Hardly drink.. should I even bother?
 

First of all, I just want to say that I know absolutely nothing about the recruitment process of Fraternities. However, I’m extremely interested in joining a frat at my school.

The problem here is that I hardly drink, and I’ve been drunk once and I hated it. I’m interested in joining a frat because of things far beyond partying and drinking, because I see the long term benefits and bonds that are formed. I go to parties, I have fun, and my best friend from high school was a borderline alcoholic lol. Its nothing that I haven’t seen before, and I actually enjoy being around it. But as for consuming, its just not for me. (I do drink casually, but not enough to become intoxicated)

Also, I’m a sophomore. I read somewhere that could hurt? Not sure why. But my grades are solid. Basically I’ve realized after about a year of school that I’m not happy with the routine I’ve settled into and the people I’m surrounded by. I have no problem meeting people, but the friends I’ve made just aren’t like me. I like sports, I like to play basketball, I like girls. Most ‘GDIs’ are just.... well.... nerdy, and not like me. Odds are if you’re reading this, you’re in a frat/surrority and you completely love it (I’ve never heard of anyone regretting joining). Imagine living in a new city feeling completely out of place. And if I just say ‘screw it’ and start drinking heavily, I’ll feel like I’ve lost a bit of my individuality which I value highly.

So basically, I just want to know more about recruitment. The main frat around here looks like Alpha Tau Omega. Although there’s a loooot more (University of Tennessee). If I stick to my guns, will that automatically kill my chances? Or should I just not bother, and continue to hate my friends? ha

Be brutally honest. If you need more information for some reason, ask. And if you read all of this, I appreciate you.

Glad you're interested. It differs depending on the school, but for most campuses, it's basically up to the individual fraternities to do recruitment. I heavily suggest consulting with your school's Greek Life Office for more information.

The usual case is that you meet people from the chapters you're interested in, and if they think you're a good fit, they will offer you a bid, or a formal invitation to join.

Also, please be aware that there are people who may find "frat" to be offensive. It's advised that you say the full word: fraternity.

I actually don't drink either. To be completely honest, there are some chapters that only drink and party (those don't stay around long), but there are at least as many that are about the friendships/bonds and live up to their values. If you join one of those (which I recommend), they will respect your desire to not drink.

If you're truly a good fit for a chapter, why wouldn't they give you a bid? Chapters often desire younger people because they can be a contributing member for a longer period of time, but sophomores are no issue. Don't worry about it.

Joining a fraternity is not about losing your individuality; it's about forming a brotherhood with people who share the same values as you.

I suggest that you check out all the chapters that you think you may be interested in. Even if you don't get bids from them, you will likely still end up with new friends.

Good luck!

There are fraternity members who choose not to drink or just 1 or 2 drinks and not get drunk. I was one of them. It will depend on your attitude. If you are at a rush party and it comes up, a good reply is: "I like having a good time, but I just don't care to drink. It's just not for me." This is also a good attitude to have if you get a bid and pledge. If you tell the brothers: "Y'all are a bunch of drunks - I'm so much better because I don't drink" (example, not saying that's your attitude), you'll either find yourself without a bid or a very lonely member.

Like I said, I was one of several members of my chapter who chose not to drink or drink very little. None of us made a big deal about it and none of the drinking brothers ever gave us grief over it. In fact, on a road trip to another chapter, a brother from that chapter began pressuring me to drink and made some mocking comments. Two of my chapter brothers stepped in and let the guy know that his actions weren't cool and very un-brotherly. It was good to know that they had my back.

Wow, thanks guys. Its really awesome to hear that there are some guys like me that got in and enjoyed every bit of it. I want that to be me.

I think I'm gonna go for it in the spring. Thanks again!

I also was unaware that 'frat' could be offensive. Thats good to know lol thanks for the heads up.

I also found that getting drunk was not really "me" and in general would not drink. When you are meeting members during rush I would be open and honest and politely (but firmly) decline offers to drink. If they don't back down or continually insist that you drink that is probably a warning sign that that particular chapter is not for you in the long run. If I met a potential new member who was interested in joining, didn't drink much, and had solid grades I would bid them in a heartbeat as it's those men that help build a lasting chapter and bonds. Men that simply continue the stigma generated from Animal House and want to do nothing but drink are the ones that can ruin a chapter. Good luck!

Not always true.

The I would bid them in a heartbeat part or they're the ones who build a lasting chapter/heavy drinkers ruin it part?

I completely agree that there are people who joined with no intention other than partying and ended up being the most dedicated brothers or sisters around. To dismiss someone because his/her intentions aren't completely lofty and high-minded is silly.

Frankly, call me crazy but I also think a chapter NEEDS some extremely fun guys who are all about partying and aren't planning on holding offices. It keeps the morale up and makes events, well, fun! You can have all the high achievers in the world, but if you are pledging mostly guys who are not into partying it's going to feel more like a business than a fraternity. There were guys in our house who never held a position who gave more to their fraternity than some who did simply because they brought a level of energy, extroversion and novelty that we would have lacked otherwise.

That being said, if you don't drink it's not going to be a problem for a lot of chapters. We definitely pledged guys who didn't drink, some stayed sober until graduation and some developed into borderline alcoholics one month into pledging. If you're worried about peer pressure, take a close look at the chapter vibe. Some chapters are going to have a much heavier focus on partying than others.

Oh come on, you know as well as anybody that that is not true.

The 'heavy drinkers ruin it' part.

Some of my chapter's most dedicated, hardworking people have been ridiculous party animals. Some of our most worthless members have been those who don't party/drink.

In my current pledge class, we have a 24 year old, a 17 year old, and several kids who just had their first drink at the bid party (including myself). If you want tojoin a frat understand there are parties, and drinking does occur. However, most times your pledge will be dry.

That depends.

ATO and ADA are the only wet pledges on campus. Of course, there are times when you might be allowed.

Chapters had some trouble with facebook several years back ... risk management is very important.

Yes, risk management is important, but that doesn't stop college students from doing dumb things. Even if chapters are dry on paper, some folks still bend the rules. So, it depends.