Pregnancy and Pledging...
 

I should start this off by explaining I'm alumni to a college-wide sorority, not a nationwide one. We are full of super unique girls... We're a lot like the sorority on 'House Bunny' except that most of us aren't social outcasts, we just walk a different line (ranging from super christian to atheist, peircings and tattoos to 'pure', and every size woman you can think of).

This year, one of our potential pledges is pregnant. Being a college sponsored group, our entire schedule of activities is approved by college staff and therefore we don't have any crazy hazing like paddles or anything sexual. However, we do a LOT of marching.

Arrangements have already been made for a wheelchair (which, oddly enough, we've had to use for 6-7 years straight now because of outside injuries like hip and knee problems). Coming off of a pregnancy myself, I'm worried about the added stress Greek Week adds. Plus our Greek Week always coincides with midterms, which just means more stress.

Are there any suggestions of ways to handle this? Particularly things we might be able to do so she is still working with her sisters but perhaps isn't as stressed out about it? Or, anything in particular people would recommend avoiding?

Thanks for the help, if anyone can :)

QFP.

So what, she isnt a pledge yet? How far along is she? Marching? So you walk around alot? I would need a little more detail but at this point I would tell her to spend her dues money on her child and not a sorority.

Uh - marching? Please tell me you're a band sorority or something.

The type of pledge process that your sorority engages in and that your college approves of is not the type of process that most members of GreekChat are accustomed to or are able to provide guidance on.

I suggest speaking to the person at your college who approves the pledge activities to get their opinion.

I strongly discourage you from sharing any more details about your pledge program, sorority, or college on this message board.

Good luck!

If you have two classes a year, maybe she could wait and go through with the next pledge class (in the fall) instead?

Also, ask her about her physical health and what her doctor's advised before making provisions for her. Every woman is different, pregnant or not. She might be able to do far more than you were able to in your pregnancy, she might be able to do far less. I mean, it could be that just the mental strain of pledging (balancing it with classes, etc - I don't mean mental hazing) proves too difficult for her.

Unless you are a band or a bunch of Saints making their way into Heaven, why the marching?

Sorority dues are expensive...babies are WAY more expensive... Unless this girl is loaded AND has a full time sitter that can watch the baby while she goes to class AND sorority events, she needs to focus on school and expenses.

Also, marching is going to jeopardize the health of her and the baby. If that is something she's going to have to do, then best not to pledge her, imo.

It's a local sorority. Their dues are more than likely far less than national dues.

I think that there are alot of things to take into consideration before the decision is made. I think you need to have a very serious conversation with her explaining the expectations after she would become a member. You should probably find out what her doctor advises she do... speak to your greek life office about how they say/think you should handle the situation and discuss internally everyone's comfort level with the situation to decide whether or not all parties are in agreement.

Do the actives march as well? Did you have to do it? When you were pg, would you have wanted to be marching all over campus?

Wondering out loud what marching has to do with scholarship, service or honesty...

But they don't do any "crazy hazing" like paddling or anything sexual. That would definitely not have to do with scholarship, service or honesty. :rolleyes:

Im an alumna of my sorority and one of the active sisters just had a baby, she has made an agreement with the chapter to be able to do things to her ability. If you should do whatever you feel is right and talk it over with the chapter and her as well.. communication is key

Not that it's relevant to whether or not a pregnant woman should be pledging, but pregnant women aren't invalids. Maybe it's because I'm an athlete and hang out with a lot of other runners/triathletes, but every pregnant woman I know has continued to work out a lot. One of my friends even ran the Boston Marathon last year at 6 months pregnant. But who knows what "marching" actually entails.

For some people, that is true. Both my sisters ran into their 8 months of pregnancies. But that is a choice. Being made to do "a LOT of marching" tells me that it probably happens at any time of day (or night!). I know that pregnant women have a lot of uncomfortable days. Pregnant bodies do funny things and sometimes, a girl just doesn't feel like MARCHING. Being wheeled around in a wheelchair probably isn't that comfortable, either. Which is another oddity to me:

"Arrangements have already been made for a wheelchair (which, oddly enough, we've had to use for 6-7 years straight now because of outside injuries like hip and knee problems)."

I cannot believe for one minute that "Being a college sponsored group, our entire schedule of activities is approved by college staff".

It is hazing, pure and simple. And if you haze a pregnant woman, shame on you twice.

You don't know that it's hazing. It might be against the rules of your own organization, but if it doesn't violate any laws and the college approves of it, it's really not your place to call it hazing.