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- - Re-rushing (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=127684)

deleted since i don't want ppl to figure out who i am esp since i already posted my state

Quote:

Originally Posted by eastcoastgal (Post 2156556)

Hi! I am rushing again this year (as a sophomore) and was wondering if any of yall had any advice. I know people say that rushing again won't change results unless something has changed, but here's some background information:

I am originally from the east coast but go school elsewhere, where recs are not required and a large amount of girls join as sophomores. A lot of girls end up in "good" sororities as sophomores.

When going through recruitment last year, I had braces on my teeth and didn't wear clothes I felt that confident in. I am somewhat shy and had trouble making real conversations with the girls. I also felt as if I was putting them on pedestals; so many girls that I talked to at the houses I liked seemed so much "better" than me.
I got dropped by the ones that I liked, but kept with it for a bit. I ended up being left with two very awkward, weak sororities, so I dropped out before pref night.

Since then, I have developed much better conversation skills, have been involved in a couple clubs (with leadership positions). I have since gotten rid of the braces and have nice straight teeth :D.

This spring, I went to a couple casual open house events for the upcoming fall rush. While a few of them were mildly awkward at times, it was a good experience. Then I went to the open house for the "top" sorority at my school and absolutely loved it. Although they sometimes have a rep of being snobby, the girls were so nice and I connected very well with all of them, and stayed and talked for a few hours without realizing the time. I didn't know many of them going in, but found out that I had some connections to a few of the girls. When I saw the girls I had talked to around campus, they recognized me and spoke to me. This being said, I felt much better about the impending fall rush and felt as if I would be more successful.

I am preparing for rush now, continuing to work on social skills, and am buying nice clothes that are a better reflection of me (people tell me that I am really well-dressed and I take a lot of pride in it; I think it will help me be more confident). Overall though I am much more confident. Also because I understand the process and have a good feel for the sororities on campus, I think I know what I'm doing.

All of this being said, is it reasonable to think that things will turn out differently for me this go round? I don't want a repeat of last rush.
I'm still nervous, and really want this to work out.

I can't. I simply can't.

If you are making significant improvements where you felt you lacked last time, things could turn out better for you this time. It's a good thing that you're working on improving your confidence. If you go in feeling good about yourself, you won't be as nervous and you can focus on what's really important. After reading your post, I'm a bit concerned that you may put too much stock in your appearance. You can be the best-dressed girl at recruitment, but if you lack personality and conversational skills, that means nothing. Make sure you're working on your communication skills over the summer. You want to make the best first impression possible, and your appearance is only part of that battle. Your conversations are the single most important thing about recruitment. It's also important that you have a GPA above the minimum requirement (usually a 2.5) and extracurricular involvement from last year.

I know you've heard this before, but go in with an open mind. I know you had some past experiences with the "top" chapter, but don't focus only on them. Be prepared for cuts, especially from "top" chapters since you are a sophomore re-rushing. I'm not saying you are guaranteed to get cut, but it is a possibility that you need to prepare for. The "awkward, weak" sororities may be all you have left. Keep in mind that a chapter's reputation isn't everything, and that it is subjective. You're going through recruitment to find the chapter with a sisterhood that is the best fit for you, regardless of its reputation. The best advice I can give you is to put reputations and tiers out of your mind and go in willing to accept any of the chapters that invite you back.

That being said, I re-rushed as a sophomore and got my happy ending. Was it easy? No. I was faced with some tough cuts, but I stuck with it and I ended up where I was meant to be. You can read my story if you want. Best of luck to you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greek_or_Geek? (Post 2156557)

I can't. I simply can't.

Here, I'll give it a shot:

You were an awkward and weak PNM, and you were too good for the awkward and weak chapters? Honey, braces aren't going to fix all that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by eastcoastgal (Post 2156562)

Thanks Victoriana, I'll keep your advice in mind. And I didn't mean to say that I'm only looking at "top-tier" houses, there are about 4 houses that I'm really interested in (based on open-houses and friends), but I could probably see myself at a good portion of my school's chapters. Basically the two that I was left with last time were the only two that I really didn't think I could make work. I posted this because a lot of this forum focuses on the southern schools, and going to a CO school I felt that my experiences didn't match up with what I see on here and was simply curios.

What is problematic is ... no, let me start over.

Um, did you stop to think that ... nope, that's not what I want to say.

Uh... no. That's not what I want to say either.

Good luck on your recruitment. I hope that you find a home! Membership is for a lifetime, not just the brief time you're in college.

I can *almost* guarantee that the women in the "awkward, weak" chapters are no less bonded to their sisters and no more lacking the sorority experience than anyone else in the greek system. Look at those places as groups of people - human beings with friends - and you may be surprised at how "normal" they are and how well one may work for you.

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by eastcoastgal (Post 2156556)

Ummm...so the awkward girl only got looked at by the "awkward" houses? How can that be? How is that possible? A special "awkward" snowflake like yourself deserves SO MUCH BETTER! :rolleyes:

Do the rest of those lovely sorority girls a favor and either (a) change your attitude and realize that if you were "top tier" material--you would have most likely gotten a bid (braces and all) or (b) quit wasting everyone else's time and don't go through rush.

At least the op isn't going to be judgemental and self-centered this time around! Oh wait. Nevermind.

eastcoastgal -

It seems you want to be in a sorority. There are pros (things that increase your chances of getting a bid) and cons (things that decrease your chances of getting a bid) to your situation.

Cons:

Rerushing
Upperclassman
Not opwn to all chapters (less chapters you are willing to accept a bid from, less chance you will end up in a sorority)

Pros:

Seems as if you will have more confidence, social skills
No braces, better clothes (presentation)
Leadership in other clubs
Knowing girls in sororities
Better prepared for rush (and hopefully have recs)

All this being said, you might be cut from every single sorority or you might end up with your number one choice. We really can't say, but I wish you the best of luck.

The women in the top chapter that made you feel like you connected so well with them? They are able to do that with everyone. That's why they are the top chapter. It's the same principle as a guy who can date 10 different girls and make each of them feel like she's his "one and only" and the rest just don't matter. I'm not saying it's insincere, just that they may be able to convey it straight from the jump faster and easier than most people.

Not having this skill does NOT mean your sorority sucks.

Sidebar: I thought that nowadays everyone wearing braces got the clear ones that no one could even tell you were wearing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2156623)

Sidebar: I thought that nowadays everyone wearing braces got the clear ones that no one could even tell you were wearing.

I've never had braces but my youngest sister did -- Invisalign was way, way more expensive than regular braces. I think some insurance plans won't cover the full cost of it. My parents wouldn't pay for it, so my sister went through recruitment with a mouth full of metal.

(And to the OP: she didn't get cut by a single chapter and pledged the "top" sorority of her choice -- I don't think the braces matter as much as you think they do...)

OP:

As others have said, NEVER think you're "above" a certain chapter/s. I made that mistake when I rushed years ago and it bit me on the ass. I ended up bidless - twice.

It's unrealistic to go through rush thinking "Oooh, if I just get into XYZ my miserable life will change dramatically and I'll suddenly have dates and friends and parties galore to go to." WRONG. You can't fit a square peg in a round hole. Sisterhood is sisterhood, no matter what the reputation is of any given group - unfounded or not. It's hard enough rushing a 2nd time, and if you're not open to ALL possibilities I fear you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

Best of luck.