How do I make better frienships with my sisters?
 

My sisters are all sweet and very nice but I don’t actually have friendships with them. I had lost touch with them over summer and I considered dropping out this past fall semester, but I stayed to see the other side of pledging.

I don’t know how this exactly happened, but I feel like I have distanced myself a lot from the other girls. I am no longer close to my pledge class or any of the other girls. I felt like this semester they have grown so close to one another and I wasn’t there to be a part of the fun and I felt left out. After some time, I stopped going to social events and other outings with them.

But, a new semester is coming up and I want to change all of that. I want to make a strong and sincere effort to make things right. I want to build better friendships with them and I want to be close to my sisters. I want to be a better and devoted member; I just don’t know how to go about it. What are some ways I can be the best member and improve my relationships with my sisters? I want to be more outgoing with them and remind all the girls why they chose me in the first place to join their sorority. Sometimes, I feel like it is difficult to be outgoing and to be myself when there are so many other girls who are funny and loud with outgoing personalities. It’s hard to be noticed. Any advice?

Does your chapter have a house? If so, move in. Do you have any sisters in your major? Take some classes with them and study together. Get involved in a leadership position in the chapter. Make an effort to ask another sister to go to lunch with you. Instead of waiting for someone else to make the first move to approach you, approach someone else that seems like someone you would like to know better and start a conversation. Is your Big sis still in the chapter? Ask her to help you. I know a lot of this seems daunting when you are shy, but it will never get better if you don't make an effort. Next semester, you'll get a new group of sisters with a new opportunity to make connections with more women and an opportunity to be a Big sis. I really only made really close friendships with women in classes behind my pledge class so don't feel like not being best friends with every girl in your chapter means that you've failed.

Some advice:

Building relationships takes time, so don't get discouraged if it takes a few semesters. Just as with any other relationship in your life, it will not form overnight or instantly.

Many times, girls also think that you have to do something BIG like plan an event or be an officer in order to get involved and get to know other sisters. Not true.

Participating on a SMALL scale helps build relationships too. You don't know how many people I became friends with just by participating in small ways like helping with a Recruitment poster or Homecoming float.

Continue to make an effort to attend social events. While at socials, talk to some girls you wouldn't usually talk to. That is a good way to build a friendship.

In general, be proactive. Do not just sit back and expect sisters to make plans with you or hang out with you. Some will, but often it takes effort on your part as well.

Hope I helped in some way. Good luck.