When Is It No Longer Wort It?
 

So for the longest time I have always preached to my chapter that "The time you spend trying to recruit someone that all of the other Fraternities are after, you could have been recruiting five other guys!"

I always encouraged my brothers not to get too caught up on someone who is being heavily competed over, but then this summer hit, and I met the star PNM of 2010.

Not to sound too gay or anything, but this guy is everything you'd want out of a Fraternity Brother. Athlete, scholar, very friendly and funny, service minded, and an incredible leader in high school. Best of all, he is registered for recruitment.

It just started off with us and one other Fraternity competing over him, and then seemingly out of nowhere I start hearing about all of the Fraternities inviting him out to their events. I love this guy, and I think he would be a great brother, but just getting face-time with him is going to take an extra person.

So I ask. When is it time to give up and work on someone else?

He's obviously going to have a big decision to make. Don't give up until you know he's going to go for another org.

I hate to be pre-emptive sour grapes or whatever, but consider the possibility that while he might be a great person and a great brother to claim, if he follows along the path he's trod before he may be spreading himself quite thin and a fraternity might just be another something that gets a small percentage of his time.

If you're cool with that, then no problem. But if your chapter's in anything resembling a rebuilding phase and you need members who are going to be working their butts off, you might be better served by finding less dazzling dudes who are going to be there a little more.

I could be totally off base on this, but just something to think about. I know it's different for guys than for girls, but I never thought the "face"/Big Man or Woman On Campus was worth it if they weren't actually there for their sisters or brothers.

Not sure your Greek life situation at your school, but what worked for us is hanging out and making the person feel like a member already. It's easier to say yes to people you're comfortable with then other groups who you've met maybe five people. You don't want to overwhelm him though, because then you'll seem desperate. It's a balancing act. If he feels like he's already in your group, it'll be harder for others to pull him away.

Plus, talking to the guy will give you the impression whether he is seriously interested or not. Introduce him to people who have things in common with him. Does he really like/follow -insert MLB team here-, pair him up with someone in the chapter who is the same or a huge baseball fan. Good conversation goes a long way.

But...

Even after all this, if your chapter doesn't have the qualities he wants, he might not join. If he wants a really involved group and yours isn't, it's going to be a hard sell. Even if he gets along well with you over all the other groups, he might not choose you based on your group's national reputation (I've seen this happen first hand. Guy hung out and got along with a very small and nationally small group but did not accept their bid and joined a bigger, more nationally known group. My chapter was shocked when we found out he left them and joined someone else).

And keep in mind that you might not even get him to join your org!

With all of the chapters battling over one guy, why not work to get a bunch of other new members? Keep working on getting the "Star PNM", but do it in the same manner as you do with all of the other potential brothers. If you all keep building him up as the 'OMG BEST POTENTIAL MEMBER IN THE WHOLE WORLD EVER', then the chapter will be extremely disappointed if he doesn't join, and that will be apparent to others (mainly, the other new members that you do gain).

As others have said, just try to make him (and all of your other potential members) feel at home. Do normal everyday things with them.. go to a movie, out to lunch, study together, etc. If a potential feels like he's already part of the group, he'll be more likely to join your chapter.

I say this without knowing Chi Phi's status on your campus...

Just because he's getting invited to other parties and XYZ "discovered" him, does not mean that he'll actually go there.

Everyone likes attention.

You just need to provide him a reason to join your organization over others. This usually means building a stronger connection / bond.

People don't join organizations based on the number of parties they throw. They join based on how they're treated.

Other orgs may be inviting him to parties, but that only shows that the other organizations appreciates his presence. There's a lot of other factors that have not been accounted for, and you need to make sure that your organization beats the others in that regard.

Whatever you do, don't do anything that'd alienate other great PNMs.

You're getting a lot of good advice, above.
Here's my advice: pick one of your Brothers to shadow the rushee. If you're the rush chairman it can't be you; you have your hands full organizing and motivating the chapter. The shadow befriends the rushee, stays in touch with him constantly and makes sure he's at your events.
Based on your description, there's a high liklihood he's one of two types: either he will respond strongly to the sincere attention/friendship that you and your chapter are paying him, or, he's going to be attracted to one of the top houses filled with other beautiful people.
It's always good to rush the blue chips/five star guys however you want to define them, and the other top houses are after, but this is important: when you eveluate your pledge class at the end of the week, you must consider whether you succeeded or not based on the class as a whole, and not on one guy.
And please, don't fall into the trap of assuming that rushees who are NOT as you have described your star ("Athlete, scholar, very friendly and funny, service minded, and an incredible leader in high school") are automatically 'hard workers'.

I don't think anyone said that. Just that the effort they have to give to snaring SuperRushee may not be returned in what he does for them. That hardly is the same as saying a complete schlub is going to work for the fraternity - you probably want somewhere between SuperRushee and the schlub.

33girl you're right, unfortunately. Using your terms, the 'SuperRushees' are attracted to the super chapters, and the 'schulbs' are attracted to the schlub chapters.
I get the impression the original poster wants to improve his chapter's standing in the pecking order. He sees this guy as a rung on that ladder.

This is an amazing piece of advice and is going into my new Recruitment Strategies and Trends Section. Good Post Firehouse

Seriously...

I'm wondering how this worked out.

Not well.

Rather than listening to the advice of my Fraternity Brothers, my fellow GC Brothers and Sisters, and my Chapter President I chose to pursue him until the bitter-end.

The more time I spent recruiting him, the more PNMs I ended up ignoring. I had already spent so much time and energy trying to recruit the dude, I just felt like I couldn't afford to lose him to another Fraternity.

Although I wouldn't have admitted it at the time, I ended up becoming a Facebook-stalking psycho, and probably ended up coming off more creepy than anything else. When I finally came to the realization that it was a lost cause, I completely lost all of my motivation to recruit anyone else.

I'm glad it happened though. I think everyone needs to lose a "rush-crush". It's humbling, and it gives you a better idea of what really doesn't work.

The rest of the Chapter did a great job recruiting though. We ended up doubling in size and jumping to the top of the IFC GPAs. I told the story to the Chapter during our most recent Recruitment-Retreat, and we all had a laugh about it.

As for the guy, he ended up being great in the Chapter he joined. He became the pledge class President, and he's really well-liked in the Greek Community.