"Don't Say ___ To Grandma!"
 

Do you guys have certain things that you can't mention in front of relatives or they'll be off on a 20-minute rant or memory trip and you're stuck listening?

We couldn't say "Sears" in front of my grandmother or she'd start carrying on about how she hated the place. We never found out what her original gripe was. We couldn't mention the Kennedys in front of my dad or he'd go off.

We can't say "yearbook" in front of my husband or he'll pull his out and be off on a memory trip, pointing out strangers to us for hours and hours and...you get it! It's amazing how fast I can get halfway down the street while he's pulling the books out, or how fast grown children can get behind doors or under beds.

What about y'all?

Mentioning President Obama is a great way to start a fight with my folks and their friends.

My grandmother loves going on tirades about the evils of alcohol. Her current mission is to prevent my cousin and her future husband from serving any alcohol whatsoever at their wedding reception (champagne toast included).

This past Christmas my dad and uncle decided to exchange bottles of wine at the get together my grandmother was hosting. Yeah...that didn't go over well with her.

We can't talk about what the role of art is. It always ends up being a 3-4 hour discussion, and I want to buy earplugs and earmuffs, because I've heard the same argument 15 times before.

I have some friends with whom I can't say that I like my college town, because I go to college in the Midwest, which means it's not as good as any southern college. *facepalm*

1. Never, EVER extol the virtues of any musical genre other than classical in front of my uncle. I tried to explain that rock can be high-quality and exceptional. Psh. Talking to a wall!

2. I have an aunt with whom you can't discuss Hollywood (actors and such, that is) because she'll talk your ear off about how messed up she thinks it all is. *eyeroll*

3. Just don't disagree with some of my relatives. I have a few who can't be wrong.

1) Never mention Oklahoma City to my brother-in-law. He had one bad experience on a business trip there, and he goes into a tirade about how horrible the city is whenever anyone even mentions the city in passing.

2) Don't bring up the Cubs to my husband or my brothers unless you want to hear hours of discussion about how much they hate the team, the fans, Wrigley Field, you name it.

Sometimes you can be out of Grandma's sight but in view of the person who's about to say ____ and they go and say ____ anyway even though people are dancing up and down mouthing, "No! No!"

My mother, who will only attend Latin Mass, will go on a tirade if someone starts talking about the Catholic Church (as it is today).

Fatima. That's it. Just that one word is enough to set her off.

Hey now.. even Charles Barkley who a couple years ago called OKC a vast wasteland with no black folks has changed his tune during the recent Western Finals.

Your husband sounds like a pretty cool guy :D

WALMART.

My daughter's great-great-aunt (her father's side) is a past union president. You know how it is.

Each time we send her developed pictures of the baby we line-out the Walmart indicator on the backs of the photos.

I actually like OKC. To honk off the bil, I like to mention how much I loved my meals at Ranch Steakhouse. Sends him into orbit, which is comical dinner entertainment:D

He really is the greatest guy ever! I'm very lucky. I forgot this little tidbit: When our kids were born, his sister sent Cubs onesies. Needless to say, they were promptly returned for Sox gear.

In recent years, I had this boss who as he aged, became obsessed with his family history. He kept huge scrapbooks and photo albums and would try to get us into his office to discuss all this. On one hand, we liked him and felt sorry for him because we knew he was lonely; on the other hand, you could get stuck in there for over an hour as he recounted the glory days of the "Smiths".

Then some of the more evil employees started setting each other up. Say, I would come in and the cop on duty might yell down the hall: "Mr. Smith! Dr. Carnation is here and she wants to hear your latest finds on the Smith historyyyy!" and I would accidentally on purpose kick the cop's wastebasket over as I stalked down the hall, sure to be victimized again.

Would you believe that some employees would climb into their windows in the morning to avoid him?

Heh. Mentioning George W Bush has a similar effect with my MIL.

I always hear good things about that place. I live in its general vicinity, but it's hard to beat a home-cooked steak.