I feel so disillusioned right now
 

I'm a third year student at a university and I'm feeling depressed right now. Back in freshman year when I lived in the dorms, I felt like I had a bunch of friends everywhere but towards the end of the second year I realized a lot of people have drifted apart. My main goal for fall 2011 was to join a sorority to reignite my social circle.

Mission accomplished...I guess. I got bids from a social sorority and a professional fraternity. I know I can join both but both of them weren't exactly my top picks...

So for the social one, it is a brand new sorority on my campus and I will be part of the founding class (the people from the national headquarters came to our campus to recruit). I like it because it gives me the opportunity to build the sorority and leave behind a legacy on my campus. However, I also realize that I won't be able to experience the traditions that a sorority would normally have.

That's why I looked into professional fraternities. I was hoping by joining these, I will be able to experience established greek life. I only met two, one was fairly new with only founding class (Let's call this one Moon) so I would be alpha class and the second one was the biggest organizations on campus (Let's call Sun). I liked Sun better because they seemed really professional and I really liked talking to the brothers (they call everyone brothers even though it is co-ed). But only Moon gave me a bid. So I'm now in the pledging process for Moon and I'm really bothered with whether or not I want to go through with it. The brothers and sisters at Moon is really nice and we even have Big/lil set up already but I still feel happier when I was talking to the people from Sun.

I guess my last thoughts is...should I depledge from Moon and rush for Sun in winter quarter? I'm not even sure if Sun is recruiting in the winter but I'm really depressed I didn't get in and I keep thinking about them.

Anyone got suggestions or helpful comments? :(

Oh yeah, to give you an idea how big Sun is...they have 60 members and for fall there were 100 applicants and a lot of them are third year transfers which I am not. I am also somewhat hoping there will be less people rushing during winter so I may have a better chance.

Do you mean because the group is new? Even new groups celebrate the traditions of the organization. Could you explain what you mean by this?

No Big/lil when you're founding class.

You miss out on getting a Big of your own, but remember that you'll get to be someone's Big someday. Just because this one part is missing doesn't cheat you of a traditional sorority experience.

Additionally, you'd be a part of the Founding Class and a part of your Chapter's History. I think it's quite the honor.

My big and I hate each other. We pretty much always have. I have lost touch with both of my littles over the years.

I am very close to other women who pledged with me, before me, and after me. Calling someone your big/little does not make it a magical relationship full of perfect friendship.

My big and I didn't have a great relationship, either. It wasn't a hate thing; it was just nonexistent. She was a super busy senior, and she probably shouldn't have taken a little to begin with. Here's the extent of our relationship: she was there for String Night, which was how we found out our Bigs. She gave me a really goofy stuffed animal, dropped me off at the dorm, and went to go study. That's pretty much the only time I spent with her. She wasn't even at my initiation and that's a pretty big deal.

All of that is to say that the big/little relationship is not the end all be all of greek life. It can be special, but it isn't everything.

Yeah, that big/little thing seems to have grown some crazy importance since the days of pledge mom/daughter. Although yes, my pledge mom was probably my best friend in the chapter at the time, she was in no way my only anchor to the chapter and I haven's spoken to her in years. And don't colonies generally do twins and some other really creative things to build bonds? From what I've seen, the colony process seems to make the sisters so bonded to each other and the sorority at large, maybe more than sisters from 100 year old chapters. If you have an opportunity to be part of a colony, I'd jump at it. Yes, it's more work but I think the pay off may be bigger.

ZTA usually divides the colony members up into big/little pairs, but they are called "crown sisters". they have the opportunity to have the same relationship that a big/little might have. some pairs will be close, some pairs will not-just like in a long established chapter.

as to whether you should rerush sun in the spring? what will be different about you in the spring, that would make them want to pledge you, when they didn't chose you in the fall? my suggestion is to think about that. it might influence your decision.