Charity Cases
 

What is your opinion on Charity Cases. Would you rather help someone who doesn't fit your chapter out ("possibly" changing their life) while possibly ruining a chapter, or not give a bid and feel sorry for someone?

I can remember having cases of guys who came off as a little shy. We usually took a chance and extended them a bid, talking about how we would help them build their confidence.

As for someone who didn't fit the chapter....can you explain a little more?

Are you talking about:
- someone who isn't a brainiac and everyone in the chapter has a 4.0?
- someone who isn't athletic and the chapter only wants guys who played varsity in hs to help with intramurals?
-someone who is ugly as sin and the chapter is full of A&F models?

iChuckled :p

A new chapter at my school did this. They took a girl (who had rushed us multiple times - our sisters knew her from band, so they were well clued in on her actual personality) because they felt "sorry" for her. Within a year, they were all bitching and complaining about her. Turns out the pathetic little churchmouse they thought they'd bid was actually a headstrong, overbearing pain in the ass.

Feeling sorry for someone or trying to "help" someone is one of the WORST reasons to give a bid. You condemn them to life as a second class citizen in your GLO because everyone knows that's why they're there. Or, as illustrated above, sometimes you get something different than what you thought you were getting. What you should do instead - be a FRIEND to them and help them to find a place in college life on their own. You can be a friend without being a brother or sister.

:)

33girl, even though that is sorority related, we came to a similar decision. A friend doesn't have to be a brother.

My main concern was he has Asburgers, meaning he blurts of secrets without knowing. Other than that, none of us were able to converse. It would have been a guilt bit, kid has a dark past.

*Aspergers

I kept reading your post as "ass burgers"

Jinx....I was just going to point out he used the Eric Cartman spelling. jazing - it's Asperger's. :)

For the record, cases of Asperger's vary but it is sometimes (and perhaps, often) not the case that people with Asperger's truly do not know what they are saying.

Yes. Sympathy bidding is bad, bad, news. Not everyone is cut out to be a member of XYZ just like not everyone is cut out to be Greek.

I'll share on example of it.

My big is driving us to a rush event, and the kid blurts out how he hates gay people. My big is gay, openly.

:eek: Why in the world would you later consider giving him a bid?????

It may be Asperger's that increases the likelihood of his doing that but I would not put that solely on Asperger's as though Asperger's causes it. There are different levels of Asperger's just as there are different levels of autism (which Asperger's is a form of). People, and especially adults, with Asperger's can be more functional which is how they are often able to live relatively "normal" lives with a few quirks here and there. Some people with Asperger's have no more quirks than those without Asperger's.

Many people with ADHD and Tourette Syndrome also blurt out things that they do not mean to say. From my experiences, there are cases where ADHD and tourettes can be more difficult to control than more mild forms of autism and Asperger's. By the time someone gets to college and has received a bid to an NIC fraternity, it is safe to assume that the person with Asperger's is functional enough and tends to know what he is saying. No level of EEOC and diversity initiatives can encourage non-profit, private organizations to bid and initiate people whose illness makes them uncontrolled.

Are you sure it's not Tourette Syndrome? Or maybe he has multiple diagnoses, but the blurting is more associated with Tourettes. Not saying that it's not possible that it's caused by Asperger's.

I know that cases of both of these syndromes vary greatly in manifestation, but I would think it would be extremely challenging for anyone with a generally inherently anti-social syndrome to get along in a social GLO.

I have Tourettes, I'm sure the guy doesn't have it. TS is usually not verbal, only about a fifth have verbal tics. He didn't get a bid, but we'll still try and be his friends.