Is hazing the best way?
 

I am wanting to help change a new member program so that hazing is completely phased out. It is not "so bad" as it could be, but it still exists nonetheless.

This being the case, what other people/groups out their have dealt with this transition before?

How did you deal with sentiments such as:

• "this is the way it has always been"
• "it teaches respect"
• "they have to earn it...its the best worst time of your life, but when your fnished you really feel like you have earned something"
• "If we eliminate that part of the pledge process, they won't be nearly as respected"
• "I did it, so should they"
• "It's not so bad...and its gotten much better"
• etc

What was your "pledging" process like? I am looking for new and innovative ideas.

Please HELP!

It depends on how you define hazing.

It's really hard for us to answer without knowing more about what the "hazing" entails, and whether you're a national (who's not following the nationally mandated program and wants to get on board) or a local (who doesn't have as strict of rules, but wants to change for your own good).

I will say that the WORST way to go about eradicating hazing is to completely demean any merit that the current pledge program has. Unless you do nothing but beat them and make them drink 24/7, every program has SOMETHING positive underlying it. Focus on the positive and try to get back to it, rather than harping on the negative.

Fraternity or sorority?

I am talking about a fraternity. I know about and am familiar with national standards (i've given myself a crash course recently). I guess what I am more looking for is a way to eliminate the hazing altogether. Even something as simple as wallsits, which don't seem that bad, seem to contrast the national standard because it is something phyhscial being asked of them.

Has someone gone through a successful program that did not involve hazing, but they still felt that stong sense of brotherhood/sisterhood? You know, the one that everyone says "hazing" is supposed to instill? I think if I can help introduce a new program that can garner the same "results", there will be more buy-in.

Moreover, if anyone feels comfortable doing so, please share what your pledging experience was like..

1. Don't bid worthless people. That way, you won't need to 'weed them out'

2. Follow your national guidelines and procedures

This was posted recently and has great answers to those questions:
http://www.sigmanu.org/documents/forty_answers.pdf

And yes, I went through a successful program that did not involve hazing but still felt that strong sense of sisterhood. Hazing breeds fear, resentment, and inbred idiocy. Holding sisterhood-building events (or brotherhood in your case) enables the new members to get to know one another, have fun, and live the principles of the new organization. Most GLOs were founded on sisterhood/brotherhood, academics, service, support, compassion, etc. Not hazing. We were not founded on wall sits and the ability to do wall sits does not make you a better member.

What mine looked like... We met weekly to learn about the sorority and chapter. We had casual lunches and dinners with our pledge class & actives. Actives decorated our doors with balloons and welcome messages. We had a sleepover. We did crafts projects (painted pottery, made jewelry, etc). We played games. We got to know people. We had fun. Nothing new and innovative there- we just weren't hazed.

What kind of organization is this? If this is a national organization, I would think that you have an official national process that you should be following - nothing more, nothing less. Follow it.

There is a national standard and that is what i am wanting move towards. On the same note, I love my brothers and this brotherhood. There is always resistance to change, that is obvious. I am looking for either advice or what others have successfully gone through or implemented this kind of change.

I want to create change but not at the expense of losing half of my brothers. They really are not bad people, they just don't know anyother way. That's why I am posting on a public forming and seeking assistance/guidance.

Haven't I seen you post in The Root?

Your name looks familiar.

I am not sure what the Root is

So, you're a good person and you want to improve your chapter - awesome, congratulations!

I know a lot of guys like you, in fact I've been a guy like you, and the biggest mistake good guys on a mission make is in their delivery. A lot of times it's easy to get caught up in your good ideas and forget that you need to translate it to people the right way. Don't be abrasive, don't overwhelm people - take baby steps, don't insult something that they think is right and working and "made" them into good brothers. Like 33girl said, don't demean something that has made a personal impact in their life, just try to translate it into something that is legal and in line with the values of your organization. Finding a program isn't hard, your national organization has given you that, what you need is to gently convince your chapter that it is going to have more successful results than what you're doing now.

Yes, hazing is the best way. Thanks for asking.

Thank you for your reply...it is very insightful and helpful