GreekChat.com Forums - Hope for me?

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- Alumnae Initiation (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/forumdisplay.php?f=208)

- - Hope for me? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=113013)

No disrespect intended.

Quote:

Originally Posted by beatlesfan87 (Post 1918787)

I have been regretting the fact that I was not in a sorority for several years now. I am hoping to learn more about alumnae initiates.

When I was a freshman in college I went to a big states school that I decided on last moment, kind of dragged my feet to rush, and ended up dropping out of rush. Everything seemed to go wrong my freshman year (ended up on upperclassman floor, no roommate no less), I was homesick, and I transferred to a school at home so I could commute. Because I was a commuter living at home, I did not consider joining one of my commuter school's sororities. But I began volunteering and getting involved in all kinds of activities and started noticing that a lot of the women I found myself around were sorority women. I have SO regretted that I wasn't a part of a sisterhood and a dedication to scholarship and philanthropy. I encouraged my younger sister to join a sorority, and the difference I see in her is amazing (she joined Chi Omega, by the way). I cannot tell you how upset it makes me to think I would never be part of a sorority until a friend told me about alumna initiation. I looked into it, and much to my surprise, the two sororities that I had felt such a bond with on my very first day of rush when I was a freshman in college, engage in alumna initiation.

I know so much more about myself now than I did when I was an undergraduate. I have a better sense of priorities, and a greater level of dedication to the activities I engage in.

Anyway, I was hoping you could give me some more information about AI. I have a close friend from one of the sororities, and a family member from the other.

Some things to think about:

Every sorority handles AI differently. With some, it is perfectly acceptable to contact the hQ for info concerning it. In others, women must be approached by another member in order to join. Your friends are the best source of info concerning their org's protocol. If they don't know, they probably know someone who does.

Being an alumna member of a sorority is QUITE different from being a collegian. I like to make sure that people understand that before really pursuing AI further. Some women are looking to join to make up for what they missed out on in college, and the 2 experiences are VERY different.

Really really think about "Why do I want to be a _____?" Members will want to know "why is she interested in us?" It has to be more than "I wanted to be a ____ in college but wasn't extended a bid."

Ask yourself: What can I contribute to ______? It's definitely not all about what you will gain from being a ____. Sororities want to know what a person is going to bring to the table to serve the organization.

It's not an overnight process and it is very different from collegiate recruitment. Poke around this forum a little bit. There are some women who took YEARS to be invited to join their orgs as alumnae. Are you prepared for that (if it should happen to take that long?)

You should talk to your friend and family member first. Randoms on the intarwebs don't have the incentive to give you accurate information.

Also, sororities gain most of their members through collegiate recruitment. AI isn't the "norm" mode of joining a sorority. So it's possible that your friends may not be 100% familiar with how it works. Honestly, I wasn't familiar with it until I came to GC. So don't be alarmed if you ask them about it and they have to look it up, or have no clue what you are talking about.

Also, it may or may not be approriate within their sorority for you to approach them about joining.

Quote:

Originally Posted by beatlesfan87 (Post 1918787)

Are you shopping even before you've graduated? http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=94306

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush (Post 1918798)

Are you shopping even before you've graduated? http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=94306

Oh man.

Yeah, you might want to graduate first.

AI = after college.

I also just wanted to put this out there: AI is not some sort of "fix" for those who didn't get a bid in college.

It appears that you have had multiple unsuccessful rushes. You also mentioned that the groups you're interested in are groups who were active at your school. So I'm assuming you were cut by them during recruitment at some point.

Not saying that this is what you think, but it happens sometimes that people pursue AI as a "backdoor way" of getting into a sorority that didn't bid them in college.

The women who post here who are AIs can attest to the fact that that is not what it is for. They all bring something to the table for their orgs. As I said above, if you are serious about being initiated as an alumna, you're going to need to have more to say than "I rushed in college and didn't get a bid."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush (Post 1918798)

Are you shopping even before you've graduated? http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=94306

Good detective work!

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1918801)

Oh man.

Yeah, you might want to graduate first.

AI = after college.

I also just wanted to put this out there: AI is not some sort of "fix" for those who didn't get a bid in college.

Not saying that this is what you think, but it happens sometimes that people pursue AI as a "backdoor way" of getting into a sorority that didn't bid them in college. The women who post here who are AIs can attest to the fact that that is not what it is for. As I said above, if you are serious about being initiated as an alumna, you're going to need to have more to it than "I rushed in college and didn't get a bid."

Based on her other posts, she would be graduating this semester.

