Am I not 'right' for a sorority?
 

So I've spent about 2 hours reading through a couple of the threads on here, the ones with 10+ plus pages, looking for advice. I found it all very helpful! So, from what I've seen countless times I'll try asking this without giving out too much info.

I am a senior in hs and I do have my heart set on one particular university. Huge greek scene there and very, very competitive from what I've gathered on this site haha. It also happens to be in the south.

I realize many girls grow up dreaming of being in a sorority, or they come from a family that has a history of sororities.
Well, I come from a family where only...a couple of people (literally like 2) have attended college, me being the 3rd. Out of the 2, 1 was in a sorority.

I would love to join a sorority and to find the perfect house for me. Whether I go to the school I hope to or not, I am a tad bit interested in about 2 sororities, because I really like their philanthropies.

Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to ask is...because I would not be going into recruitment with my heart set on a particular house or this lifelong dream of being in a sorority, am I not a 'fit' for a sorority?

I understand being in a sorority is a commitment and something you have to want to do and I do(when I get to college), but since the school I have my heart set on is supposedly competitive when it comes to recruitment, I guess it's maybe killing my confidence and optimism in a way.

Really, I'd be going into recruitment with an open mind and heart, not thinking "I want to be in xyz." But since so many girls go into it with that mindset...I don't know.

I would say what school but I don't want to risk being identified.

Basically I'm questioning whether I'm not right for a sorority because I wouldn't enter into rush with my heart set on any particular house.

Advice?

That is the absolute BEST way to enter rush. Completely open minded. Good luck!

Are you talking NPC sororities or NPHC?

If you are talking NPC sororities, then it's great that you don't have your heart set. It's best to go into the process open - throughout the recruitment process, as you learn more about the houses and the girls in each house, you'll most likely find yourself leaning one direction or another.

If you are talking NPHC, then it's a bit difference. If you are not feeling a connection to one group or another, you are probably not ready to pursue membership yet.

NPC

I went into recruitment at UGA completely oblivious - now, OK, it was almost 20 years ago, but hear me out.

I had an older sister in a sorority at a completely different smaller school, and that was it.

I had one recommendation, and that was it (NOTE - I don't recommend this, I just had no idea I needed them or I'd have been diligent in getting them). I was completely clueless.

I was not a party girl, I didn't really wear makeup, I was a total feminist, and I was kind of a geek.

I still am all of those things.

Point being, I went through rush with not real notion of the houses, except for the brief descriptions that we got in our Rush Guide.

And at the end of Round 1, I didn't have my heart set on one house, I had my heart set on all eighteen of them. Really and truly I found something to like about each house.

Now, the house where my hostess ditched me and left me staring out their lovely bay window feeling awkward... that one didn't make the top of my list, but you get what I'm saying.

There are as many kinds of sorority girl as there are girls in a sorority.

So, do your homework as far as getting recs, and reading your recruitment materials and go and enjoy the process.

Don't worry about it. There are going to be girls who have been preparing for rush almost literally from the womb. And you know what? They won't necessarily have any better outcome than you will. And they will be going in with so many preconceived notions that it can really hinder them, even though they KNOW they shouldn't be using their mom's perceptions or preferences.

Your next concern is going to be getting recommendations. It will take you some work but trust me, you'll find them. Start now to ask your teachers, parents' friends, church people, whatever (there are lots of threads here about who to approach, how, etc.). If you start now gathering your information you should have no trouble getting your connections together in time.

And finally, southern schools aren't my area except for what I've learned here. Some of those schools have spring events for seniors. My understanding is you want to make sure you attend at least one of these events and network network network!

This sums it up. :)

Just remember to keep that open mind, no matter what you hear from other girls in your HS, in your rush group, in your dorm, whatever. Also remember that often the most popular chapters are the most popular because they have a knack of making EVERYONE feel special and that they want them - whether that's the truth or not. (See: flirtatious boy who makes you think he likes you but has no intention of actually asking you out. ) Don't get discouraged if you are cut from a chapter that it seems you really "clicked" with. Focus on the good things in the chapters who DO invite you back.

Good luck! And yes, start lining up your recommendations now.

First of all, I agree with all the previous advice given.

One additional comment I have... ALL groups have worthwhile philanthropies. In my experience, most new members join a group based on how they clicked with the members of the group, not on what their philanthropy, colors or pin looks like.

Going through with an open mind is great.

Yup. I picked up on that too. SBM daughter ended up preffing 3 sororities that were not her favorites, philanthropy-wise, but subsequently became very involved with one of her sorority's philanthropies.

The boards here great suggestions-those in and of themselves should give you a leg up on your recruitment. Good luck!

Thank you all very much!
I've already been asking around. School hasn't started yet so I'm slow in the process but it will be so much easier since I do actually know a few teachers at school who were in sororities and I have a family member who was in a sorority during her college days.
Thanks again. I feel better

And, by the way, the philanthropies change. My sorority's philanthropy when I was in college was American Lung Association, a group I strongly support. They were fantastic for the sorority because among other things we were required to know CPR. Our national philanthropy has changed twice since then and I am not thrilled with our current one, but would I change my sorority (not that I could anyway) because of it? Of course not. And some sororities support causes that are extremely worthwhile and under-served in the community, but maybe not as sexy or flavor of the month as some others.

Oh, and one little correction. Your family member IS a member of a sorority. This isn't a college thing - it's a rest of your life thing. Unless of course she terminated her membership.

I'm sorry, I chose my wording wrong. Unfortunately her sorority isn't at the school i wish to go to :/