Released: Surviving as a GDI at UGA
 

So you may have seen my thread about being released from UGA's FR, and obviously greek life is huge on this campus. It's not even that the whole campus is greek; the whole culture is just different (for the most part) for non-greeks. As a freshman on this campus I have definitely struggled with with feeling left out as I watch all my hallmates dressing up and flocking to their socials, new member meetings, pledge retreats, meeting up with boys at the fraternity houses, etc. I've gotten to some meetings for UGA's philanthropies like some people suggested in my previous thread (closed atm) but I still don't have much of a social life. I guess I just kind of wanted to vent on how hard is it not having the automatic group of friends and events to fill up your schedule that come with sorority membership.

(((hugs))) to you. It will get better; give time time. Don't wallow in it! One thing that works for me is to set a timer and say "I'm going to feel bad for X# of minutes". Seriously, it works, because I usually can't wallow for that long. What it also does is keep your mind from returning over and over to the hurt place (kind of like when your tongue keeps finding the tooth in your mouth that hurts). If I find my mind going to the hurt place, I say to myself "it's not time to think about that" and let go of the thought. It really works, it just takes practice.

And (before your other thread went off the rails), there was some good advice in there regarding what to do/how to get involved during your freshman year. You've got a lot of class and you are very brave. Please don't overanalyze "what went wrong" or pick yourself to pieces! That is not helpful right now. You need some time to heal.

Another suggestion is to keep busy with a schedule so there isn't much down time; and in that schedule make yourself scarce when the opportunity for hurt is most apparent. For example, when your hallmates are getting ready to go out to sorority-related events, be somewhere else for the time being. You don't need to expose yourself to that right now; and eventually (hopefully sooner rather than later) it won't bother or hurt so much.

In a few months, this will look completely different. Promise.

It really is fresh right now. Don't expect it not to still hurt. Grief has stages, and making friends will speed that process up. Get out of your dorm and make an effort to do things on campus. There really are non- Greeks and non-Greek activities all around you if you don't focus on what you don't have. I know it's hard, but you're going to make yourself miserable and ruin what is arguably some of the most fun times in your life if you don't snap yourself out of your funk and enjoy college. Start with people in your classes and dorm. Ask someone to lunch. Go to a meeting of a campus group. Look at the message boards on campus. The opportunities are there. This will also improve your experience, your resume...and you may even like it. :) Last, try to laugh. It is a natural stress reliever and heals. BTW, UGA is an awesome university. You'll find your place.

It will get better. Keep a smile on your face and be as friendly to everyone as possible. There is so much to do at UGA.

I would definitely suggest taking the advice you've already been given - get out of your dorm! Or at least out of the room. Most of the friends I met before I joined a sorority I had started talking to all because I went to the lobby of my dorm to study, rather than staying in my room. You'd be surprised the places you can meet people and start a conversation.

And while at first I would suggest trying to "avoid" all that has to do with sororities, eventually, after it doesn't hurt so much, you might try being around the sisters more. While they're running around your hall trying to get ready for a social, walk by, smile, say hi, even try to maybe start a conversation by saying something like, "wow, you girls must have a big event tonight," or whatever. Don't be the creepy girl who seems to be stalking them, but keep it light. Just by being friendly and nice, they may keep you in mind the next time recruitment rolls around again (should you choose to re-rush).

And getting involved in other groups and events on campus will also allow you to meet sorority women. If a good portion of the campus is Greek, a good number of the sisters will be in other clubs and organizations.

Get out there and have fun!

Thanks everyone, I do plan to rush again so hopefully I will be able to come onto greek chat sometime and be able to say that I am actually Greek! LOL

Look at that bolded word.

There is NO SUCH THING as "automatic friends." These girls have an automatic new social circle, maybe, but automatic friends? No way. Lasting riendships take time, whether they are in your dorm, your sorority, your athletic team, your camp, whatever.

If you've come from a fairly active HS social life (especially if you never really had to try that hard to have it) I know this is really really really hard to take, but being in the place of those HS women who DIDN'T have an active social life will do you nothing but good in the long run. You have a fresh slate. You have to work. Nothing will be handed to you.

In the meantime, get out of your dorm, get involved in activities, and, oh yeah, concentrate on your classes.

Been there, done that.
 

I'm pretty sure that was specific to your school. At a school like the OP's, land and housing costs millions of dollars and it is a major responsibility for any NPC group to undertake - one that usually does not happen without the request of the university. If an interest group contained Bill Gates' daughter who said Daddy will pay for it all, maybe then, but it is far more complicated than colonization was at your school.

Your enthusiasm is wonderful, but this really isn't an option for the OP.

UGa has so many wonderful options for involvement! Go to the activities fair on Wednesday to see which orgs appeal to you. When the Greeks on your floor get ready for an event, reach out to other non-Greeks on your floor to initiate your own social events: a movie at the Tate center, Dawgs After Dark, work out at Ramsey, team sports events, etc.