Msm
 

Maybe someone can help me with this. I was reading this month's Essence health section a couple of weeks ago, and I came across an article about the rising HIV rates in the AA community.

Now, I was reading how health care workers and counselors started using the terminology MSM (men who sleep with men)instead of gay or bisexual to refer to guys who do that double dip kind of situation. It is supposed to be a term that allows men to keep their masculinity and encourage them to be more open about their activities in healthcare situations.

Scratching my head Now hold up! If a man is doing this kind of stuff on the sly, is he really going to tell his doctor or the worker at the free clinic, "I'm an MSM and might be needing one of those there HIV tests"? I mean, that homothug stuff had me tripping a few months back, but now this?

Do you all think that this label will help men to be more truthful with anyone (their physicians, girlfriends, wives) about their activities?


Just Wondering,
TRSimon

Soror,

I'm feeling you on that article and subject! I also read that piece and I agree that black men won't tell anyone that they are living a double life. And even if he gets caught he still will try to deny that he is a member of the MSM club. Sistas have somethings to worry about when we start to get serious about a brotha now a days. Why are there so many sick, messed up brothas walking around and hurting so many people with their secret life-styles?

I helped a former professor of mine gather data for a similar study, and you'd be amazed at how easily black men adapted to the MSM term as opposed to the word "gay". For some, they (mistakenly) think that "gay" refers to white men, and they're not trying to do anything like white folks. Additionally, for those GBM who take a more active sexual role, they seem to think that because they're the pitcher (instead of the catcher) it doesn't make them gay.

MSM is a more inclusive term too, because not all men who are sexually involved with other men do so exclusively. Bisexual men are, technically, MSMs as well.

MSM was started by an activist named Cleo Manago, if my memory serves me correctly. You can probably find out more about him in a Google search.

Because as long as people think of gay men (or MSM - choose your preferred term) :D as 'sick and messed up', they'll always feel a need to hide it.

Interesting...
 

Wow. I thought that with all of the taboos in our community about sexuality, that these men would not be willing to acknowledge any part of their homosexual activities in public. In your information gathering, did you find out if these men were more willing to open up to heterosexual partners using this term or was its use only for healthcare purposes?

TRSimon

To the Friend of the SGRho Post,

Yes, I still say that it is sick and messed up to live a fake double life style that could possibly destroy so many innocent and precious lives. If you are gay or prefer someone of the same sex be up front about who you are and tell the other person that you are what you are!

There are too many African American women walking around infected with so many STDS because of so much deception. Yes, women have to be wise and select their mates carefully, but a little honesty goes along way!

That's my 22 cents on this serious subject!

Re: Interesting...
 

Well, it wasn't exactly a public situation. The data was gathered in various ways: through anonymous surveys, through one-on-one interviews, by attending meetings of organizations African American MSM (I've also heard the term Same-Gender Loving), and -- here's a kicker -- in churches. The study was intended to find out whether African American MSM felt a specific connection to or ostracism from faith-based communities, and to what degree their level of disclosure affected their feelings of acceptance.

In general, we found out that men still weren't willing to open up to their heterosexual partners any more than normal regardless of the terminology used. The stigma of gay sex = weak male kept a lot of them from doing that. However, for those men who did open up to their female partners about their "other" sexual desires, they found that the MSM term sort of... helped make that disclosure easier, because they don't honestly think of themselves as "gay".

Hello
I read this piece in Essence as well. My thoughts are that women are going to have to take time to get to know a man and if you think it may get serious don't be afraid to ask questions or do a little private investigation. These type of men are good at lying because they don't believe themselves to be gay or bisexual so a little P.I. is worth a shot.

I read the article as well, and this is just making me afraid to date.

MidWestDiva,

You're not alone! A lot of African American women are afraid to get in a serious relationship with African American men because a few choose to have this hidden life style! However, we shouldn't give up on all of our brothers, just spend more time really getting to know everything about them before you decide to take the relationship to a deeper level.

Serioussigma22!