at least a possibility of getting a bid. Not going through informal recruitment takes your chances down to zero.

You decide.

This is not how recruitment works. I'm sorry you were dropped, but even on the most competitive campuses (and they aren't on the west coast) chapters don't "take" less than half of PNMs. Read a little on the recruitment forum and you'll understand the process a little better. Informal may be a more laid back atmosphere for you, but depending on the chapter, they may have very few open spots to go around. That being said, you'll never get a bid if you don't try.

Just try....
 

This is very true. Just keep an open mind and see if maybe one of your friends in a sorority can look at your outfit for the event.

Good luck.

I usually don't obsess over things, but I am starting to feel like it is my Greekchat mission in life to stop the myth that there is a predetermined number of available spots in formal recruitment. Between the moms and PNMs who perpetuate this falsity, it is driving me crazy.

You have indicated this is likely your last chance, and the only thing you have to lose is a wounded ego. You are going to experience a lot of rejection in your life. Go through the process, or you'll be left wondering "what if?" forever.

You say things went "downhill" for you after you were released from recruitment last year. It's ok to feel disappointed or sad if things don't work out, but if your grades are suffering, or you don't feel as social as you used to feel after the rejection of being released from recruitment, it could be part of a bigger problem that needs to be addressed. If that is the case, please do seek out the counseling services on your campus. You don't need to keep feeling terrible, and they can help you if that is the case. Life is going to hand you a lot of rejection, and it is important to learn how to bounce back from it and to not be afraid to keep trying.

Good luck. I really think you should give the sororities a shot so you can know with full confidence you gave 100% toward trying it out.

Thanks for the advice everyone! And AOII, I actually talked to the woman in charge of Greek life on campus, so those numbers are accurate. At my school, about 50% of the girls who rushed ended up in a sorority. It certainly wasn't pre-set because a lot of the houses gave more bids than they were supposed to, but this year an extremely large number of girls rushed. Granted, maybe 5-10% of girls dropped.

I know life is about rejection and I have faced rejection, but it really affected me personally and I can't let anything affect my grades this semester.

That being said, I do want to give it one more try. I think I will go for it. Thanks for the advice everyone :)

I assure you, no matter what school you are at, that close to 50% of the women rushing dropped, if only 50% ended up with bids. Unless you are at IU or Nebraska (which you aren't), very few women get no invitations.

This just doesn't sound right. Instead of having us guess and speculate, how about just telling us what school you are talking about?? We are really shooting in the dark without knowing that. Our advice is not going to help much without at least a little more information.

On my campus, Greek life really small and only a few houses do informal so it would be very obvious who I was.

Only 3 houses are doing informal recruitment, 2 of which are invite-only. Hopefully I get an invite to the other house!

You don't necessarily have to id your campus. If you want to join a sorority, get yourself a fresh attitude, a hot new outfit and go for it girl! You said a sweet friend had "nominated" you..is she a sorority member? If yes, that's a great start. Maybe you two can have a coffee and she can give you a little coaching to help you get your head back in the game before you attend an informal event. Ask her!

I can't think of any schools on the West Coast where sophomores and transfers are at a severe disadvantage in recruitment. Sometimes women who are a little older, closer to 21, actually have an advantage over the new freshmen. They can be more mature, better at relating to the women they meet because they have shared experiences and are past the "I just moved into my dorm room and can't wait to PARRRTY!!!" phase. Informal is a great way for women who may get lost in the formal recruitment process to shine.

You can do this! It may not work out, but it just might. Either way you'll be better off for the experience of dusting yourself off and knowing you can get through that disappointment and move on to your next great adventure, whatever that may be.

Thanks so much for your encouraging words! Yes, one of my friends nominated me and I plan on visiting her at the start of the school year and talking with her.

At my school, it's sad but true that sophs/transfers are at a disadvantage. What upsets me the most is that some houses don't even give these girls a chance, unless you have great connections. However, every year are some success stories with upperclassmen, so I am hoping I will be one of them.

OK, so if you do go forward, what is going to make this rush different for you? What can you point out to them to show that you are the new & improved Sunrain?

I mean this sincerely, not trying to be pissy or confrontational! I assume that you put your best foot forward last time around. If you do the same thing this time, you are not likely to get a bid.

building on thetalady, now is a good time to have a heart to heart with yourself about what's really going on. Regardless of what the Greek Life office said, it is highly irregular to be cut from every chapter, so something must be going on. Do you say goofy things to be funny that fall with a thud? Do you dress goofy, badly, inappropriately for the event? Do you have bad breath? Do you like to have obsessive conversations about things that other people think are weird and/or creepy? While we here on Greekchat like to argue about how nice and friendly we should be with rushees, you will do yourself no good by blowing sunshine up your own skirt.

My next piece of advice is while you read through threads here, if you find a GCer who seems to be from your area, you might send that person the whole story in a private message. I can suggest a few very helpful women in Southern California, but I'm useless on Central or Northern California. But I'm sure there are some women here who would be glad to provide you some discreet advice.

/eta and looking through the list of campuses in California, I'm wondering if your school has a colony coming on this year. This would be another opportunity for you to consider. They are not gimmes and they are more work than the more established chapters, but it may provide you the opportunity you seek IF you are at a school that has a colony coming. The process is too slow to hope for that to be an option if one isn't already in the works.