How bad is it to miss your first chapter meeting?
 

I just received a bid from a sorority and I'm really excited to join. I went to a new member meeting today and tomorrow we have mandatory council meetings, study hour, and chapter meeting where we're going to do our pledge ceremony.

I already made plans for this Sunday and I don't want to get out of them. My pledge mom texted all of us asking if we were going to be able to go - so since she ASKED, I'm assuming I'm allowed to say no? What happens if I miss a meeting?

It would NOT be good to miss your pledging ceremony. If your previously made plans aren't good enough to use as an excuse, then you should probably go to your meeting.

Think about how it would look if you were hired for a job and you missed the mandatory training session for your first day of work.

You need to go to that meeting.

Are you friggin kidding me? Since she ASKED, you think you're allowed to say no? Are you that dumb?

You miss that pledge ceremony, you miss the opportunity to experience something special as a new member. I wouldn't be surprised if members will question your commitment to the sorority. I'm surprised you even think it's an option. In my chapter, you miss that pledge ceremony, you're not pledged. It's mandatory...no ifs, ands, or buts.

There are girls out there who didn't even get a bid. It's a shitty feeling to know that someone who did isn't even taking her pledgeship seriously. :rolleyes:

Unless it's class or a major religious obligation, you need to go to your pledging ceremony. What are the alternatives- not pledging, or asking the chapter to hold an entire separate ceremony at your convenience? If you are serious about joining a sorority, it's going to have to be a priority and a serious commitment. If you can't commit to that, you should seriously reconsider accepting your bid.

You gotta go to that meeting, you really don't want them to question your loyalty so early on in your greek career.

If you have to ask, it's probably not important enough as an excuse. You better go to the pledging ceremony. Here's why:

1.) If you commit to the sorority, you're going to feel extremely bad that you missed the ceremony.

2.) If you won't be committed to the sorority, you shouldn't be joining the sorority in the first place.

If you had plans with friends, you should move them around. Just tell them that you have an important meeting scheduled.

Gosh, I still remember mine and it was 20+ years ago. Couldn't imagine missing it.

Bad idea. When I was an active, we had three girls miss their planned New Member initiation. One missed because of a serious religious obligtion (not just Sunday Services), one missed because her brother was seriously ill, and one missed because she had "scheduled things for that day".

Guess which one never made it to Active Initiation?

Unless it's a major religious holiday (although I doubt they'd be holding pledging on a major holiday), a family emergency, or you're going out of town for a professional conference, you really, really, really need to be there. There are very few reasons that "other plans" would justify missing your first chapter and pledging ceremony.

Military
 

I recognize that class commitments and religious reasons are legitimate excuses for missing an initiation but, I'd also like to point out certain military events are, as well.

While I was in college, I was really concerned that I'd miss initiation because I had to drive 4 hours (one way) to my military base for drill. Getting out of drill for ANYTHING short of someone dying was like pulling teeth and it never happened for us. I'm not saying the OP is in the military but, I wanted to make sure for any pnm reading this that sometimes military service takes priority over initiation IF (and only if) you are unable to get out of drill that weekend. Unless your Commander is Greek (which mine wasn't)-you may have a hard time getting out of it. Even if your Commander is Greek, he or she may still have a problem with you not making it to drill.

Thankfully, I didn't have to worry about it because they scheduled our initiation on a weekend I didn't have drill but, my unit used to go as far as scheduling two drills a month for "special" trainings.

I just want everyone to be aware that there may also be another legitimate reason, should they chose to bid someone with military commitments.

The OP posted that she made plans that she doesn't want to get out of. Ah, yes. OP, you will have this same type of situation happen over and over throughout adulthood. Sure, I'd rather go to the movies and shopping with my bestie, but I have an exec board/conference/work/etc... meeting. Guess which one doesn't happen? (Yes, of course I'm disappointed because I would rather go shopping and hang out with friends! That's just normal.) Making the difficult choices isn't fun especially when you miss out on a more preferred activity.

Something you CAN'T' get out of and something you DON'T WANT TO get out of are completely different. If it's a can't situation, chapters understand that. It's the don't want to that make us question dedication.

Additionally, don't think that being dishonest about the reason you would miss would work. I've seen plenty of times when someone claimed "sick" to get out of a mandatory event such as a recruitment workshop or officer training and then was seen out and about town later that day/night. School campuses are not that big.

As everyone has said, you need to go. Plans with friends, parties, etc. are not reasons to miss chapter at all, especially when it's your first one as well as your pledging ceremony. Unless it is an excuse that would be valid for class or work (legal obligations, serious illness, family emergencies or funerals, or university obligations), you need to go. Your plans can be rearranged. This is not the first time you'll have to make this choice by any means, and it's a good lesson in priorities, because in the real world you'll hold down a job and you'll need to show up unless you have a damn good reason not to.

MissNoelle: congratulations on your bid. Hope your sister also found a home.

Since you asked, I'm answering. How bad is it? HORRIBLE. What kind of message are you sending? Think about it. Just think.

And you're blowing it right at the starting line, not even out of the gate; you're missing out on the initial stages of forming connections with your sisters. You're already a bit behind the curve, because you're not a freshman.* Now you want to step just a little further outside the circle? Not smart, girl, not smart at all.

You're hearing from GCers in many of the GLOs and we all have the same response and reaction to what you asked. There's your sign.

*ETA: your first post on GC states you're a freshman. Older than the typical freshman, but you say you are a freshman, as is your 18-year-old sister.