PNM slidehow leaked from frat I was rushing...advice?
 

I'm rushing a year later than normal for my school.

One of the current brothers borrowed my laptop last night while I was out of the room (he had my permission). He logged out of his email, but apparently didn't realize he had a nice powerpoint open -- PNMs.ppt

I had no idea such a thing even existed -- they have an exhaustive list of every potential new member. One or more slides per person-- complete with their facebook profile photo, descriptions of them from brothers (signed with a number not a name), and a LOT of really hateful things for the people they don't like/don't want in. Even some weird things like comments on penis size (how the hell do they know anyway?)

Nothing negative was said about me-- in fact it seems they want to give me a bid. However, it was really disheartening to read some of the horrifically cruel things that they said about some other students I know.

The slideshow also included "proposed" hazing activities...things way more hardcore (and gay as fuck) than I would have imagined.

As you might suspect, I'm now having second thoughts about this process. People that I consider my friends have been writing these horrible things and their pledging is clearly far nastier than I ever would have believed.

What do?

If you don't want to participate in "gay as fuck" hazing, then pledge somewhere else. Of course you really don't know what sort of context that was to be presented in, so it's entirely possible that was offered in a joking fashion. I don't know how horrible these things which are said actually are, but I would venture to say that this group's behavior in this context is less than honorable. That sounds important to you, so again, you're going to have to decide how much that matters.

It's not unusual for a group to put together power point slides to decide to whom they will be giving bids.

The fact is though that you're going to have friends anywhere you get a bid. You may not now, but you will. It sounds like you ought to be exploring your options.

Realistically, it's not uncommon to have some sort of shared document or presentation or system of tracking potential new members. It's probably also not uncommon for less than flattering things to be said about the PNMs in advance of a vote, either for fun or for real.

Consider that the things you saw may very well have been inside jokes that you don't have the context for.

Otherwise, it was very silly for your friend to leave the document open on your computer, unless it was a test.

I don't know if there's anything you can or should do in this case other than continue to go through the rush process for this fraternity and any of the others you are interested in.

ETA: Yes, what Kevin said.

Thanks both of you for posting.

I don't think it was a test because the contents of this slideshow in the wrong hands would get them derecognized and kicked off campus in about 15 seconds.

Of course I wouldn't share it with anyone because those people are my friends...but still it's really put me in an awkward position.

At this point I'm wondering if I should tell him/any of the brothers that I saw it or pretend I never did.

Also, rushing elsewhere is not an option. It's this fraternity or no fraternity.

DO NOT TELL THEM YOU SAW IT.

Otherwise, it's a truly disappointing situation that you're in and I feel for you. I'm not one of those guys that's going to say OMG DON'T PLEDGE THEY ARE HAAAAZZZZEERRRSSSSS. But neither could I advocate that you pursue a fraternity that you pretty much know for sure doesn't share your values.

If you were my son, and it's this fraternity or no fraternity, I'd probably tell you to go through the rush process, see if you actually get picked, and perhaps start the process. You can always drop if it's not your thing or if your morals are compromised.

This may not be the BEST advice, but it's the advice I have.

Thanks.

And I of course knew they hazed...every fraternity here does, it goes without saying. I just wasn't expecting some of what I read. The worst things that I heard about during their pledging were naked wall sits and having to puke on eachother-- nasty but whatever not a huge deal.

I am starting to think the proposed hazing part is some kind of joke because they're always going on about how hazing is about tradition and whatnot, so making up new hazing activities every year kind of goes against that whole tradition aspect I would think.

Dunno dunno dunno, whatever I'll probably rush anyway.

Why is that?

Small school, only a handful of frats because the administration has been cracking down over the past 10 years. Those that remain are all very distinct and cliquey-- there is virtually no inter-fraternity cooperation.

Also, I'm rushing a year later than normal. I may get one of the few older-student bids because I'm such close friends with a large number of the current members-- which is not the case with the other frats.

I.e., Can I get a bid at this fraternity? Probably. Any other fraternity? Certainly not and I'd be laughed at if I showed up at formal rush.

Lane swerve, but I thought you said it was this fraternity or no fraternity, implying it was the only one on campus. But here you say all of them haze?

ETA: Nevermind. Stupid phone.

Just because someone left a confidential document open on your computer doesn't mean you have to look at it or continue to read it when you realize what it is.

Where is the like button when we need one?

Who actually believes this is a true story?

:)

I doubt that a fraternity who comments on penis size and "hardcore, gay hazing" would refer to its aspirants/rushees as "potential new members"

My thoughts exactly. I almost feel as if this is the set up for some steamy hazing stories in the near future.

Hoosier Is This You?