Third Year Rushing?
 

Hi there. So...I'm going to be a third year and long story short, I've made some bad friends over the last two years. I had hung with a group who looked down on fraternities and sororities. I had always secretly wanted to join a fraternity which is why I convinced my friends last year to just go to the rush parties for free booze.

That said, I feel that my group of friends have scattered. Half of them dropped out and the other half aren't as close. So I really want to take this opportunity to try and join a fraternity this fall. My question is this - What do most fraternities think of third year rushing?

And also, I've been through interview questions before (me and my friends bullshitted those so we wouldn't get bids last year) and something that always struck up was "why do you want to be in our frat and what do you think of hazing". What would be a good answer to that?

the best answer would be the truth. If you don't have an answer, you don't want to be in the fraternity. And hey, if you're cool with hazing (I can't IMAGINE that being asked), then say so. If you're not, say you're not.

I've been through two interviews with different fraternities and both of them has asked me that.

I know for sure some fraternities haze so I don't know how I should respond. It IS illegal to haze according to school regulations and law but I know a lot of fraternities still do it. I don't want to be hazed (who wants to?) but I don't want to ruin my chances by telling them no again. (I told them no when I didn't want to get a bid).

Well, it sounds to me like your answer is you don't like it but you're willing to put up with it to get into the fraternity you want.

I would keep in mind that several things can happen as a result of hazing, depending on how severe. 1-you can end up dead. Literally. It happens far too often. 2-you can end up humiliated and less of a man as a result 3-your fraternity can lose its charter if caught and then you're outta luck on your fraternity experience (also happens a lot) 4-you can find it a funny experience that was not so bad and it helped you bond with your pledge brothers. So the question is, does the risk of 1, 2 and 3 diminish because of the possibility of 4?

Hazing is a big word and there are a lot of things that are called hazing that any normal person would not consider abuse. But if it involves alcohol, substantial loss of sleep, inability to attend classes, or personal safety, I personally would say these are no guys to be friends with. But of course that would mean you'd have to pledge and cause a scene if it turns out that's what's going on. Or you could state your limits in an interview and deal with the consequences.

But fraternity guys, am I wrong here, or was this guy's chain being yanked?

It depends on your campus. If you go to a school with competitive recruitment, 'top' houses 99% of the time won't want a third year guy. You'll have to settle for the not-so popular houses.

If you go to a school with laid back recruitment, like mine, it's not uncommon for Sophomores and Juniors to receive bids.

We can also see through when people answer a question just because they think its the right answer or when people are bullshitting us. We had a guy go through rush whose interactions outside of rush raised red flags. When we had a more formal interview with him, he spouted off the 'right' answers as to why he wanted to join "Brotherhood! Community Service! Leadership!" It was easy to see through it and thus, he did not receive a bid.

If you have to think about what the 'right answer' is to questions you are asked, you probably won't fit in the group. And if you answered that you thought some hazing was alright or hazing was necessary, that would be enough for my group to not give you a bid. We don't need a liability.

And if your school has a fairly small rush, we do remember the people who come to rush stuff just for free food or booze. We don't like those people.

I wouldn't' say my school is competitive. We don't even have formal recruitment.

So why is it people ask how people thought of hazing if they actually did haze and didn't want people to say it was okay.

I have a pretty big school, I've only been to two frats, they aren't that big either.

I don't know why that specific chapter asked that question. Could be they're trying to figure out if they can get away with hazing you. Could be they're figuring out who has a positive outlook on hazing and avoiding that person. I'm not that chapter so I have no idea.

I highly doubt a fraternity will admit they haze during rush, so really, you won't know until you go through pledging (if you get a bid) or if you know someone in the chapter.