HELP!
 

So I'm really interested in an org on my campus and I've already started the paperwork and the "legal" way to do gain membership but the members of that org on my campus are pledging me and have been since before I started the legal process. I really would prefer to do it the legal way (my conscious is driving me crazy. How can something be "tradition" when the founders didn't do it and I'm sure, wouldn't support it) but I dont know how the ppl in the org will accept me or if they even will if I made that decision. And how do i even make that decision? I've expressed my doubts to them plenty of times but its like they dont hear me. I dont know what I should do? pledge because it "tradition" even though I dont believe in it? or do what i believe in/trust and have my "sisters" reject me?

This makes no sense. If you want help, you must provide more info.

how does it not make sense? its very clear. they want me to pledge...i dont want to. i dont believe it in. do i continue just because someone "told me so", or do i quit and be rejected by them.

Okay, my mistake. it is clear. They want you to pledge. You don't want to. Don't.

There are other people in the world besides these women. Go find new friends, but you should probably quit suggesting there are things that 'bother your conscience' or that 'the founders would not support.'

Why? If something bothers my conscience...I can't/won't deny it.

This. If whatever's going on is bothering your conscience, then don't be a part of it. Simple as that. Regarding whether the founders would support it or not, that's not really of your concern since you're not a member of the group.

If you don't want to pledge, that is your choice. Don't bad mouth the group. Once you decide it is not for you, you don't get to decide if it is right or wrong for others, and spreading this info will cast you in a negative light. If you are going to de-pledge, do it with class.

But I am. I am a legal, official member. (i copied and pasted that paragraph from another site where I thought people would reply/help but they didnt, so i posted here. sorry for the confusion) despite me being a member, im not "done" yet. thats why im asking if i should just quit.

I'm not bad mouthing anyone or any group. You, gee_ess, seem to be very judgmental and this is the same rejection that i was trying to avoid. yes, you have your opinions, but share them respectfully. dont talk, or type, down to me.

Confused1 - I am sorry you feel I am being critical. I was simply trying to give you some straightforward, no drama advice. Your dilemma seems fairly easy to fix. My apologies.

However, based on this post:
But I am. I am a legal, official member. (i copied and pasted that paragraph from another site where I thought people would reply/help but they didnt, so i posted here. sorry for the confusion) despite me being a member, im not "done" yet. thats why im asking if i should just quit.,

I am thoroughly confused. Hopefully, someone else can be of more help to you.

No hard feelings. Thank you for your apology, it is well appreciated. And my apologies for my snappiness, I'm just a little stressed out which is probably clear. Its a pretty simple, complex issue. I am a member but not done with my "process", so I'm asking if I should just quit the "process" because I am a member, I'd just be called "paper". I guess my main concern is , "is it really that bad to be called paper?". It seems as though its horrible, but I don't see the issue. I'm not sure if I'm just being naive.

So basically they are expecting to be able to continue to haze you even though you've crossed?

yes.

Maybe you ought to talk to someone in your national organization then.

You are referring to an NPHC org, right?