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Foul Blind Dates you'll never forget...Let's hear them.
Y'all ever have a blind date so foul that you'll never forget that night/day/evening? Why was it foul as hell? Was dude/girl ugly as hell? Was he/she just foul/trife? What was the reason? This could be a funny ass thread LOL.
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Don't have one off the top of my head but I just want to commend the use of the word "foul." My BFF and I used to say it all the time and it makes me miss her.
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Yes, oh dear God yes. I'd just been through a very, very bad break-up, and was rather depressed. I met a guy on our campus "chat" program (this was in the mid 90's) and after talking to him a few weeks, realized that we had some friends in common. I worked at a campus computer lab, so I was always on our chat program at work. I was so naive. I had been in the broken relationship for a long time, and didn't realize that this wasn't the small town I grew up in. I didn't really bother to ask our friends in common about him. But that's before there was a lot out there about internet creeps, so live and learn.
Anyway I had him come over to my apartment (where I lived alone), and boy was that a mistake. He had told me that he was about 5'8'' and 200 lbs. I had been dating with someone who was 6'2'' and about 225, so I figured he would look nice. I'm not into superficiality, and lord knows I'm not a size 2, but I've always been active, and at the time I was pretty athletic. He was, no kidding about 400 lbs. He was so large that when he sat on my sofa it literally broke a spring. I felt bad for him, but he was not my type at all. I tried to be nice, and we watched a movie and hung out a bit, but I knew this wasn't at all going to work. I tried to let him down gently, but he began to stalk me. He would be outside my apartment building some times in the parking lot. Again, in the mid-90's there weren't the stalking laws there were today. I had my bff come and stay with me for a week, I got so freaked out. He was kind of a computer genius, and he called a couple of times, and once the caller ID actually read "Help Me". I swear, I called the phone company who said this was impossible, blah blah blah, but it happened. I think I slept with a knife under my mattress for a month. I finally woke up one night, a month or so after my bff went back to the dorm, and heard someone in my apartment. It was very late, around 3 am, and I heard the door open and shut, and me, still being a naive idiot, was bad about forgetting to lock the door. Luckily whoever it was, didn't do anything to me, but I couldn't manage to sleep there for a long time. I crashed a lot in the dorm then. Lessons were definitely learned. I called the cops, but again, nothing could be done. |
Dude told me on the phone his ex-girlfriend used to tell him he looked like Brad Pitt. (This was pre-internet dating, and a friend of a friend set us up).
He was greasy, smelly (smoke, BO and bad breath), had terrible acne and was dull. I didn't have the heart to tell him his ex-girlfriend lied. I cut the date off early. |
He looked like a 20-year old Keebler elf -- 5'5", red hair, pug nose, pimples. First and last blind date for me.
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Oh my goodness, why didn't I leap all over this when I first posted?
Background: our sorority had a blind date party every semester. The pledges had to find dates for all the sisters and the pledges' bigs found dates for their littles. This isn't as hard as it sounds as boyfriends/semi-boyfriends/friends were permitted and sisters would help you out with it a lot. :) The first semester I was an active, my love life was (to put it mildly) a clusterf#$k and I had no idea who I would want to be my date. I was close friends with one of the pledges and trusted that she would get me someone I liked. She was also being helped out by one of my pledge sisters. We held the party at our house and the dates came up the stairs into the living room. Everyone's date was announced, and when I heard "33girl, your date is Jeff Wagner" (name changed to protect the innocent) I thought, "well, that sounds like a cute guy's name." Wow, was I wrong. Coke bottle bottom glasses - check. Greasy, unwashed hair - check. High water polyester pants - check. Eagle pendant on fake gold chain - check. I said hi to him, chugged my drink, and went out to the kitchen to get another. Meanwhile my pledge sister is telling me what a nice guy he is and yadda yadda...so I thought, OK, appearances aren't everything, I'll give this a go. I tried my HARDEST to have a conversation with this guy. I kept asking all kinds of questions, and all I got were one-word answers. He didn't try to initiate any conversation at all or seem to even want to be there. After a while, I just said screw it, and decided to talk to all the other people at the party that I knew. About an hour later, my pledge sister told me "Jeff left!" I hadn't even noticed. And as a side note, both my pledge sister and the pledge I mentioned were later terminated. The moral of the story is: don't mess up 33girl's blind date. |
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This was when I was still at CCS. Another student who I happened to be cool with wanted to set me up with her friend. At that time, I was interviewing for jobs and showing my portfolio, while at the same time going to school. So, I wasn't really looking for anyone.
This was around 2004/early 2005. She had a nice, attractive voice on the phone, conversation was cool, etc. Anyway, long story short, we scheduled a time to meet up (dinner and a movie) (I got there first). She was talking to me on her cell in the parking lot so I could tell her where I was waiting. I saw a plus sized woman talking on her cell, and of course in my mind I'm thinking "lawd have mercy, please don't let this be her". Then she grinned, and waved.:( This woman probably had more "Chins" than a Hong Kong phone book. |
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