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Take it personally or no?
If an active sorority woman invites you(pnm) to dinner on campus(no rules being broken), is it a sign that the pnm stood out or is it something the sorority women will do to all pnms?
no, the sorority woman did not pay, promise a bid, talk badly about any sorority or convince the pnm that they're the 'way to go." Just getting to know each other I edited the Q so I wouldn't give too much details away. I'm sorry for those who may have viewed my original post. |
I understand your desire for confidentiality, but you've left a lot of holes. Let me fill in some blanks and you'll correct me if I'm wrong.
1st, you're talking about NPC sororities, and formal rush is over, and you either rushed and didn't get a bid or decided not to rush. If this is the case, then inviting to you dinner is a way of informal rushing you, probably. Or maybe a get to know you for informal rush that could be happening next semester. They most definitely wouldn't be inviting out every girl. Too much hassle, too much time, too much paperwork. You've passed some sort of test for them to want to get to know you better. I'd love to hear more about what's going on and where sorority life stands in your present and future. |
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On my campus which has deferred recruitment, if a chapter invited you to dinner/lunch fall semester that meant one of two things. 1. An alumna sent in a rec for you and the chapter wants to meet you. 2. A member of the chapter knows you from class, high school, etc and wants to have others i the chapter meet you. I can only offer those explanations, since I am not familiar with your campus.
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for a campus with spring recruitment (which always sounds odd to me since it usually takes place in January, but I digress) it is not unusual to have pre-recruitment activities.
The campus panhellenic probably has some guidelines as to when silence starts (when actives can no longer talk to PNMs). There might even be rules as to what type of pre-recruitment activities they can have. But it will depend on the campus. If you do get invited, treat it just like you would a recruitment party- put you best foot forward. Also, if you are invited to multiple houses, go to as many as you can. Don't pick and chose based on where you think want to join. Women from other houses talk to one another. And the sororities will remember if you blew them off during pre-recruitment. |
If you know the woman from class or elsewhere, just treat it as two friends going to dinner.
If you don't know her and she just seemingly randomly contacted you, most likely, someone from the chapter (it could be a recent alumna, as in someone who graduated last year) knows you and knows her and thinks you would get along well. Again, just treat it as two friends going to dinner. This is how deferred rush is SUPPOSED to work! :) Make a friend first, and THEN worry about rushing her. (ForeverRoses - I got the impression this was at a campus restaurant or snack bar - not the sorority house.) |
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OHMYGOODNESS! Now that I think about it...I met a sorority woman from another school earlier this year who told me her cousin is a member of the sorority of the woman who contacted me...I never knew word traveled so quickly! All I did was mention that I planned on going through recruitment, but I certainly didn't expect it to travel this far haha. I definitely appreciate her taking the time to do so though. |
It travels even faster than that so keep that in mind this semester. You are now known on campus and what you do will follow you. You have a great opening here - be the best YOU you can be! Good luck!
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