Action on the front lines
 

The enemy:

http://eatabagbuddy.50megs.com/new.jpg

...Our biological weapon of attack: antifreeze.
...weapon's application: dispersed around defence's perimeter (garbage bags)
...weapon effectivness: none.
...causalities: one (roommate).
...severity of attack: injured limb.
...counter attack: increased usage of biological warfare within perimeter...

...evidently the raccons have figured out how to avoid the anti-freeze, so against all logic my landlord took my advice and is preparing to spray the garbage itself within the bags.
showmenship mes amie, with this i'm going out on top - goodbye (greatest gc user of all time)....

cruise missile attack
 

Counter Attack!

http://eatabagbuddy.50megs.com/new2.jpg

the missiles (box laying on ground) was unsuccessful, however since the increased use of bio warfare the enemy has seem to be eliminated.

Smart and brave. Most animals would run before you could take a picture.

For future reference...
 

...may I suggest checking out www.flemingfarmsupply.com/traps.htm. They have humane traps for chipmunks, racoons and...dare I say it?...squirrels. Those should ensure a happy solution for all involved.

i don't think they're brave, they probably think we love them....hell if i was getting free smorgesborg everyday by a restuarant i'd be in love with them too...

Re: For future reference...
 

This is war between man and raccoon...only the strong survive.

At this point, humane has been thrown out the window....

that little bugger is lucky..I would have kung-fu styled his booty on the stairs...lol

d

that's right d...little exercise couldn't hurt that fat bastard

Re: Action on the front lines
 

Now this I must agree with! It is the truth and you shall be missed dood!

d

Here's a thought. Brace yourself, I know it's radical, but desperate times call for desperate measures... GARBAGE CANS! You know the kind with a lid that fastens. I really don't see the point of killing a racoon for doing what a racoon does, which is going for the easy target. If I were a racoon, or other scavenging animal, and saw your garbage just sitting in an easily tearable bag, I'd be there in a second with my little racoon teeth tearing away. Killing them may make these particular guys go away, but don't you think there are others waiting in the wings to take over?

...what a stupid comment....no i only leave the garbage in bags...
the cans are all chewed up, and if they weren't, the rodents would somehow find a way to open them.
...actually sometimes i open the bags for the raccons and spread the garbage all over the porch so they would have to risk hurting their little paws opening the bags...

Standby for statement from Secretary of Defense Billy Mac.......
 

Lil G, good lookin boar and sow coon you got there.

I have been coon hunting all my life. Got my first dog when I was 8 (McGinnis Tree Jammin Hanah), and have been hunting ever since. There aint much to do in the mountains of ky where I grew up, farm by day, coon hunt by night. I might be greek and I might be a college student, but that dont mean that I aint country.

Antifreeze is a logical solution. Until one night you cant sleep because of the high pitch screaming of one of those coons, or a cat, or a dog, that is getting its stomach eaten from the inside out Antifreeze is a horrible death for anything. The only thing that deserves that is Bin Laden. Now dont take me for some flaming liberal tree hugger, I aint that way. But im gonna try to help you and give that big boar coon a break (at least until i can get there with the dogs)

Go to your local feed store and get yourself a 50 lb. back of shelled corn. (Tell em BillyMac sent you) Put the bag of corn on the back deck, open, and let the coons find it. They will be in seventh heaven. If theres one thing a coon wont pass up its corn, Ann Howe. Once you have your area baited. You and your friends go to your local wal mart and purchase the following items:

1. Brinkman 1,000,000 candle power spotlight.
2. Some sort of repeating B B guns One for each of your friends.
3. Enough cheap beer to get a household of your buddies drunk.

Get smashed out of your minds. Strategically place yourself and your buddies in the windows of your apartment. (safety message inserted here) Give yourself good shooting lanes, make sure you wont hit any cars, people, or anything of value. Have one of your buddies man the light. When you know the coons have their fat asses in the feed sack, signal your buddy with the light to shine it on one. Then simotaniously you and your friends open fire on em. THis will be great fun for you and your friends, and a couple nights of it should solve your coon problems. Another good tip is to go to your local hardware store and buy a roll of tin. Wrap a piece of tin around all of the trees within gunshot of your house. This way when you open fire on them, the little buggers cant climb the trees to get away. This will give you a few more shots and will also push the coons farther away from your house, and possibly cut a boar and a sow away from their den.

Placeing lids on your trash cans will buy you some time too. Not that its gonna keep em out, but they will now have to take the time to open the cans. Coons are smart. I know a coon at our restaurant that comes on the deck everynight and drinks from the coke fountain. He knows how to work it and everything. They aint no dummies. Coons in town is caused by lack of suitable habitat (flowing water, hardwoods) and human food is the food of choice for them.

Keep the recipts to the light and the guns, and take em back when your done. Be sure to buy repeating b b guns so you can get as many shots as possible. The spotlight will need a 12 v power source also. Take a battery off your car for that.

Lifesaver, if this dont work we gonna have to go get the coons.

Excuse me. Touchy much? Grow up.

And you are absolutely right. Suggesting something as silly as a garbage can is an incredibly stupid comment. What ever was I thinking. :rolleyes:

Why is it that reading this particular post really made me ponder our war tactics. I know the afghanians have said it before, but put this way, with racoons, I see it in a much clearer light.

I'm not sure Sigma since I in no way was thinking about Afghanistan when I wrote it. I was thinking how cruel it is to feed antifreeze to an animal. But nice call, comparing a racoon to Osama Bin Laden. When did this board get so sensitive?

Well, I'm not sure which way this post is bent towards but it's like this.
First, The U.S. isn't attacking the afghani ppl, we are attacking the Taliban regime, a radical regime using religion
to try to gain support for their "holy war". To that end, we aren't attacking Islamic nations either..it's the Tailban radical movement. They've been warned before, they didn't listen. Will innocent civilians be killed..sadly yes, but the U.S. is serioulsy trying to minimize those casualties. Look at it like this, the Taliban are the ones that are setting up and using their civilians in war. They are placing men and artillery in villages because they know that the U.S. won't attack them. SOOO they are using these villagers to set an offensive against the u.s...an ambush kind of thing...that's them, not us.

Now on to the raccoons..it's called over-population and population control. Trapping them would probably the humane thing to do, but like it was stated before, "there will be more to take the place of those." Even if they are trapped, more will take their place, because raccoons are everywhere...it's all about population control....

d