Sigh.

Alumnae initiation is NOT for women who have already been cut by the collegiate chapter of the sorority they wish to AI into. If I ever heard that one of the women we cut had managed to talk her way into being AIed, to quote my 4little, every last head would be rolling right on up to Longwood. If you've stayed in the same area and members of the chapter you rushed in college are in the alum chapter you join, WTF is going to be the LEAST of their comments.

What you propose is extremely disrespectful.

I also just saw the area you're in. Ummm, wow, you might as well go unicorn and dodo bird hunting because I honestly think you'll have more luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1918811)

What you propose is extremely disrespectful. I won't get into how annoyed I am that you're sullying the Beatles with your username.

Beat me too it!!!

Wow thanks for all the quick responses.

Actually I already graduated--early. And, I only went through one rush, which I dropped, during my freshman year in college.

I can understand why some would think this is a backdoor way to joining a sorority and I realize I would have to overcome that stigma.

I also understand that AI would be nothing like joining as a collegiate.

I'm sorry you feel that I have disrespected sororities. I sincerely wanted to be a part of a strong group of women who did good. I have also looked into joining a junior league, which is probably what I will end up doing.

Put yourself in my shoes--you have long regretted the choice you made back in college, transferred to a school where it would be impossible to join (as a commuter, at least I thought so), and realize that you could give a good deal to an alumna chapter. I thought that would make me a good candidate but I can see why this seems questionable, again I apologize for "disrespecting" sororities by so admiring them that I wanted to be a part. I sincerely thank you for the information, and I hope there is no bad blood.

Just a couple other quick explanations--

I underwent a big change after my freshman year, having weight loss surgery. I am the first to admit that I was insecure, unhappy, undirected, unsociable before. The surgery itself did not cure me of my insecurities, but I have, since then, learned to love myself a bit more. I had surgery for health and personal reasons, and realized that all the baggage I carried made it hard for me to get along with people, much less myself. I think I mentioned my weight loss in a previous post but it's taken me a while to be comfortable talking about the surgery.

Anyway, I started getting involved, was in a mock legislature, debate, several community service orgs. I was going to transfer back to the big state school but opted out and to graduate early instead. When I thought about transferring, I considered going through rush again, but I did not transfer and so I did not rush.

I know this is probably unnecessary information. It was silly of me to consider AI, but I really intended no harm.

Quote:

Originally Posted by beatlesfan87 (Post 1918820)

And, I only went through one rush, which I dropped, during my freshman year in college.

It doesn't matter if you rushed multiple times or dropped out before completing the process. The point is that (according to your previous posts) the chapters cut you.

You said you were cut by "almost" every house - if you had stayed with the process, who knows, you might be in a sorority now. I know the cuts can be brutal but that's how big schools are, and your family (being sorority members themselves) really should have prepared you for it more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by beatlesfan87 (Post 1918820)

Wow thanks for all the quick responses.

Actually I already graduated--early. And, I only went through one rush, which I dropped, during my freshman year in college.

I can understand why some would think this is a backdoor way to joining a sorority and I realize I would have to overcome that stigma.

I also understand that AI would be nothing like joining as a collegiate.

I'm sorry you feel that I have disrespected sororities. I sincerely wanted to be a part of a strong group of women who did good. I have also looked into joining a junior league, which is probably what I will end up doing.

Put yourself in my shoes--you have long regretted the choice you made back in college, transferred to a school where it would be impossible to join (as a commuter, at least I thought so), and realize that you could give a good deal to an alumna chapter. I thought that would make me a good candidate but I can see why this seems questionable, again I apologize for "disrespecting" sororities by so admiring them that I wanted to be a part. I sincerely thank you for the information, and I hope there is no bad blood.

You're a 22 year old recent college graduate with no collegiate chapter experience. What could you possibly offer to an alumnae chapter or as a collegiate adviser? Maybe once you have several years of life and work experience you can re-think this. Seriously, this is really sounding like you are a girl who just wants to be able to wear letters and fix one of the wrongs that happened in your life when you were a big angry girl. (I mean that with all sincerity and not with snarkiness.) It 's disrespectful to treat AI like "Yay! I graduated and changed! Kin i haz sorority nowz?"

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1918811)

Especially if they had a good reason for cutting you. I'm not saying in any way, shape, or form that they did, but it might not have just been your weight. Membership selection goes way beyond your pants size.

Just because you have to make cuts does not mean that some of those cuts are not willingly done. There are several girls I would be beyond pissed to see in my alum chapter....