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- - My KKG Friend (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=111849)

Hi,

How can I delete the original post? I've received plenty of answers to my original post. Thanks.

Okay, seriously, I don't get what your issue is here. Did you imply that you were a Kappa? If not, just tell her that you aren't one. I'm sure that Kappa doesn't have a rule that says forever Kappas cannot be friends with non-Kappas. You're making things weird where they really shouldn't be.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeverPledged (Post 1902416)

Hi,

I did not participate in sorority rush at my college for a few reasons, but I always wanted to be a KKG and one of my mentors was a KKG (she always wanted me to rush and become one as well.)

Long story short, I know the basics about the sorority and recently became friends with a woman I know for certain is KKG. I can tell she is trying to find out if I am a Kappa as well and it's hard for me because obviously I'm not sure how to respond and I find myself feeling sad that I never did become a Kappa.

I'm not sure what to say to her or if I should keep ignoring her inquiries, I feel like eventually she will figure out I'm not a Kappa and drop it, but as I said it is bittersweet.

She had made remarks about her grandmother and lately the sapphire necklace that will be her something blue to wear to an event we are planning together. She pulled me aside to show me her dress and it seemed very pointed that she wanted to mention the necklace and blue shoes in particular ("something blue".)

Should I say something or not? I think I know I should just ignore her and it will go away but it is hard because I know what she is talking about and wish I could answer her as a Kappa but I know I can't. I don't want her to feel betrayed by letting her know I'm not a Kappa even though I can tell she's trying to find out if I am as well. I don't want to be a disappointment to her as I already feel a disappointment myself.

Thanks,
NeverPledged

I think you're applying your own issues to the situation. I'm pretty sure she would just say, "Are you a Kappa too?" if she wanted to know. You're displacing your own disappointment on your new friend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeverPledged (Post 1902416)

Long story short

That never works.

As far as I can tell, you led this new friend to believe that you're a Kappa with some of the "basic info" you have, or in some other way (like non-basic info from your overly gabby "mentor") and now you're busted.

If you did that, pardon me if I don't feel the least bit sorry for you. The minute you sensed her fishing, you should have immediately said "oh, sorry you misunderstood, I'm not a Kappa, one of my best friends was and she talked a lot about the sorority. Sorry if you were confused or if I mentioned things I'm not supposed to know as a non-member."

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1902424)

Hell, if someone was hinting around that they were an AOII, I'd just come out and ask them if they were an AOII. What's up with all this fishing?

Neverpledged...If you don't want to look like a complete freak who is trying to fake her way into Kappa, own up to the misunderstanding ASAP. Ask her is she's a Kappa and tell her that one of your best friends is too. You can say that you've always been very impressed with the organization although you've never had the pleasure to join.

Please don't pretend you're a Kappa if you're not. In this case, imitation is definitely not the highest form of flattery. This seems really bizarre...

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeverPledged (Post 1902427)

I thought perhaps she didn't want to overextend herself and ask directly if I was a Kappa so was dropping some kind of cue, but I get what you're saying that she would be more forthright.

This might be plausible if Kappa was some sort of secret society, such as exists at Yale, Harvard and a few others. It's not. Nobody's going to haul you to the pokey if you admit you joined it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel (Post 1902428)

Best answer. ^^And for all you know, your friend may or may not be a Kappa. It's simple, just ask point blank and then tell her about yourself.

PTITY?

No wait... you are no longer alive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeverPledged (Post 1902436)

What is PTITY?

You don't want to know!

I smell another question brewing...a la..How can I become a Kappa?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi (Post 1902448)

I smell another question brewing...a la..How can I become a Kappa?

That's exactly what I thought!

Might as well get right to the point... NO! You cannot become a Kappa.

To the OP: Please be careful not to misrepresent yourself in any fashion.

Over the years, I have met a handful of women who told me they were in one sorority or another, including my own. It always came to light that such was not the case. Made each woman look just a little... I don't know... just not quite right.

It is very easy to find out whether or not a person is truly affiliated with a particular GLO. There are alumnae panhellenic organizations in every state. We all talk with each other, at least in my experience.

This is the age of the internet. You can find out if someone is a member of your sorority in about half a second now. If she really wanted to know, she'd ask directly or look you up. There's no need to hint about it.