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-   -   Non-greek lavaliering a greek girlfriend (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=110077)

nongreek123 01-05-2010 09:35 PM

Non-greek lavaliering a greek girlfriend
 
Hey, I am not in the greek life but my girlfriend is and she has mentioned lavaliering. If I am not in a fraternity can I lavalier her? Is there any special rules or anything? I do not want to come off as an ass trying to do something that is special to the greek life.

knight_shadow 01-05-2010 09:37 PM

What would you lavalier her with?

nongreek123 01-05-2010 10:27 PM

idk what i would "lavalier" her with and no i have never seen the show greek. i just thought it might be a nice thing to do for her. im pretty sure she wants it to happen.

33girl 01-05-2010 11:22 PM

You can get her a promise ring or a promise necklace or a mizpah or something. Do the young people still do that today?

But if you aren't Greek and your girlfriend is specifically saying she wants to be lavaliered, you might have some relationship issues. 1) Women usually don't ask men to lavalier them unless they're real ballbreakers 2) She knows you have no letters to lavalier her with and it sounds like she's jealous of her sisters who are getting lavaliered by their Greek boyfriends. Which means in her eyes, you are coming up short, Charlie.

Sphinxy 01-07-2010 03:28 PM

I agree with 33girl in that a girl should never ask to be lavaliered. Its basically a pre-engagement so make sure that that is how you view it.

Otherwise, one of my sisters at a different school was recently lavaliered by her gdi boyfriend. He used our letters and had asked permission from the house to do so. Lavaliering is typically considered an only greek practice in that you can never give her your letters and show that she means as much to you as your letters do to you. Its very symbolic in that regard. And you also wont get all the ribbing that Greek guys have to go through after dropping a girl so its never going to be the same or hold the same meaning as a Greek dropping her.

I would just give her a nice promise ring on a chain if you wanted to give her something and then she can have a candle pass in her house which makes it more symbolic...

WVU alpha phi 01-07-2010 05:28 PM

Max? (how does he know about this if he's never seen Greek?)

I'd personally think it was lame if my non-Greek boyfriend lavaliered me. I can wear my letters anytime, wearing your boyfriend's letters that he gave to you (and all that goes with it) would be special.

MysticCat 01-07-2010 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WVU alpha phi (Post 1882435)
(how does he know about this if he's never seen Greek?)

Well, he said his girlfriend brought it up.

Titchou 01-07-2010 06:26 PM

Perhaps it's a subtle way of suggesting he join a fraternity so that he can lavalier her?

Gusteau 01-07-2010 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WVU alpha phi (Post 1882435)
Max? (how does he know about this if he's never seen Greek?)

He mentioned Greek because I mentioned it in my response and linked to the other thread about this topic. I can see how this could be confusing as my post was deleted.

Why my post was removed, I have no idea...

FSUZeta 01-07-2010 07:02 PM

a non-greek person should not be lavaliering his greek girlfriend. final answer!

aephi alum 01-07-2010 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta (Post 1882488)
a non-greek person should not be lavaliering his greek girlfriend. final answer!

Why not?

33girl 01-07-2010 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aephi alum (Post 1882574)
Why not?

Because the letters aren't theirs to give.

Psi U MC Vito 01-07-2010 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1882579)
Because the letters aren't theirs to give.

Though it could be argued that even for fraternity men the letters aren't theirs to give.

BabyPiNK_FL 01-07-2010 10:34 PM

My ex, who is in a fraternity, gave me my own letters after I got lavaliered by my big after about a year (as is chapter tradition) but with a gold one which is what I really wanted instead of the silver I got initially [cos that's what I deserved, yeah I said it:)].

DrPhil 01-07-2010 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1882581)
Though it could be argued that even for fraternity men the letters aren't theirs to give.

I agree, and that's one reason why lavaliering for boyfriends and girlfriends is such a strange thing to me. I don't understand fraternity men "giving" their letters to a woman or "giving" a woman her own letters.

It makes more sense to me that there are organizations with designations and/or ceremonies for husbands and wives of members. I don't know if this involves the "giving" of any letters for some of these orgs.


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