Second semester sophomore at USC... torn on rushing.
 

Hey everyone -

So I'm about to start my second semester of sophomore year at USC (Southern California), and I'm giving some serious thought to rushing and wondering if I should or not.

So for the last three semesters, I've been super cynical about the Greek system at USC. At times, it seems kinda superficial, fake, and too crazy, like something out of a terrible direct-to-video teen movie about college life. And yet some part of me wants in. Why? Well, the standard response to that would be that I need to experience the Greek system for myself to be able to credibly make comments on it, and while that is true to some degree, the honest answer would be to feel "cool", feel a sense of belonging, and gain access to the full social pool at SC.

This "full social pool" thing is actually kinda big for me. I've seen and I hate how the chunk of the social scene dictated by Greeks is basically shut off to non-Greeks, at least in case of guys. It's a pity because I have friends at schools with Greek systems far more "open" than ours, and it seems to me like they get by quite well. Also, by god, it seems like a lot of Greek girls pretty much ignore guys not in a house, which I think is kinda obnoxious.

I'm not a completely socially inept weirdo or anything, I go to parties, meet cool new people (spit decent game? haha), hang out with friends, so on so forth. But it seems to me like I'm missing out on something. I know I might have sounded pretty closed minded and so far, but I'm totally open to a good experience changing my mind. I've gone to rush events before just for the free food, haha, never with the serious thought of rushing, and I've always kinda felt out of place/intimidated, not gonna lie.

So yeah, anyways... any thoughts? What should I do? I'm sure you can tell I'm rather torn apart by this... thanks!

From reading this, it sounds like you only want to rush so you can confirm that all the BS you've heard about Greek life is true. Hopefully, that's not what you meant :)

Greek life isn't for everyone. Go to rush events and meet the guys (not just their food). If you can see yourself bonding with them, go for it. If it doesn't work out, there are plenty of other ways that you can be involved on your campus.

Good luck.

Haha, quite the opposite really - I want to believe all the stuff I've heard is /not/ true, I feel like there are definitely upsides to it, and I'd like to be able to take part in it without feeling guilty about feeling fake the whole time. <- I hope that made sense.

So you've gone to rush events before just as a big goof and to get something free to eat, but you really really are serious this time, for sure?

Don't be surprised if the guys whose hospitality you took advantage of doubt your motives and kick you to the curb.

Haha, so quick to jump to conclusions, as if I didn't socialize.

Now go away troll.

No, that's not what I said. (although your reading comprehension is obviously effed up as you are characterizing someone other than yourself as a troll)

I have no idea what a blue chip is, nor do I care...simply saying, some fraternity men might not want to bid you if you previously rushed and had no intentions of pledging.

Ooh, we got a badass over here. Chill, no need to be tripping.

But fair enough on the last note.

First of all, show 33girl some respect, whether it's because she's a mod, she's put her time into a sorority, she's older than you, she's awesome and she's a girl...take your pick of those, plus whatever else you can come up with.

@33girl, I think that the Blue Chip dinner he was speaking about is a formal dinner that fraternities hold during the Friday/last night of rush...basically, unless you do something stupid you'd more than likely get a bid from them.

That being said, she does have a point... unless your school has an extremely competitive rush, you could possibly be seen as a moocher if you go through rush again and aren't serious about it. Then again, they might not even remember you, I don't know what it's like there.

My advice would be that if you honestly think that you would enjoy being a part of greek life, then go for it... but, it's not for everybody. But, if you're going to go then you need to be committed to it...go to the parties to meet the brothers, find out what you can about what they do, etc. You should look at which chapter has the guys that you would like to hang around with A LOT...because those are the guys that will become your best friends. But, do be prepared for a little bit of skepticism just because of your past attempts...not saying that they'll hold it against you, but I'm sure that somebody will remember you.

...and if you don't think that you're quite ready to be committed to it, then you could look up some guys from different chapters and get to know them to find out more about what they're like.

JDCookMS, you are a Southern gentleman.

Where is Greek Chat's like button?

In my experience sorority girls are pretty much able to ascertain when a guy's a douche whether he is Greek or not. Pledging will not turn you into something desirable.

By "in a house" you mean simply part of Greek Life, not actually living in the house?

I'm pretty sure that's what he means...

IDK it seems to me that you are trying to use Greek Life to aid you in climbing the social ladder. I'm not saying that is the case, but that is how it seems. It might turn them off to you if you come across that way in real life.

People join sororities and fraternities for a variety of reasons, not all of them the most noble. What he's said about his reasons for interest doesn't offend me. I am (as so often happens) confused about why he asked a question and then attacked possibly our most knowledgeable GC member (regardless of gender or member status) as a troll. Also, I believe he might consult a dictionary of some sort for a definition of troll as it applies to our usage.

If I were to hazard a guess, rush parties at USC are probably pretty big and if he went to a couple parties to hang out and eat the food, it probably wouldn't be remembered 6 months or a year later.

My suggestion: go through rush, check out a couple who were interested in you before and a couple new ones who seem to fit your goals as a member going forward. But don't get all defensive and call the guys d-bags when/if they don't invite you back for more parties or eventually pledge you. This is a membership selection process and they're not going to take every guy who expresses interest and that does NOT mean they're assholes straight out of a bad movie if they don't want you. This is your opportunity to be a man and put yourself out there and open yourself up to rejection.

Why do people come onto message boards and start attacking people?

It's always easier to reject someone before they (theoretically) reject you. Honestly, it's often easier to date someone who can identify with a big part of your life. I'm not saying that Greeks and non-Greeks can't have successful relationships, but it's easier to understand things like membership meetings going long or mandatory study hours, philanthropy/service projects, or sisterhood/brotherhood events when you have similar commitments. Just like dating someone who is on a sports team or in theater - it's hard to understand it all when you haven't been there before.

As DubaiSis said, people do join Fraternities and Sororities for various reasons, but be aware that most people can tell if you're being disingenuous. Sincerity and humility go a long way when trying to get people to like you.