Dirty Rushers :(
 

First of all I realized my username isn't PC, I apologize haha :p

But so basically this is the situation:

I'll be starting a big, competitive school and rushing this month (scary) and I have a few friends going through recruitment simultaneously. Recently one of them told me that a sorority girl be both know basically promised her a bid, talked about how she'd be her future little, and had her take pictures doing that group's handsign. (She showed me evidence of all of the above :() They weren't friends until the last few weeks and it all feels very icky.

I just don't know what to think of this. Is it unfair to weigh that into my opinion of the chapter? I know to keep an open mind, but who knows how prevalent it is or isn't, and why members would do it...Any thoughts? It's not really my business but then again it seems disrespectful to the org.

If the other PNM were my friend, I would tell her that she should go through recruitment and meet everyone before making up her mind. I would also tell her that one member can't guarantee a bid for anyone, no matter how much she likes the PNM. A bid is given by the whole chapter and it's the whole chapter's decision. Don't count on getting a bid just because one sister "promised" you one. She needs to keep an open mind and make the choices that will maximize her chances of getting a bid

I talked to her about it, she definitely understands. It's made her feel the same kind of speculation about the chapter, we can't decide if that's wrong or not :/

If she feels like it was bid promising and wants to take action, she can file a recruitment infraction with Panhellenic Council.

It certainly sounds like a multitude of rush infractions to me, but as much as she is entitled to file a complaint, she needs to weigh the possible consequences if it is discovered that the complaint came from her.

I agree. This sort of thing could have adverse results? I think it might be better to write it all down - times, places, dates, etc and then decide after recruitment. Whether or not she files a formal complaint, she can always give the info to Greek Life or to whatever house she pledges.

This is a total sidebar discussion, BUT, I do think it's what is wrong at competitive schools (not sure about others). The actives are clawing all over themselves to turn in their "friends" in other groups for rush infractions, but the PNM's who are the ones who have the potential to get burned by rush infractions are too scared to say anything. It just seems that the system isn't working to the benefit of the PNM who is stuck in the weird position. We all know countless stories (at least I do?) of PNM's who were promised bids, didn't say anything about it because they were too scared, and then were burned on or before Bid Day. Not sure how to fix the system though...

It's Panhellenic's job to council her on that. Since we don't know the campus, we don't exactly know whether or not it'll have an adverse affect. Also, if she wants to document and hold on to it, she better start time stamping things. I've seen too many instances when a chapter gets away with "she's just bitter she didn't get a bid."

This happens at most schools. If I remember correctly, my chapter filed a recruitment infraction on another for offering the Rho Gammas a snack when they came to pick up PNMs at the house. Or something equally as stupid/inconsequential. They should be there to protect the PNMs but unfortunately chapters use them as a weapon against each other.

As long as the PNM understands that one or two women from a group cannot guarantee them a bid, they should not be "burned" at any time during recruitment. My advice is to proceed as if nothing has happened. If she feels the need after recruitment to have a chat with the Greek Adviser, that would be an excellent idea.

Absolutely, but the reality is we're dealing with 18 year old minds who don't fully understand the backside of the process. You can tell them until they're blue in the face that they shouldn't listen to that, but if "ZOMG XYZ tip-top group" are all telling her they can't wait to see her tomorrow and she better SIP them...she's going to be inclined to believe it. And THEN if she does later turn them in, she's feeling like she labeled herself "big nanny tattletale" which she's been told since preschool she should never be that girl. And yes, this happened last year (for sure) and several times while I was in college.

It's a double-edged sword for sure and not black and white by any means.

Yeah? What if the pics of her making the XYZ hand sign are seen by other groups?

That has far more potential to screw the group than it does the PNM. If the dirty rusher is dumb enough to post them, her group will be punished and she'll most likely face suspension or termination (if not for actually doing it, for being egregiously stupid).

If the PNM is the one who posts the pictures, well, then she's just stupid too.

And to the OP...no, it is NOT unfair to add that into your opinion of the chapter, any more than if you saw one of their sisters shoplifting or doing something else you know is wrong. I'd put these girls at the bottom of my list every night, personally.

Wait. So you saw photos of this girl doing the group's hand sign? How do you know the sorority member was involved? Was she in the photos? Are you sure this isn't some sort of fantasy on her part? LOOK AT ME!!!! XYZ WANTS ME SOOOOO BAD!!!!!!!!! The point is, you weren't really there and didn't see it with your own eyes so you really don't know.

Our point was that if she speaks to Panhellenic prior to recruitment, there is the risk that the source of the complaint (her) might be leaked and negatively effect her recruitment. Even if noone mentions that it was Patty PNM who made the complaint, if XYZ sorority has to go in and talk to the Greek life advisor for talking to a PNM during "silence/no contact period" it might be easy for XYZ to put two and two together and figure out it was Patty.

My point is that it's Panhellenic's job to council her on whether or not she needs to or should file a recruitment infraction. If it leaks, there are steps she can take.

She also may want to discuss it with her recruitment counselor rather than just any member of Panhellenic - I was not allowed to discuss anything about PNMs with my chapter or any other. Any breach of that meant serious trouble and everyone knew it. If she doesn't file the infraction, though, the chapter doesn't need to have a discussion with the Greek Advisor. Someone on the campus would know whether it was likely that someone would figure it out. Not randos on the internet.