Worried about recruitment
 

Hi Everyone!

At my college you are not eligible for recruitment until after your freshman year. I am worried that this will really harm my ability to receive a bid at one of the few chapters at my small school. My freshman year I was friends with some girls and spent a lot of time with them. However one night in the fall I met this great guy who I started spending a lot of time with. Long story short I grew apart from my friends, but I didn't mind since I looked forward to spending time with the boy. However, once the spring semester came around things went downhill. He went abroad. I was alone. I made some friends but then had a falling out with them in Aprilish because I disagreed with something that one of them was doing and confronted that person. Now I was pretty much all alone. Finals week though I made some friends. Flash forward to this fall. I have plenty of "friends". People I can go to meals with or talk to before classes or possibly hang out with occasionally. People who I'll say hi to when passing by. However I don't have any real friends who I spend time with. I sit in my room and do homework or go to the library and do homework most of the time.

Tonight we had our first recruitment event as it is now starting at my school. I am worried that my lack of friends and a social life is really going to harm me. I spoke to a bunch of girls and introduced myself to almost all of the chapters that were present. I mentioned that I knew a girl who was in one of the chapters that I am most interested in and to my delight the girls were really excited and started talking to me. I tried to keep up the conversation but was being pushed out by other girls wanting to talk to them and eventually their interest in me faded.

To make a long story short, I am worried that my shyness will harm me in the end. I was wondering if you wonderful ladies had any advice to give me... I am also hoping that I did not give too much information about myself....

Thanks!

Worried.

You can't worry about your past. Just deal with what you have now and stay positive and friendly. If you stay open to making new friends you should be fine. It sounds like you've done fine so far, just keep at it.

Your story sounds exactly, and I do mean EXACTLY, like mine. Except (unfortunately) my boy didn't go abroad second semester. LOL.

Just stay positive and don't let loudmouth fellow rushees run roughshod over you. If a sorority member permits that during a conversation, it probably isn't a place where you want to be.

You actually might be better off than some people who go into rush with 3 or 4 of their superclose friends, making the sororities feel pressured to bid all of them (even if they don't want all of them) to get the one they REALLY want. Having been in this situation, it's really obnoxious. I would much rather see the girl who's open and making a fresh start on her own.

Also: quit talking about your shyness or identifying yourself as a shy person. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. You are ladylike, not shy. :) Good luck!

I'm trying to stay positive! Luckily for me I am such an indecisive person that I know I will not be going into recruitment being all gung ho on a certain house. I am really excited about it and since I can be a worrier (inherited it from my mom..) I just couldn't help myself! Like now I'm currently worried about my GPA. My freshman year was a rough year and since I was taking some of the tougher courses compared to other members of my year, my GPA isn't as stellar. It is above the schools set standard and from what I can tell it is above each individual houses set number. Plus I know that this year will be a much better year for me since I am much more excited and interested in the classes I'm taking and I know I will do well in them.

About the girl who stopped talking to me, she didn't really permit anything to happen. There were about 90-100 girls standing in a room meant for like 50 so it was pretty crowded and everyone was getting like pushed around the room by people on either side trying to get to the tables...

It all starts on wednesday! I'm pretty nervous but at the same time super excited!

Thanks again for your advice ladies, it's much appreciated :)