Trouble making friends
 

Hey everyone, this may not be a unique topic but I thought I'd come here for some advice. I'm a founding member on my campus for a brand new chapter on my campus this fall semester. It's really exciting and I do enjoy it, but I have some worries. I haven't really clicked with anyone on a deeper level yet and it sucks because I see that other girls seem to have their own group of friends. I understand that a lot of the girls went through the process together and they just hang out with their own friends I suppose. But how do I open up more to form some closer bonds with my sisters? I'm a junior so it's not as easy for me since most of the other sisters are freshman. Any advice? Anyone else feel this way when they first joined?

Skipping the spam...if you mean you were chosen to be a member of a colony, this is something that the national organization should be keeping an eye on and facilitating. It's in their best interest to have a chapter that's cohesive across all the classes otherwise once that large clique graduates the chapter will falter. It's also very shortsighted of them to choose freshmen as the majority of the members - again, once they all graduate, the chapter will be SOL.

I would speak to your colony development director (or whatever your GLO calls the volunteer in charge of the colony) because this is an issue that needs to be nipped in the bud.

As always, listen to 33. But I would say, try to push the limits of your comfort zone. If you nudge your way into a conversation or say something as simple as "can I go along" when you hear a group of sisters making plans, they very well may say, "duh, of course!"

If you're a strong personality (me) you forget others may need a little encouragement to jump in. Try to bridge the gap and be a little more out there so the girls who are really out there notice you. As a different kind of personality, I know it's very easy to assume everyone knows they're welcome.

If you find you are making an effort to put yourself out there and you still feel like you're getting the cold shoulder, you have a greater set of issues to confront. Hopefully that's not the case and you'll find a little effort on your part will pay off with stronger friendships and great stories to tell later.

In my case, I didn't make close friends in my chapter until sophomore year (pledged spring of freshman year). I mean, I made friends, but they weren't "BFF" friends, at least not at first. Sometimes, it just takes time.

Seconding this advice very strongly, especially if you can be shy at times.

Try to actively grow the bonds. This is something everyone needs to do, but your part is to act as if the bonds already exist in order to draw people in.

The whole experience is really what you make of it. If you're active in trying to get to know them, you'll no doubt find yourself a better experience.