Informing Alums their legacy was released
 

Good morning :)

Is it now standard practice to notify the Alum that their legacy going through Recruitment has been released? And if so, who at the chapter level is normally responsible for this? A collegiate? An alumna?

When I got that call I was caught off guard. And it was very difficult knowing before my child knew.

That would be a policy that would probably differ based on each sorority and sometimes each chapter.

agreed. I can only speak for my sorority, and it is our national policy that we do not contact alums to notify them when a legacy is released

I sure would not want to be the advisor making those calls for a chapter!

AoPiMommy, we try to notify to AOII in question as a courtesy anytime a legacy is released. Ideally this would be before the PNM is notified so that the AOII sister isn't the "last to know" and can be prepared to offer support to her PNM when she calls upset. Usually an alum calls with the news, but that is not always possible.

I'm sorry that your daughters were released, but Im glad you got the courtesy call. As hard as it is to know before they did, many sisters complain when they didn't receive the call that they were blindsided.

Speaking only for Phi Mu, it used to be standard practice to notify the member when a PNM legacy was released. Within the last few years, however, that policy has changed--I believe it was because of privacy concerns.

I may have mentioned this before. I went through NPC recruitment as an undergrad, because I was curious. When I was released by the chapter of which I was a legacy, my mother was contacted. That part was ok. It was the fact that the alumna (who coincidentally was in my mother's pledge class) said something to the effect of "You know she isn't XYZ material." That set my mother off.

I think these calls/letters can go south VERY easily and have to be handled with the utmost sensitivity.

Whooooaaaaa. Who gets off on saying something like that to a PNM's MOTHER?

I suppose if it was handled sensitively it might be ok. I dunno, I could live without this practice.

I think it would be a terrible call to make or receive, no matter who did it or how it was done. I can totally relate to your first gut reaction - would have probably been mine too!
Maybe this is why more groups are doing away with the practice? I have had lots of phone calls after the pnm was cut and reported back to legacy relation, and I have talked those alums through it. It is kind of nice to be able to say, "Who knows what those actives were thinking? This is rush and it is a crazy animal. Anything can happen." Not a great answer but better than saying something negative.

in my 2nd post I was trying to describe - albeit insensitively - what I was feeling. My apologies for venting on the boards.

I encourage any member who has a bad experience with these conversations to call their headquarters to discuss the issue. I don't think this needs to be an accusatory conversation but rather a discussion to improve the process. If the program needs to be abolished, so be it, but it may just be that the people making these calls need to be better educated on how to make a proper call to a sister to relay this kind of news. I'm sure that once you give the news, many people feel pressured to give a "Why." (Not even by the sister, but a personal feeling of pressure because they feel bad about having to deliver such news.) This is not appropriate, since any reason will just end up being hurtful no matter how reasonable it sounds to the person giving the reason. The point of the call is ONLY to give the sister a heads up so she is prepared to council her PNM, not to explain reasoning behind the release.

AoPiMommy...don't worry about it! Alpha Love!

My first position in my chapter was Recs Chair. We had specially printed cards to send out to alumnae whose legacy was released. It was something like "AB Chapter regretfully informs (alumna name) that your legacy (PNM name) was released from rush. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact (Province Director) at 555-555-5555."

Of course, the times which those cards were used were few and far between - there just weren't as many legacies at our school that other schools would have.

I'm afraid that Legacy/Phone Calls is not something that is touchy everywhere, it doesn't matter the chapter. One of my BFs is a Kappa and she's shared stories of phone calls about their legacies. (anonymous of course!)

Yes, there are sometimes chapters who have collegians call who still need some maturity when it comes to handling delicate news and phone calls.

But I think the biggest problem is setting expectations with the alum who think that either a) the adviser calling was personally responsible in voting or b) place WAY too much pressure on their legacy.

I was a rush/recruitment adviser for several years at a JWH chapter and thankfully only on two occasions did a phone call take a turn for the worse. and I consider myself tactful and professional.

On both occasions the mom/alumna just could not wait for their legacies to rush and they contacted us in the months leading up to it, etc. etc..

I couldn't get these particular alumnae to understand that it wasn't MY choice, it's just how the cards fell. I wasn't a horrible person that schemed to release their daughters and be unceremonious or undignified about it. All of you should know how little say alumnae have in how collegians vote. You're just there to manage the process.

The first mother was absolutely insisting to know why. I should have said that it was just how the processed worked and let it be.

The daughter was miserable at our functions and actually told the girls she didn't want to be there, and so I made the mistake of saying "She says she is more comfortable with some of the other sororities. She will probably be happier with another group of girls, it will work out for the best."

Terrible mistake. That created such a firestorm, I should not have said that. The mom called the poor daughter to dress her down for having told the girls how she felt. Then GA's are getting phone calls. We're trying to get our lists in to the office on time. It was such a disruption that consumed more time than it should have.

This mom continued to call me personally, months later to continue to rant and say that the sorority her daughter pledged is far superior and wonderful and that she's glad she didn't pledge us, etc. etc. and for YEARS she would talk about me badly to anybody who would listen.

And the second occasion was a recent alumna and was so upset about her legacy being released and I just dreaded making that phone call because I knew it was going to end up being trouble no matter what I said.

Sure enough recent alumna blew her top and even went so far as to threaten to "go find me" which thankfully did not happen.

At the end of the day, I think that this tradition of calling shows that we care about our sisters and their feelings enough to reach out to them.

Ok, you could have said it differently, but to be fair you had no idea the mother would be batshit crazy.

I believe we had a case of that at our chapter, but we get few legacies, so at least incidents are rare.